Sooo not happy.....

Discussion in 'Adult League & Tournament Talk' started by PinkTennisNinja, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    So I lost my first USTA match in 3 seasons....And I don't like it. It was a mixed match and we played against a team that I've beaten the girl before so I knew we could take her. HOWEVER my guy counter part fell apart. He couldn't get a serve in he couldn't hit a forehand without hacking at it and he could only lob the backhand. I was clearly the stronger player on the court and I'm the girl (which doesn't normally happen). We went to a tie break in the 1st set and we lost 8-6 because my partner double faulted the last point. Well I assumed we would win the second because I always get better the longer I play, well apparently that wasn't the case for my partner. What do I do with him? He's about 52 yrs old whereas I'm 22 but he's the one who started me on tennis and helped me improve until finally I blew past him. I've told him what he should change because I can now see the flaws in his strokes and technique but he doesn't listen to me. Should I change partners? :cry:
     
    #1
  2. GPB

    GPB Professional

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,187
    Location:
    Jacksonville, FL
    tennis should be about fun. clearly you're having more stress than fun right now...
     
    #2
  3. Kunohara

    Kunohara Professional

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2009
    Messages:
    941
    Location:
    Montreal, Qc
    Play singles.

    That way you can't blame your losses on somebody else.
     
    #3
  4. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2007
    Messages:
    2,713
    YES, if you're cute I'll be your partner. You need a more mature and seasoned partner, not this green youngster, I'm 62. My condolences for your un-timely loss--but in double you do have a partner!
     
    #4
  5. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    I'm just super competitive, I have loads of fun playing tennis....when I'm winning :)
     
    #5
  6. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    I'm not a big fan of singles plus doubles is most of the year anyway. I like playing with a partner so I can work with that person and change up my game to win.
     
    #6
  7. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    "Seasoned"? I like the way you put that haha. And I know I have a partner. I'm a purely doubles player so I know how to move with my partner but I can't play for both of us :)
     
    #7
  8. Kunohara

    Kunohara Professional

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2009
    Messages:
    941
    Location:
    Montreal, Qc
    So then you're going to have to accept the fact that your partner isn't always going to play up to your standards.

    That's the way it is.
     
    #8
  9. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    I know that. And this thread was more or less a rant/help thread. Yeah I wanted to complain a little (I'm a girl that's what we do haha) but I kinda wanted to find out what I should I do in this case. I'm thinking I should just play up always instead of playing at my level.
     
    #9
  10. slick

    slick Rookie

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2007
    Messages:
    161
    Spoiled princess alert.

    Waaaa! I lost my first match in 3 years, waaaaa!
     
    #10
  11. bodieq

    bodieq Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2010
    Messages:
    164
    Your partner probably started his own forum-thread about how you were the weak link, and you were the reason he lost the match, etc., etc.....
     
    #11
  12. michael_1265

    michael_1265 Professional

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    960
    Location:
    Richmond, VA
    If this is the first match you've lost in three years, then you are not playing at level. Move up a level, and rise to the challenge. And learn how to lose gracefully.
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2010
    #12
  13. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    You didn't have to read my post. You didn't have to post anything yourself. Go read a different post if you didn't like mine.
     
    #13
  14. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    Not three years, I've only been playing for 2 yrs. 3 "seasons" = fall combo, spring and mixed. That's really only about 9 months (on and off) and I got bumped up after that first season and I'm playing up now.
     
    #14
  15. raiden031

    raiden031 Legend

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2006
    Messages:
    5,997
    Play your partner in singles, if you win ditch him. If you lose, then figure out what you need to do to be a better partner. :)
     
    #15
  16. LeeD

    LeeD Bionic Poster

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2008
    Messages:
    35,710
    :shock::oops:
    Long ago and far away, I was partnered with a girl who was favored to win the open singles in a local touney. Not my doing, I don't play mixed. We went to the finals, as expected, wherein I got lost in the eyes of the opposing girl. I fell apart, walked about, and we lost straight sets. My partners almost throws her racket at me, and to this day, won't look in my eyes or talk to me.
    I dated my opposition girl for 3 months, found out she was hidden materialistic, and got dumped.
     
    #16
  17. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2006
    Messages:
    3,364
    You lost one match in three seasons??

    Boohoo!!!!

    Yeah it stinks to lose some time, but even Nadal and Federer lose. So it's no big deal. I doubt you'll get alot of sympathy on this point.

    However, I can sympathize with playing with a partner that you feel can't hold up their end. Odds are if the guy is 52 and he taught you tennis and you are now better than he is, I doubt anything you have to say to him is going to boost his game suddenly.

