Nadal Decline Poetry

Discussion in 'General Pro Player Discussion' started by JoelDali, May 11, 2011.

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  1. Colin

    Colin Professional

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    Out of the Blue, Into the Red

    My my, hey hey,
    tennis is here to stay.
    It's better to burn out
    than to fade away.
    My my, hey hey.

    Out of the blue
    and into the red.
    They give you a masters in Spain,
    but you only complain.
    And once you're gone,
    you say you'll never come back
    to the clay you dread.
    When you're out of the blue
    and into the red.

    The false GOAT is gone
    and he's forgotten, it's true
    as the BOTE rejoices
    over the new No 2.
    It's better to burn out
    than it is to rust.
    The false GOAT is gone,
    his clay withered to dust.

    Hey hey, my my,
    tennis can never die.
    There's more to the court
    than meets the eye.
    Hey hey, my my.






    (With apologies to the great Neil Young)
     
  2. natalia

    natalia Semi-Pro

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    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2012
  3. Al Czervik

    Al Czervik Professional

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    Could I get something about the closed roof, upstart Czech, and endorsing Pokerstars? TIA.
     
  4. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    We saw the last lights of London
    over the sky as the roof closed in on
    Unkle Toni's fair and supple breasts

    Grey overcast
    GOATed dreams
    fecalized residue soils
    the long white shorts
    of the sullen bull

    fractured chest bumps
    fill Centre Court
    peanuts and corn pellets
    trickle out of his bum
    sweetly gently lightly

    Judy Murray's stout
    and subtle breasts
    immortal the young
    man's memory
    of crippling Cortex
    on fire poker star
    cigar smile
    hands in pocket liar thieves

    Czech check
    GOATing
    hitting
    through the Bull
    GOATing
    shot making
    The unbearable lightness of GOATing
    fighting communists and making love in the streets
    Thunderbird spirit Rosol GOATed Glory
     
  5. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    ^^^

    TioToniTaTas...brilliant! 17 Vamoses for the Poap!
     
  6. DeShaun

    DeShaun Banned

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    Once was a sturdy little man ensconced on a hilltop,
    High were the walls of defense, behind which he worked;
    were Maintained through his intensive labor alone.
    He hoisted his Fruit of The Loom flag, daring All outside his walls,
    to snatch it down.
    ..but none would go near that odoriferous rag, and thus was maintained,
    The sturdy man's crown.

    Til one day there from easterly came a dark man, whose hands were like Beckham's feet,
    and whose feet were like Rodin's hands.
    Strongly and capably did he wield his tools.
    Traversed ground like a charging steed protecting its foal;
    nor was he bothered by the flying stool atop the hill,
    So he made It his goal "to scale. . .[and]. . .to kill!"

    For many enough before in his travels had spoken so ill,
    of this far-off kingdom of Sh-It Rag that,
    By now, The easterly man, having heard quite enough
    Decided to quell the source of so many heavy hearts,
    and thus became targeted the sturdy man's ramparts.
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2012
  7. sportsfan1

    sportsfan1 Hall of Fame

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    Rafa arrived on grass, but with feet of clay,
    undone by a 5th set delay
    was lookin for the winners check,
    instead was sent packin early by winners from the Czech
    As Rafa's ponderin while fishin in the bay,
    he will realize that grass, even when trodden,
    will not play like clay!
     
  8. kanamit

    kanamit Hall of Fame

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    This thread is too funny
     
  9. TopFH

    TopFH Hall of Fame

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    BUMP!

    Any new poetry?
     
  10. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    Do you ever wonder where
    We would be if we'd have served
    A little harder?
    It seems like yesterday
    That we were making plans
    For the Cortex party

    But it's been so long
    Since I have mourned the dreams
    Those dreams Uncle Toni left abandoned
    And I'm haunted by Rosol
    And the memory of his GOATshots
    Sweet Soderlingesque GOATness

    Do you remember?
    I still remember the Cortex crystals
    I remember never serving so mucho slow
    Do you remember?
    I still can't forget Rogi's Oreo Vapours
    Muy stiff but GOATlike after break in
     
  11. SQA333

    SQA333 Professional

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    I am Nadal, no?
    I will go,
    and lose my world #2 ranking to Djokovic.
    That little b*tch.

    I thrive on clay,
    and only clay.
    The only surface where I am better
    than the overrated Swiss Federer.

    Three titles this year, each one on clay
    the hard court swing means everybody has me at bay.
    But I will keep fighting, no?
    Even though the fans know
    that my fighting spirit is clearly just for show.

    "The season is too long, no???"
     
  12. -RF-

    -RF- Hall of Fame

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    Oh dear I have dropped my keys
    But I can't pick them up due to my dodgy knees.
     
  13. Raging Buddha

    Raging Buddha Semi-Pro

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    Four titles, but that is my only negative critique.

