1) If lower ranked WTA player happens to win first set, said player shall ALWAYS choke and give away the match, preferably in an extremely shocking fashion. 2) Regardless of ranking between players, any WTA player who is up a break in the final set of a match shall immediately relinquish such advantage, preferably in a startling flurry of double-faults and unforced errors, with higher ranked player inevitably prevailing in a long, drawn out set or tiebreak instead. 3) One, if not both, WTA players shall need to be suffering from extreme internal emotional issues and/or confidence issues relating to their serve and/or ball toss. 4) Handshakes, no matter the outcome, quality or length of a match, must be performed with the LEAST sincerity possible. Hands shall not touch for less than .5 second and hands must be held out as limply as possible, as to resemble a wet dishrag. Eye contact during handshake is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.* *Exception: French players may do whatever they want, including kissing etc during handshake, because they are French. 5) Punch-volleys are strictly prohibited in any situation. All volleys, regardless of difficulty or proximity to the net, shall be swung at with equal or greater force than a groundstroke from ten feet behind the baseline. Swinging volleys shall be hit as close to the line as possible, especially on game or match points. 6) Grunting: Grunting will be BANNED by Dec. 1st, 2009. Players must be upgraded to either shrieking or full-out screaming status by this date or face strict WTA sanctions.