New Racquet (In development)

Discussion in 'Racquets' started by NickJ, Oct 3, 2012.

  1. NickJ

    NickJ Rookie

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    Hi all, just wanted to share some info but keep it to yourselves as this may go global very quickly. I'm developing a new racquet that if the technology works will blow all other racquet manufacturers out of the water!
    I'm calling it the NickJ Super-Duper 3000. It is essentially all the tech that racquet companies over the years have added to their racquets, all combined in one! Imagine how good that stick will be!??!!! It will have biomimietic (? is that a made up word? Who casres it sounds techy) Youtek Ncode Kfactor BLX Micro-liquid-metal-gel, a Vcore with a few Woofers & Rollers thrown in, made from a Hyper-Aero-Pro Braided carbon/titanium/kevlar/unobtainium mix.
    I'm sure there's some other tech I've forgotton to include but please remind me what else I can shove in there & I'll give you a credit! What a racquet this is gonna be!
     
    #1
  2. UCSF2012

    UCSF2012 Hall of Fame

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    We need to find you a girlfriend.
     
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  3. Vcore89

    Vcore89 Hall of Fame

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    Just a quick retort. All the tech babble is just mincing with words, take for example Karophite Black = Innegra.:)
     
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  4. NickJ

    NickJ Rookie

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    I don't think my wife would approve, but thanks for the kind thought!
     
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  5. BoomstickTPH

    BoomstickTPH New User

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    That racquet would be too unstable trust me I've tried.
     
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  6. anirut

    anirut Legend

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    Make sure it comes standard with a western grip.
     
    #6
  7. McLovin

    McLovin Hall of Fame

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    Don't forget to magnetize it, and it should be a thin-beam-wide-body with a straight-constant-variable-taper beam.
     
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  8. dr325i

    dr325i Legend

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    Then, find a babysitter and take your wife out on a date, she will really appreciate that.
     
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  9. Nostradamus

    Nostradamus G.O.A.T.

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    What about that new radar AI chip that will help you hit the ball in the sweet spot about 99.9 % of the time. Now That would change the racket industry forever.

    Sounds crazy, but this would not help you control the ball. Control will still be up to you but racket will help you find the sweet spot every time. this would improve amateur game tremendously, Not to mention Mr. Roger Federer.
     
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  10. McLovin

    McLovin Hall of Fame

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    Oh, and add some DNX Organix Basalt Intellifibre w/ a Bio Sensor handle.
     
    #10
  11. McLovin

    McLovin Hall of Fame

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    Obviously you are not married. Wives don't appreciate anything their husbands do for them...
     
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  12. dr325i

    dr325i Legend

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    Just celebrated our 13-year anniversary, and our older just turned 11.
    I would not generalize, though ;)
     
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  13. syke

    syke Professional

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    You poor thing.. No sweet loving for the McLovin.
     
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  14. McLovin

    McLovin Hall of Fame

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    Luckily for me, after 20 years of marriage & two kids, my wife still resembles your avatar:

    [​IMG]

    So I will put up w/ her not appreciating me...
     
    #14
  15. dr325i

    dr325i Legend

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    You've seen Shallow Hal? ;)
     
    #15
  16. xFullCourtTenniSx

    xFullCourtTenniSx Hall of Fame

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    Come on guys... I thought we were done with Racket Tech? It's so stone age!

    What you need, is a hyper static string made of a combination of adamantium and unobtainium, using nano-technology to constantly monitor static levels, string tension, elasticity levels, and RPM of the string (yes, the string will actually SPIN so that they will put RPM on the ball for you even if you hit with a 100% flat stroke) to give you that perfect "grab" into the "sweetspot" with plenty of "ball pocketing" that launches the ball with levels of spin and pace that would make a combination of Nadal's forehand and the hard hitting Delpo look like a newborn.

    You kids needs to drop your little toy rackets and move on to the future of tennis.
     
    #16
  17. BreakPoint

    BreakPoint Bionic Poster

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    If you really did that it would be the WORST racquet ever conceived because EVERY new technology that has been put into tennis racquets over the past 30 years have made the racquets WORSE. So if you put ALL of these useless technologies into ONE racquet, it would be so BAD that it would be UNPLAYABLE.