    Haven't won off clay since twenty-ten,
    So I know I can't do anything until when.
    2013 MC;
    Comes around to save me.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2012
  14. SQA333

    SQA333 Professional

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    Ah yes, how could I forget Barcelona. :oops:
     
  15. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Private Thoughts Inside the Mallorcan's Mind, 28.6.12

    No mas, No mas
    La rodilla es enfermo
    To win medalla de oro
    First I see Dr. Cotorro

    My Czech it bounced
    Second round I'm trounced
    Go home to fish, go home to wish
    A cure for all my pain
    A relief for all my strain

    Por favor, mio medico
    Make me new I beg of you
    La rodilla es enfermo
    To run again I trust in you
     
  16. jones101

    jones101 Hall of Fame

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    Sweaty underwear, thinning hair,
    Tio swears, under centre courts glare,
    He says 'Poor Rafa, this czech is unfair'
    Hitting winners past my Neph like he just dont care.

    Tio's getting scared now, hidden nerveousness lingers
    Hes emitting an odour, just like Nadal's fingers.
    Rafa is struggling, despite all his fist pumps,
    Resorts to cheap tactics, gave Rosol the 'Bryans Bump'

    A dozen moonballs, and a ton of winners later.
    Rosol defeated the Vamos Brigade Terminator.
    Press call it an upset, haters giggled with glee.
    The Brigade were upset, they left TT for a week.

    With time to reflect, and excuses in place,
    They re-entered the forum at a superspeed pace.

    They say to each other ''Brigade repeat after me''
    ''The loss doesnt count, he was INJURED you see''

    They think hes a god, so cant see what went wrong.
    But he hits way too short & returns way too long.

    They wonder on the low when his decline will occur?
    Dont wonder no more the decline is here.
    No more titles for 'Dull one im afraid this year
    Oh, there's always the latin swing early next year!
     
  17. jaggy

    jaggy G.O.A.T.

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    There was a young Spaniard called nad
    Who's fans all thought he was rad
    He grew lots of muscles
    and never played brussels
    Oooo I think he's so bad
     
  18. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Private Conversation With El Medico 19.7.12

    Por favor, mio medico
    Make Me new, I beg of you
    La rodilla es enfermo
    To run again, I trust in you

    No, my son, it's way too soon
    Alas, it would be the same sad tune
    Another loss to another clown
    Sad to say, you must sit down

    Be careful in your choice of chair
    La rodilla may be beyond repair
    If only you can shorten points
    To ease the strain on your rotten joints

    Serve & Volley would be a key
    To save wear on this tricky knee
    Do you have to always grind?
    Can't you see? I'm in a bind!

    Even the great Dr. Cotorro
    Can't give you medalla de oro
    To have a chance at the final dance
    Rafalito, por favor, change your stance
     
  19. TopFH

    TopFH Hall of Fame

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    You are on fire with your poetry!
     
  20. Raging Buddha

    Raging Buddha Semi-Pro

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    I have no words.

    TomGOAT of both poetry and 17, indeed.
     
  21. Al Czervik

    Al Czervik Professional

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  22. romeo8880

    romeo8880 Legend

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    My Nadal thread about him pulling out of the US Open disappeared for some reason.
     
  23. tenniswriter

    tenniswriter Banned

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    Which Italian did he lose to
     
  24. Sentinel

    Sentinel Talk Tennis Guru

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    Maybe it got merged with the other 1024 threads on the same topic.:twisted:
     
  25. Stinkdyr

    Stinkdyr Professional

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    He came,
    He saw,
    He picked butt,
    He butt pirate snarled,
    He won,
    His knee collapsed.
     
  26. INTO10s

    INTO10s New User

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    Nice additions to the RUSH song "losing it" from the signals album
     
  27. natalia

    natalia Semi-Pro

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    Rafi lament

    My glorious comeback in Abu Dhabi
    just wasn't meant to be.

    Rosol inflicted me such a scare. :evil:
    Life is not fair! :(
     
  28. Ico

    Ico Hall of Fame

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    Rafael Nadal
    A titan crumbling down
    Searching for reprieve
     
  29. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Rafi's true and total lament
    on the tour, why so much cement?
    Why can't we play on clay
    always, forever, every day?
     
  30. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    Silent ban
    Tuna can
    Winstrol tabs
    Shakira bouncing bouncing
    Cortex no mas
    no me gusta cortex
    Necessito Basalt
    Mas Basalt senior
    Gracias
     
  31. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    What part of my body can I say is hurt
    To give good grounds for me to desert
    My knee, it's been a good excuse
    The tendon leaves it oh so loose
    But I need something to blame anew
    So the virus must make my tummy askew
     
  32. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Rafi says no, no mas to Oz
    You ask me I say it's bcoz
    Instead of tiny tummy virus
    His knee be made of papyrus
    Or maybe after a thorough scan
    It's revealed to be the silent ban

    On to Acapulco to have some fun
    Unless it's clay, I'm afraid he's done
    No mas, no mas to hard cement
    If it ain't red dirt, Nadal is spent!
     