    You may also want to examine your role in the loss as it takes two to tango and the first set was very close (8-6).

    If you don't like the play of your partner, find a new and better partner if your only goal is to win.

    If you don't mind having fun and risking a loss or two while playing with a friend that taught you the game, then pair up for a match every once in a while. There's no rule that you are shackled to play with your friend for life.
     
    #17
  18. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    Wow haha I didn't throw my racquet at him, I didn't even let him or the opposition know I was not happy. I hide my emotions very well. And I still talk to him too, it's not life or death, it's just frustrating.

    What is it about girls being materialistic?? I've actually met quite a few of them haha
     
    #18
  19. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2006
    Messages:
    15,067
    Anyone can have an off day -- even a guy in mixed. When that happens, there is next to nothing you can do. Just try to make sure your own play is as good as you can make it and hope he finds his mojo.

    Trust me, the day will come when you will be having trouble with your mojo and you'll want your partner to be patient.

    (And whatever you do, don't offer this fellow *any* pointers or tips or critiques. This will probably only make him self-conscious or worse.)
     
    #19
  20. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    I'm not exactly shackled but that friend happens to be my dad which means if I switch to a different partner more than likely he will get his feelings hurt. I like his play but he's been slowing down lately and I need him to pull it back together and get with the program haha. I don't need fast or pretty or winners I just need away from the net man and in haha
     
    #20
  21. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    Yeah I know not to give him any tips, he thinks he knows more than me because he's older haha so I did the complete opposite. Whenever he missed a shot (that was just unforced and should've been easy to return) I would say "that was my bad, it's okay, you got this" stuff like that. I was on the wrong end of a blaming situation early on and we lost horribly since that person blatantly blamed me. I felt awful. So I know NEVER to do that to anyone.
     
    #21
  22. beernutz

    beernutz Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2005
    Messages:
    4,400
    Location:
    expanding my Ignore List
    Except on the internets to millions of strangers.
     
    #22
  23. IrishFan

    IrishFan New User

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2009
    Messages:
    21
    Location:
    Mobile AL
    Mixed partners come and mixed partners go but daddies are forever. Suck it up and have fun playing with your dad
     
    #23
  24. OrangeOne

    OrangeOne Legend

    Joined:
    May 31, 2006
    Messages:
    6,297
    I think we have a new record. 14 self-references in one post?
     
    #24
  25. OrangeOne

    OrangeOne Legend

    Joined:
    May 31, 2006
    Messages:
    6,297
    But wait.... the partner you trash talk is your own dad?

    This gets better by the minute.
     
    #25
  26. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2007
    Messages:
    2,713

    Good tennis tale LeeD. I've got a Nike T-shirt that says :"LOVE STINKS", ain't it the troot? Better to have l'oeufed and lost...
     
    #26
  27. OrangeOne

    OrangeOne Legend

    Joined:
    May 31, 2006
    Messages:
    6,297
    [​IMG]
     
    #27
  28. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2006
    Messages:
    15,067
    OK, this *has* to be a troll thread.

    : leaves the room, slams the door :
     
    #28
  29. OrangeOne

    OrangeOne Legend

    Joined:
    May 31, 2006
    Messages:
    6,297
    I really hope it is, anyways!
     
    #29
  30. decades

    decades Guest

    move up and start challenging yourself.
     
    #30
  31. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2006
    Messages:
    3,364
    So your dad only plays tennis with you?

    At 52 years old, I'm sure he's emotionally mature enough to handle his daughter playing tennis with another partner.

    If he cant handle it, then you can always come up with something like. "Hey, the captain wanted to mix things up and suggested I give get in a few matches with "player X." Don't worry, we can still get some matches in, the captain just wants to try some different combos out....

    Otherwise, you're shackled. Maybe it's time to stick to non-mixed dubs.
     
    #31
  32. aceX

    aceX Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    May 14, 2010
    Messages:
    2,906
    Location:
    In position
    That's doubles though. I play much worse when playing doubles because I feel pressure not to screw up.

    You can keep playing with your dad, but you could start playing with your friends (peers) as well. If you don't have tennis-playing friends, teach the friends you do have! Or join a women's only club. Or if you only play together, play for hours until your dad gets tired and say you want to keep playing and start playing with some other people and gradually play more and more with them.
     
    #32
  33. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    Okay I feel like I should justify myself. I wasn't trash talking him I was just telling the blunt truth. He will never see this so it shouldn't matter. Yes I was grumpy after the loss, I'm pretty sure no one on here likes to lose. It's not like I'm going to disown him as a father for not playing well. No one always plays well. Yes I'm going to try to adjust my own game to ensure we get the win next time. And yes I'm sure there will be a next time with him. Oh and I don't know what a "troll" is (if that's some special name for something else) but that's not me.