    The 30 year old racquets (e.g., PS 85, POG, PC600 & Donnay Pro One, etc.) are still better than anything that has come out since.
     
    #17
  18. chopstic

    chopstic New User

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    Yeah, I agree! Im thinking it needs a Star Trek tractor beam built into it, to always suck the ball right into the center of the string bed.
     
    #18
  19. BreakPoint

    BreakPoint Bionic Poster

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    Then why not a Star Trek transporter so that instead of having to hit the ball to where you want it to go, you can just "beam" it to exactly where you want the ball to land in your opponent's court. :)
     
    #19
  20. lawrencejin

    lawrencejin Rookie

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    I think your new racket will sell extremely well if you add a robot that plays tennis for you (with a purchase of two or more rackets) :)
     
    #20
  21. mikeler

    mikeler G.O.A.T.

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    I want my O ports!
     
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  22. NickJ

    NickJ Rookie

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    My point exactly BP! All the stupid tech they 'put' on racquets and you just cant beat the old 'uns!
     
    #22
  23. anubis

    anubis Hall of Fame

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    can you please make it with an adjustable stiffness factor? I'd like to start off all my matches with an iron pole and finish with a rubber chicken.

    Also I'd like a 25 x 30 ultra dense string pattern @ 95 lbs. so that I can hit the ball at my opponent's nose the entire game.

    Lastly, can you make the handle hold Gatorade so I don't have to walk 10 feet to get a drink?

    thanks brah.
     
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  24. lawrencejin

    lawrencejin Rookie

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    Maybe a water tank inside the racket handle, so we can press a button to squirt Gatorade out the butt.

    That's right, I said out the butt :)
     
    #24
  25. NickJ

    NickJ Rookie

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    Hey, the title says 'In Development' so all suggestions will be taken into consideration and I love the Gatorade idea!
     
    #25
  26. NickJ

    NickJ Rookie

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    We moved house last year and a lot of boxes went up into the loft (attic, for my American friends). As we're having some new insulation fitted this week I've had to clear the loft out. Joy upon joys when I found the only remaining PS 95 Original I had left!! I did have about 7/8 but over the years they've become cracked or scraped beyond repair. I remember breaking a string and putting it in an old Fischer racquet bag to protect it in the house move. My little face when I found it at the weekend! I'll get it re-strung then it can replace the Bab Pure Storms as my 'GoTo' stick! Wonder if I'll find my old 200g somewehere . . .
     
    #26
  27. WhereIsMacMac

    WhereIsMacMac Professional

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    yeah, like these technologies are patented?
     
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  28. zapvor

    zapvor Legend

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    talk tennis at its classic best.

    serious though, forget the tech. all you need is to pay some dude that yells out vamos and slides around on clay a couple million euros a year to play with your plastic 12inch frame and the orders will pour in. just make sure TW carries it
     
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  29. NickJ

    NickJ Rookie

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    Doesn't matter if they're patented or not MacMac, or am I missing your irony? Either way, BreakPoint got my train of thought, the whole reason for my rant/p155-take is that you cant beat the old racquets! NCode, Biomimetic, VCore, they're all just made-up words invented by some idiot in a suit who has no idea about tennis and needs to justify his existence to his bosses by bewildering the racquet buying public. "How about NanoFuse? It's when we fuse the nano things together to form a new stronger/flexible/powerful frame that's better than all we've done before and anything made by our competitors and the best there ever will be (until I think of the next bullsh1t word . . . )
     
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  30. DownTheLineWith90

    DownTheLineWith90 Rookie

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    Let's stay on topic here..
    Who cares if you're married or not?
    We're here to talk about rackets.
     
    #30
  31. SirGounder

    SirGounder Hall of Fame

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    Make sure it's frameless, I hate hitting the frame. Also make sure the paintjob is 20 kinds of awesome. Dude you're gonna be rich.
     
    #31
  32. 5point5

    5point5 Banned

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    Is the grip shape going to be similar to the Head or Wilson shape?
     
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