  33. Mainad

    Mainad G.O.A.T.

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    You ask why I no play the tour?
    It's what happened at Wimby before!
    You can forget my dodgy knee,
    That Czech made a right fool of me,
    Now I no wanna play anymore!
     
  34. bezs

    bezs Legend

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    There once was a fearless Mallorcan bull
    But his knee had a big boo boo
    Rest and recovery was supposed to be a tool
    Fans were anticipating his return like a dancing RedFoo
    But in the end everyone just ended up a fool.


    :p
     
  35. Smasher08

    Smasher08 Hall of Fame

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  36. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    This is a horrible, mean thread and OP should be ashamed of his disco passion.

    Edit: I meant discompassion.
     
  37. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    no me gusta OP, no?

    Should he endure a silent ban???
     
  38. Prisoner of Birth

    Prisoner of Birth Banned

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    :lol: Disco Passion!
     
  39. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    Dali is a genius.

    Lol.
     
  40. NEW_BORN

    NEW_BORN Professional

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    Disco Passion :shock:

    Greatest typo ever :)
     
  41. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    Nah.

    Try and write discompassion on an iPhone.

    It turns into Disco Passion.

    lolSullz.
     
  42. Smasher08

    Smasher08 Hall of Fame

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    I have a new poem. I call it "Nadal Now":



    Olympics

    T-dot

    Cincy

    Flushing Meadow

    Tokyo

    Shanghai

    Bercy

    O2

    Doha

    Melbourne

    Count 'em, that's

    [​IMG]
     
  43. natalia

    natalia Semi-Pro

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    Joel said : Google it! - and so I did.

    An old one, but still so fitting ;), never mind the ranking place :lol:
    It has been written by Selesfan, member of MTF, few years ago.
    I only did the layout.

    [​IMG]
     
  44. AtomicForehand

    AtomicForehand Hall of Fame

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    Except Rafa doesn't believe in God, so he would never be praying to one. So...not really funny.
     
  45. Steve0904

    Steve0904 G.O.A.T.

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    No it's pretty funny regardless if he believes in god or not. Stop trying to be smart about it.
     
  46. AtomicForehand

    AtomicForehand Hall of Fame

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    Can't be funny if the whole joke is predicated upon something that is the opposite of what a person is or believes. Sorry. Fail.
     
  47. mariecon

    mariecon Hall of Fame

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    He doesn't believe in God? Then what's this? http://youtu.be/M8SL1A6l8Bs I always thought he was doing the sign of the cross in his little OCD prep before every point. :lol:
     
  48. Colin

    Colin Professional

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    A little ditty to remember Rafa till the European clay season ...


    Shut up and Serve

    Rafa, we don't want to hear your daily pleas
    about how the hard courts hurt your knees,
    or about the torturous length of the season.
    Every time you lose we don't need a reason.
    I don't want to hear about all the things you deserve.
    Just shut up and serve.
    Just shut up and serve.

    Rafa, we don't need to see where the chair left a bruise
    or vicariously live the torment of the insoles in your shoes.
    Your dumb ideas -- there's not enough time to list 'em,
    but how about this one: A two-year ranking system?
    I don't want to hear how you choked on that hors d'oeuvre.
    Just shut up and serve.
    Just shut up and serve.

    Rafa, we know you hate that pesky 25-second rule,
    but it could be worse. You could be serving to Rosol.
    And try this trick to keep your hand from going back there:
    Just imagine a Japanese hot plate in your underwear.
    Your tics and gripes have gotten on our last nerve.
    Just shut up and serve.
    Just shut up and serve.
     
  49. natalia

    natalia Semi-Pro

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    Rafi's reaction to this thread in general - and to Colin's ditty in particular :

    [​IMG]


    Colin!!!!
     
  50. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Ode On A Mallorcan Urn

    My apologies for taking so long to write this, but by the end of this you'll know why it took me so long:

    I was gonna clean Rosol until I got high
    I was gonna get up and find my "vroom"
    But then I got high
    My knee is still messed up and I know why
    Coz I got high
    I got high
    I got high

    I was gonna play the Olys before I got high
    I coulda cheated and I coulda passed
    But I got high
    I'm taking it next to Rio and I know why
    Coz I got high
    I got high
    I got high

    I was gonna go to Oz but then I got high
    I just got a new Babolat but I got high
    Now I'm playing clay instead and I know why
    Coz I got high
    I got high
    I got high

    I was gonna get on court before I got high
    I was gonna pay WADA bribes but then I got high
    They took my pay for half a year and I know why
    Coz I got high
    I got high
    I got high

    I was gonna run from the "pee" patrol but I was high
    I was gonna fill the cup and stop but I was high
    Now I served a silent ban and I know why
    Coz I got high
    I got high
    I got high!
     
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