    And does anyone else want to count how many I's I used in that paragraph?

    :mad:
     
    #33
  34. Kostas

    Kostas Semi-Pro

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2008
    Messages:
    529
    Location:
    Memphis, TN
    Pink,

    Perhaps I can provide some perspective for you as I was at the match and got to see most of it.

    I don't intend this post as an attack but hopefully as you're relatively young in your tennis career it will help open your eyes to some things that maybe you can't see right now.

    Yes, you were the better player on your side of the net, but you were not without your own set of errors and double faults.

    Your monster serve helps you out tons but don't be so quick to ignore the quality of players that your playing against. The guy you were playing against was a very good and athletic 3.5 guy and the girl was equally so but at 2.5.

    You partner may be the weak link but I guarantee you that if you counted the UEs for your side of the net that it wouldn't be as lopsided as your presenting it.

    Doubles is a team effort and sometimes one of you doesn't play as well as the other.

    I understand that you've become spoiled to winning ALL your matches, but as you evolve as a player and especially as an "NTRP" player, you're going to start losing more and more. You're certainly going to get bumped to the next level next spring where the competition will be much more fierce and your relative success will come at a higher price (competitively speaking).

    My basic point is that you are a very good player, but don't be so quick to throw your partner under the bus when you lose. In my opinion, you guys are a good team, but simply lost a close match to a slightly better team.

    That's not grounds for ditching your partner IMO (let alone your dad). :)

    Try to enjoy the rest of the season at your current level because next year will be harder than this one...I guarantee that.
     
    #34
  35. LuckyR

    LuckyR Legend

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2006
    Messages:
    6,404
    Location:
    The Great NW

    No, you should change brackets. If you haven't lost in 3 seasons and you play about 8 matches a season then you have a 1 in 8 million chance of being in the correct bracket.

    Move up.
     
    #35
  36. slewisoh

    slewisoh Semi-Pro

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2006
    Messages:
    468
    So dear old dad spends his free time teaching his daughter to play tennis...over the years, I'm guessing he spends a bundle on lessons, equipment, clothing etc. Also guessing that dad treasures the time he gets to spend with his darling daughter.

    And this is how you thank him?

    Geez, if you talk like this about your own father, I would hate to see how you treat some poor unrelated schmuck who happens to have a bad day. Perhaps your disposition is better suited for singles.

    In all seriousness, be joyful that you have a father who values you and wants to spend time with you. One day he won't be around.
     
    #36
  37. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis

    Ah so you figured out who I am huh? lol yes I'm not saying I didn't have UEs lawd knows I'm only a 3.0 haha and I'm actually really ready to be bumped, I love a challenge and playing up, which I do. This was just a "get it off my chest the day after" thread. Apparently the consensus is to not post that kind of thread lol. And I think it just had a lot to do with keeping the undefeated record, the pressure got to me. I played 7.0 last night and lost but I'm cool with it, I know we played great but lost to a better team :) Now that the pressure is gone I feel SO much better :) Sorry about the way the thread sounded, apparently I sound like a spoiled princess but my that wasn't my intent :(
     
    #37
  38. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis

    I'll just correct you. It's been 3 to 4 yrs that I started playing and he wouldn't play with me until last yr because I wasn't good enough to hit with him. Never bought me anything, started out with a Walmart racquet that I bought myself. And after he divorced my mother when I was 2 he spent maybe a day with me every month (because my mother forced him to) until I started playing tennis at 21, that's when he wanted to "spend time with his darling daughter". However I forgiven him for all this and we moved on. This isn't a website to discuss how I "treat" my dad. Let's just "pretend" he is just a guy that I know fairly well that played with me, K?
     
    #38
  39. slewisoh

    slewisoh Semi-Pro

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2006
    Messages:
    468
    Not K...

    This thread would have taken a completely different path had you simply disclosed up front that you were trying to figure out how to let your dad down gently and move on to more accomplished partners.

    I don't understand why you need to "pretend" he's just a guy - he's not.

    Sorry you didn't have the most wonderful past with him - hope the future is better for you both.
     
    #39
  40. polski

    polski Semi-Pro

    Joined:
    May 27, 2010
    Messages:
    633
    Location:
    Florida
    Ninja, the way league tennis works, you should never be able to win more than 75% of the time. When you do, you get bumped up (theoretically, but not if you only play the weakest players in your rating).

    It sounds to me like you're a border line 3.5. Frankly, you should play 3.5 & try to realize your potential. That, or play with a weaker partner & learn to win or lose close matches.

