Psuedo Fed Blog

Discussion in 'General Pro Player Discussion' started by TennisLovaLova, Jun 20, 2012.

  1. TennisLovaLova

    TennisLovaLova Hall of Fame

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    Has anyone read this yet?
    Kinda funny

    http://pseudofedblog.com/2012/06/20/my-letter-to-wimbledon/

    My letter to @Wimbledon

    June 20, 2012 by pseudofedblog

    Good morning fans!

    Every year I write a letter to My friends at the Wimbledon. It’s like a tradition we have together. This year because of bloggings technology I thought you would all be so happy to see it so I am sharing it.

    I tried to get in contact with Jim Courier to make the deliveries it but his people said he doesn’t do this. I wish he would make up the mind.

    ————————

    Dear Mr. Wimbledon,

    I hope you are well. I am.

    Here is My usual anniversary letter with the requests for this year’s draw into the Law and Tennis Associations.

    I request NOT to be on My side of the draw:
    Nadal – I have spoken with Bjorn Borg and we don’t like him.
    Djokovic – Noisy families, keeps winning.
    Tom Haas – Has an unhealthy interest in other players and their injuries and he beat me in the Halle.
    Andrew Murray – Can beat Me. Everybody around him also seems to be called Murray. Suspicious. This is like Paul Anaconda being called Paul Roger. Please investigate, high priority.
    Isner – He beat Me in St. David’s Cup and too tall.
    Tsonga – He is the French one that knocked Me out last year. There is also something strange on his head this year.
    Raonic – Strange name. Too many vowels.
    Nalbandian – Dangerous but a good friend to have around in gangster situations.
    John McEnroe – He has beaten Borg and is STILL playing now, can you check whether this is legal?
    Bartoli – Her serve motions make me frightened.

    I request you CAN put on My side of the draw:
    Andrew Roddick – He is usually on My side so OK. His cap is always wet.
    Lleyton Hewitt – as above
    Baghdatis – as above but without the hat.
    Goffin – He is the little boy. You can hype this match up a lot with no serious reason. Yes.
    Sue Barker – She won the French Open but is quite small.
    Johnathan Lloyd – Apparently he used to like having the photos taken of himself in his undergarments. I am not comfortable with how small the fitting was.
    Patrick McEnroe – He had a great career as a doubles player and also part of a famous musical duets with Paul Simon.

    Thank you for the usual considerations. As usual, Centre Court only, don’t do a Garros on Me.

    Sincerely,
    GOAT
     
    #1
  2. Bobby Jr

    Bobby Jr Legend

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    Some of the tweets have been hilarious... didn't know till this a blog had been set up as well.
     
    #2
  3. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    I checked both his bloggings and tweetings and was disappointed. If there are any good tweetings, please post them here.

    Nice Original Postings, though.

    I first read this line literally:

    I request NOT to be on My side of the draw
     
    #3
  4. TennisLovaLova

    TennisLovaLova Hall of Fame

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    btw
    are you guys on twitter?
     
    #4
  5. zcarzach

    zcarzach Professional

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    That is f'in hilarious. My favorite lines:
    Nalbandian – Dangerous but a good friend to have around in gangster situations.
    John McEnroe – He has beaten Borg and is STILL playing now, can you check whether this is legal?
     
    #5
  6. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    I tweetings as Rafa's knees.:):)
     
    #6
  7. TennisLovaLova

    TennisLovaLova Hall of Fame

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    hahaha
    I'm 10000% sure NSK would have 2.4m followers if he decided to go on twitter
    rafa is more popular there than roger imo
     
    #7
  8. ivan_the_terrible

    ivan_the_terrible Hall of Fame

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    Dammit, is this true? I haven't seen your posts in the other forums in awhile!

    Did PRP treatments muzzle you? :shock:
     
    #8
  9. TennisLovaLova

    TennisLovaLova Hall of Fame

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    First I tought you were joking
    Then I found you there and tweeted you
     
    #9
  10. TennisLovaLova

    TennisLovaLova Hall of Fame

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    Well I found that account on twitter d when I asked the guy said he wasnt you...
    X files situation :)
     
    #10
  11. jones101

    jones101 Hall of Fame

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    Pesudofed is one of the best twiiter accounts around, seriously!

