Hey, one of my good friends confided in me an issue he's been having with his girlfriend the last few weeks. He really wants to get people's opinions, but doesn't want the situation to get too public and let people know there's a problem. Here's some background info: He and his girlfriend are both seniors in college, been dating since freshmen year (3 years), and want to go to grad school together. She does much better in school, so he's hoping to get in anywhere and she's happy just to go to the same grad school with him. She has been a commuter all her college career since she lives 5 miles away from the college, and he's an RA on campus. They both are taking +20 credits and have very little time together as it is. Anyway, this semester she is working in a chem lab with someone that just transferred to the college. He's kinda weird looking, laughs when no one is talking, and makes comments to himself - believe me, just kind of a weird dude. At first, the girlfriend was pissed at him bc she hates incompetent people and he was slaking of and making her work harder. But somehow she found out he has depression and used to be really good in school but now just doesn't care. My friend says that for over 2 weeks she is always helping him with class and lab work, even during the few short times they would have together during the week. As I said before she commutes to school (and leaves at 5pm typically), but recently she has had to stay over at the boyfriend's place for various reasons (this does not happen often, maybe 2 times a year). The thing is that the 3 times shes stayed over recently, she has worked on chem with the guy from 10pm to 3am, went out with one of her girlfriends for girl time from 10pm to 2am, and then this Saturday went to see rocky horror picture show with the guy while the boyfriend was on duty and couldnt go (she said she would be back by 2:00am at the latest, but due to the north east weather got back closer to 4am). It seems to the boyfriend that she is essentially just crashing at his place. Also, once this week she said she was working on chem at his dorm, when they normally work in one of the academic buildings. Anyway, my friend genuinely loves this girl, but is finding it harder every day to fully trust her. He isn't arguing that she needs to make more time to spend with him - all he wants is the little free time she has to be spent with him and not this other guy. He waits for her to come to his dorm during times he knows shes free, but he says he'll get a text saying that she has to go home and didnt know the chem would take so long. She insists that they're just friends, and she is doing her duty as a friend to help him with his work and help him conquer his depression single-handedly. The "new friend" does take meds, but apparently has been taking the wrong kind and doesn't see a therapist anymore. The point that my friend is trying to make is that all of his girlfriends free time is going to this new guy, and its really messing him up. The girlfriend sees the boyfriend as being jealous and controlling. I dont know man, ive seen this kid in dinning halls with his roommates, and apparently he has a girlfriend of his own, so all this depression stuff isnt sitting straight with me. I myself have taken Neuropsychology classes and studied matters of depression, and sometimes it seems like it doesnt add all up, or at least that the way my friends girlfriend is trying to "help" this guy is only going to be a short term masking of the real problems he has. Anyway, he wants to see what strangers have to say about this. there are other small aspects to the story, but the gist is that he feels that the guy is getting first priority and essentially being more of a boyfriend to her than he is. For now, he believes that she isnt cheating, but insists to her that anyone else that saw this situation would think so. What do you think?