    Flat out - you need to learn how to lose with grace. Not just for tennis, but in life. No one enjoys a sore loser....that is why you're getting so much flack on this thread.
     
    #40
  41. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    Apparently I didn't word the thread correctly and that's why almost everyone decided to "bash" me. I don't want to let him down gently, I would like to keep him. I like playing with him I just didn't know what to do to help him play better so we had a better chance to win. I'm not without fault either though. I'm not perfect other wise I would be a professional and I'm definitely not. Apparently this thread was best left unsaid.
     
    #41
  42. Kostas

    Kostas Semi-Pro

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2008
    Messages:
    529
    Location:
    Memphis, TN
    Why don't you guys start going to the Monday night clinics at OB? They're only $12 and they can really help players develop some consistency.

    Jay is really nice also:

    MONDAY NIGHT
    OPEN TENNIS CLINICS

    Women 6:00-7:00pm Men 7:00pm-8:00pm

    Olive Branch City Park
    $12 a person each Monday

    You do not have to sign up for these clinics, just show up.

    Clinic Dates:
    June 14
    June 21
    June 28
    July 5
    July 12
    July 19
    July 26
     
    #42
  43. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    I agree. I had trouble finding a 3.5 team in the spring because the area I am in is so close-knit and been together for a while. However I am playing up in the fall. And you might not believe this but I don't come of the court looking like I'm ready to kill someone. During the match I often say "great point" "good serve" etc. and at the end I go up to the net, shake hands, smile (not a fake smile) and say "That was a great match". Often times I am friends (like in this case) with the people we play against since we're basically all from the same area. And I don't hold a win against them or anything. I just came to this website to ask for advice/vent. But rest assure there will be no more venting on here from me :)
     
    #43
  44. slewisoh

    slewisoh Semi-Pro

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2006
    Messages:
    468
    In a forum like this, words are what we rely on. So yes, choice of wording matters. Sorry that I judged your relationship.

    It makes me wonder if you are actually as bad a sore loser as your post suggests...you might want to go back and revisit what you originally wrote.
     
    #44
  45. cghipp

    cghipp Professional

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,282
    News flash: Your dad does know more than you about doubles, even if he had a bad day and even if you're a stronger player than he is now. I would guess that he's been playing tennis about as long as you've been alive - correct? I seriously doubt he really is the weaker player in general. Do not assume that, with your relatively little tennis experience, your dad isn't picking up a lot of your slack, even if you are a good player.

    If you haven't lost a match in three years then he must be playing pretty darn well most of the time. He had a bad day - get over it. I doubt he needs your help unless you're concerned about what was bothering him so much during the match. Could it have been a health concern? Blood sugar level? Heat difficulties? Injury? Did you give any thought to anything other than whether his errors were going to cost you a win?

    Also, if you can't have fun unless you're winning, count yourself lucky that you have a partner at all.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2010
    #45
  46. Kostas

    Kostas Semi-Pro

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2008
    Messages:
    529
    Location:
    Memphis, TN
    Ok guys let's lighten up on her a bit.

    She may have come across in a negative light because of her inital post, but I would guess she was just a little frustrated and want to vent here under the anonymity of the internet even if it was *slighty* ill-concieved.

    For what it's worth, she lost her first match ever the other night and I can attest she did so with the utmost grace and dignity. She was a true good sport and based on all the threads on here complaining about poor sportsmanship from our opponents I would venture a guess that anyone on here would be lucky to have her as an opponent.

    Let's try to scale it back a bit and realize her OP was more out of frustration than anything else.
     
    #46
  47. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2007
    Messages:
    2,713
    Well dealing with families is always weird. The OP said she is venting. When she 'fessed up that it was dear old dad, the thread took a new direction. I would give her the benefit of the doubt since she is being up-front about it, and seems like a nice person, and hopefully cute.

    But, internet is not the best place to open your inner-most feelings to unless you have very thick skin.

    Let's take it a little easier on her, there are few enough chicks here or on the challenge court.
     
    #47
  48. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2007
    Messages:
    2,713
    Kostas, great minds must think alike, I was thinking the same thing.
     
    #48
  49. 10sjunkie

    10sjunkie New User

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2007
    Messages:
    94
    OK, I'm confused. You stated above that you started playing tennis 3-4 years ago and that you started playing at 21. Your original post states that you are 22. The math doesn't work.

    Also, this is 6.0 mixed doubles that you are talking about??? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Wow, I'd hate to be your partner.
     
    #49
  50. PinkTennisNinja

    PinkTennisNinja Rookie

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    217
    Location:
    Memphis
    3-4 yrs ago I started "hitting", last year I started actual league tennis.
     
    #50

Share This Page