    Ive been following him for months and he is hilarious, he makes fun of Roger, but not offensively, and is very witty.

    He is so on point that you can almost believe its Federer........almost,
     
    #11
  12. jones101

    jones101 Hall of Fame

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    Newest PseudoFed Blog, and one of the best so far!

    Hello My great peoples!

    Yesterday, 26 of the Junes 2012, was My rest day at the Wimbledon Championships after My first round match.

    Every year you will be findings that us very top players (that win on blue clay H1STORY)) have a routines. This year I thought I should break this habit. So I dressed in a special disguises and mixed with you normal people in the grounds of the All of Britain Club, of the Law and Tennis Associations. I wanted to see how it felt to My fans. Here are My discoverings!

    Upon entering the gate two men offered to look through My GOAT bag and give Me a security check. I agreed after a little fight. It’s a shame My friend David ‘Soprano’ Nalbandian has already left, he is a good one to have around in these situations.

    It was a learning experience to see things from the other side of the periscopes. But let’s stick with the very important things:

    1. The food was quite acceptable. I sampled everything I could within reasons. Critique? Yes. I discovered I could buy “Fish and Chips”, but not the chips alone. I also may have purchased a burger with the chips but again, these could not be separated. OK for meat eaters. But hardly appropriate for vegetable people.

    2. Mr. Wimbledon has placed a generic statue as a gesture as if to say “reserved”. This will be replaced upon My retirement with a bronze statue of Me.

    3. Judy Murray (I don’t think she is related to Mr. Wimbledon) should be commended for her tireless work for tennis. Seriously, she is always there with her players and she doesn’t mind mixing with normal people (odd). She supported many players today as she is the top boss for one of My organisations, the Fed Cup. If the Queen does not honour her as Lady Judy Murray I would be willing to visit her palace in Buckingham and fire her.

    4. Ivan Lentils was wearing very fashionable sun protection spectacles today. Firstly I was relieved. You see in Roland Garros Boris Becker came to one of My matches wearing extra large ones. So it was pleasing to see something so sharp on Mr. Lentils. At least it was not from 1976. I have a little doggy fan called Margaret Mayhem. She follows My tweeting account and I follow hers. She is no ordinary doggy. She has special access to Ivan so she has promised to find out the make of these glasses for My collection. If you’re not already following her humble tweetings please do: @maggiemay_hem

    5. There is a part of Mr. Wimbledon’s garden that apparently used to be named after a player. He was from a long time ago when the world used to be in black and white and it was named, “Henman’s Hilltop”. After a short discussions one of My fans today renamed it, “Humble Hill” in My honour which I accept. So please refer to it as this from this moment onwards in time.

    6. During the evening I walked passed Mr. Harmans. He is one of Britains finest and this year is celebrating his 25th Championships. His tweetings name is: @NeilHarmanTimes - unfortunately we were both in a hurry so he did not get the pleasure of meeting Me. What did I learn from Mr. Harmans in such a short moment? Immaculately dressed, almost to My standards and also insists of mixing with the normal people (odd).

    7. There are Wimbledon Shops where you are able to buy little gifts to remember the day you came to see Me. I encourage you to buy some mementos if you get the opportunities. However, they sell some tennis balls that are of an incorrect size. Do not try to play tennis with these please as they are the size of footballs.

    I also noticed the shop items had price tags which surprised Me. I think this is because of the credit crunches and the degradable banks.

    All in all this was a fun experience. Would I recommend you visit where Mr. Wimbledon lives? Yes. It’s certainly a lifetime ambition for each and every one of you, especially if I am playing. Would I recommend for someone to be a normal person? No.

    Hugs
    PF xxx
     
    #12
  13. sbengte

    sbengte Legend

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    Sent was just kidding, this is his real twitter account.
     
    #13
  14. jones101

    jones101 Hall of Fame

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    And this Poem: :) :)

    On the eve of Mr. Wimbledon 2012 I thought it was time for making some reflections.

