Nice "article" on Fed.

Discussion in 'General Pro Player Discussion' started by AM95, Dec 5, 2009.

  1. AM95

    AM95 Hall of Fame

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    #1
  2. THESEXPISTOL

    THESEXPISTOL Hall of Fame

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    Roger Federer's game is based around his big forehand, which is one of the best shots in tennis. His game's pretty one-dimensional, really. Without the forehand, he'd be nothing. You could just hit to his right hand side and you'd win every point. I'd like to see him hit a backhand winner from there. So a forehandless Federer would be useless. Except for the serve, of course, that's really accurate and reliable. Without the forehand and the serve, what would you really have? A backhand and some volleys, that's what. His volleys are vastly overrated. They're not the best in the world. They're merely in the top ten, which makes them sort of okay.

    So there you go. If Federer couldn't hit his forehand, his serve or any volleys, he'd be in a lot of trouble. As we all know, he has a decent backhand, but if you can somehow manage to consistently hit the ball deep and make it bounce up high to shoulder height, then he might not hit a winner every time. Then you've got him right where you want him.


    LMFAO :lol:
     
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  3. SplitStepper

    SplitStepper Rookie

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    wow....what utter nonsense.
     
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  4. meltphace 6

    meltphace 6 Rookie

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  5. cucio

    cucio Legend

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    Funny. Nadal's is funny too. Murray's is too mindlessly bashing to my taste.
     
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  6. Cup8489

    Cup8489 Legend

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    Nadal's:
    A tennis match against Rafael Nadal is a battle. This is how Nadal likes it. Nadal loves the fight and has an irresistible urge to fight back against the fight coming from across the net. Nadal is a fighter, a battler against the opposition, against the elements, against the world.

    Like two warring galleys stuck out in the middle of the ocean, Nadal and his opponent have no one to turn to but themselves. You can send all the cannonballs you want. Rafa's mighty bows can withstand any attack. His proud sails propel him faster and faster as the oncourt storm whips up to a frenzy. His poop deck is always spotless. This is watery attrition, and Rafael Nadal refuses to get wet. Not without a fight.

    Rafael Nadal will find the fight in his treasure chest of will to outlast his enemy. Eventually he will force his way aboard the opposition boat, into the opposition's very soul. The enemy's men will walk the plank, the women will get raped and the Spanish buccaneer with his deadly Babolat cutlass will sail home victorious, his luscious mane caressing the wind as he peers down at the world from his post in the crow's nest. This is piracy. This is Rafa style.
     
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  7. Cup8489

    Cup8489 Legend

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    LOL at Djokovic's

    Novak Djokovic turned pro in 2003. Like any other player, as soon as he turned pro, Novak revealed his intent to reach the top and add his name to the record books. He could not achieve any of his greatest goals during the first 3 years but it all began in 2006. Djokovic started the quest to break the “retirement” record in the quarter-finals of Roland-Garros against Rafael Nadal, the defending champion also know as the king of clay. Although he lost the first 2 sets, Novak Djokovic was only 3 sets away from defeating the King of Clay when he suddenly was forced to retire. Later that year he achieved his second retirement in Umag-Croatia against Stanislas Wawrinka. Novak had to wait almost a year, until Wimbledon 2007 to take a step closer to that record. Again against Rafael Nadal, he tooks the first set 6-3. Then after a very close 2nd set which he lost 1-6, Novak retired trailing in the 3rd set 1-4. He was only 20 years old. During last year’s TMS Monte-Carlo 2008 Djokovic won another retirement but this time against world number one Roger Federer. Most recently, at the Australian Open, Novak vowed to consolidate his place among the tennis greats by defending his title, fortunately a deadly case of sore throat overwhelmed Novak and he was forced to retire, achieving a great step towards living his dream.
     
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  8. prosealster

    prosealster Professional

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    was pretty funny indeed :)
     
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  9. TheMusicLover

    TheMusicLover Legend

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    Uncyclopedia = DA BEST.
    Very funny, good-spirited mockery at its best.
     
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  10. kishnabe

    kishnabe G.O.A.T.

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    Djokovic one is the best of all of them!
     
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  11. dh003i

    dh003i Legend

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    Yea, it is pretty funny. "Without all of the things that make him great, he wouldn't be great at all!"
     
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  12. ReopeningWed

    ReopeningWed Semi-Pro

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    Didn't you write this yourself OP?
    And didn't you have other threads about your uncyclopedia articles as well?
     
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  13. Knightmace

    Knightmace Professional

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    Born in England in 1987, Andy Murray's main claim to fame is his obsessive attempts to try to convince everyone that he is Scottish. He is also an active member of the 'How not to style your hair' club for men, acting as a guest speaker at many of their conventions. Murray has been known to play tennis on occasion, his appearance at Wimbledon a testament to the fame attracted by his 'I'm not from England' crusade. After a transaction with the Devil, Andy Murray in exchange for his soul secured his #2 position in the ATP rankings.

    With his fame as a politician spreading Andy Murray has moved into the fashion world, demonstrating a variety of hairstyles, each more woeful than the last. So bad is his hair the majority of the time that it has been described as 'an abomination to the human race' by a prominent fashion writer, and even Donald 'combover' Trump agreed that he would rather saw off his own leg and eat it than have an Andy Murray haircut sitting atop his head. Murray claims, however, to be making a statement about the oppression of the Scottish people by the hateful English. "My terrible hair represents the terrible trouble the Scottish have been having being forced to live next to the English", said Murray in a recent press conference.
    [edit] Tennis

    Murray has always been a keen player, having once been placed runner-up in the Under 11 Ipswich Tennis Tournament. Although that has remained the peak of his 'career', his hopes of one day playing on centre court at Wimbledon were fulfilled when his 'beat up an Englishman and steal their money' organizational project earned him enough money to hire it for the day. He competed against world superstar Rafael Nadal in an exhibition game mostly attended by Scots, where he was defeated 6-0 6-0 6-1. Murray maintains he enjoyed the experience, despite having to be stretchered off after collapsing from exhaustion at the end of the third set.

    Before his arrival on the scene British tennis fans (at the last count there were over 143 of them) wanted for nothing more than a British tennis player to win Wimbledon. Moaning Scot Murray has changed all that. British tennis fans have now returned to supporting foreign tennis players, just as it should be.
     
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  14. Knightmace

    Knightmace Professional

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    Tennis elbow

    ennis elbow is a mental condition experienced by over playing the sport of tennis. The elbow (usually attached to the arm of the person playing the sport of tennis that is holding the tennis racket) takes over the mind of the host and attempts to cause mass haemorrhaging to coloured objects (either a tennis ball or gerbil as used in gerbil tennis). Even though it is called “tennis elbow” and is usually a result of playing tennis, street fighters and ninjas are known to have started training in the art of tennis elbow from 1883 for combat purposes. One ninja after being dealt several blows by another ninja using the art of tennis elbow said, “Ouch, that really hurt.” On the street it is often shortened just to “elbow.”

    Symptoms

    * Usually some pain

    [edit] Treatment

    * Stop playing tennis
    * Be nicer to street fighters or ninjas
    * Stop jacking off all the time
    * Stop playing with my large organ

    **** **** AND PLAY HARDER SIT ON TOILET SEAT AND DO NOTHING...MY DICK IS BIG
     
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