    Many of My British fans will remember Me and Rafa reading this poem before we played each other in the 2008 Wimbledon final (which I lost on a technicality; it was dark). It was originally written by Mr. Kiplings who also makes exceedingly good cakes. Fans outside the UK may have seen the video on MyTube.

    As you know, lately I have been letting My GOAT fingers do the talking and I know much of what I say you fun guys consider poetries anyway. But I wanted to lick the envelope, go two steps further. So I have taken Mr. Kiplings’ poem and made some enhancements which I know you will like. Watch the video to remind yourself, then read the new and correct version.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEeLh5ItQcY&feature=player_embedded


    IF you can be Humble when all about You
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on You,
    If you can trust Yourself when Tommy Haas beats You,
    But make allowance for his age too;
    If you can go 5 sets and not be tired by running,
    Always remember, Your hair looks stunning,
    Or being adored, give way to being adored,
    And yet You look too good, and talk too wise:

    If Goffin can dream – and realise I am his master;
    If you can serve – but somehow not keep Your aim;
    Playing on orange clay does not end with Triumph, but Disaster
    Djokovic? Nadal? Treat those two imposters just the same;
    You will be so happy to hear the truth I’ve spoken
    My racquets are not only My art but My tools,
    Watch the things I do on court, they are a little token,
    The entire package is Me… Mr. Cools

    I doubt you can ever make one tenth of all My winnings
    You’ll never serve first, because I win the coin toss,
    You’ll lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And I will keep talking about your loss;
    Many try to force Me into an error,
    Little do they realise, I have a bag full (of unforced errors),
    And so hold on, you know You’re the best,
    Except you play Nadal, then You’re just like the rest

    I can talk with the crowds, tell them to ‘Shut up’,
    I am your King – what is a common touch?
    To a Serbian family I say tut-tut,,
    All staff count on You, way too much;
    Fire them quickly, within less than a minute,
    Within sixty seconds I will make you run,
    But not too fast, Chef says My dinner is on a skillet,
    He says, eat it all up and You’ll be a GOAT, my son!
     
    #14
  15. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Yeah, you've busted me.


    Love, Rafa's Knees
     
    #15
  16. Rogael Naderer

    Rogael Naderer Semi-Pro

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    So puttings unnecassary Ss on the end of words is now funny?
     
    #16
  17. Rippy

    Rippy Hall of Fame

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    The twitter account is hilarious.
     
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  18. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Yeah, so are you ! :D
     
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  19. CMM

    CMM Legend

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    #19
  20. sbengte

    sbengte Legend

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    #20
  21. TopFH

    TopFH Hall of Fame

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    WTF is this? It is hilarious!
     
    #21
  22. Hood_Man

    Hood_Man Legend

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    Just reading this now, "Humble Hill," priceless :lol:
     
    #22
  23. Tony48

    Tony48 Legend

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    Is this the thing Chris Fowler has been talking about?
     
    #23
  24. Rippy

    Rippy Hall of Fame

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    Yeah; he was talking about the Twitter account.
     
    #24
  25. Hood_Man

    Hood_Man Legend

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    We owe it to Wimbledon viewers everywhere to get "Humble Hill" mentioned on the BBC.
     
    #25
  26. TennisLovaLova

    TennisLovaLova Hall of Fame

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    GOAT tweet from Pseudo Fed:

    It's OK John McEnroe doesn't approve of the #GOAT. I still love him. #YouCannotBeHumble @cbfowler #ESPN
     
    #26
  27. dimeaxe

    dimeaxe Semi-Pro

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    :lol:

    http://www.thetennisspace.com/pseudofed-my-review-of-the-year/

    The Mayan calendar says that there will be no other years after 2012. I can confirm that this is not true because in the shops My staff have seen pocket calendars for 2013. The Mayans prediction was based on the belief that I would be retiring in this year so, obviously, it would feel like the end of the world. I can confirm I am not quite making the retirements so you may all breath holding a sign of relief.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2012
    #27
  28. Cup8489

    Cup8489 Legend

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    xD I love those posts... it's so awesome.
     
    #28
  29. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    "The year began with January."

    Classic!
     
    #29
  30. Sabratha

    Sabratha G.O.A.T.

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    :lol:



    10lols.
     
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