talking the talk

Discussion in 'Adult League & Tournament Talk' started by jc4.0, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. jc4.0

    jc4.0 Professional

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    I play partners sometimes on my team with a woman who will simply not shut up. I can deal with her when we're playing a "friendly" match but when I'm really trying to win in a league match, her constant jabbering destroys my zen-like mental state. I won't even discuss strategy with her, as that sets off a long, rambling speech (she doesn't actually listen, she just talks). I generally tell her before the first game that I will not be talking during the match, but I'm sure that seems rude. On the other hand, if I completely ignore her (an almost impossible task) I seem like a jerk anyway.

    By the way she's a good player, and we've actually won several times together so this has nothing to do with her tennis ability. My question is can you tell someone to please stop talking without being an a-hole?
     
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  2. Kostas

    Kostas Semi-Pro

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    #2
  3. raiden031

    raiden031 Legend

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    Sure you can. The most polite way to put it is to simply say that you can't focus too much on conversation because it will make you unfocused on play (even if thats a complete lie). So that way its not that she's annoying you, but that you can't handle conversation because of your own mental weakness.

    The reality though is that some people might be offended no matter how polite you are. Thats their problem really.
     
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  4. ALten1

    ALten1 Rookie

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    Grab her butt.......that should put her into shock for at least half the match. If she calls later on that night, you don't know me.
     
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  5. Ripper014

    Ripper014 Hall of Fame

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    Or you can thank him.
     
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  6. fuzz nation

    fuzz nation Legend

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    Hmm... Didn't go that way myself right off the bat, but if you really need to get her attention...

    Just be ready for some consequences. That's not a bell you can un-ring!
     
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  7. abbeytxs

    abbeytxs New User

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    If you weren't if FL, I would assume you are talking about me! I am a talker on the court. Talking keeps me out of my head, and I play much better if I think much less. However, I always tell any new partner that I have that if my talking bothers them, tell me to shut up. I am serious when I say it.
    I am aware that everyone has a different mental game. Some need to be "zen-like", some need to chatter incessantly.

    Your best bet is to approach your partner before the match starts and tell her as politely as you can that the talking distracts you. Reassure her that you still want to partner with her, you just feel you can concentrate better if she talks less. My guess is that if she is a strong 3.5 or a 4.0, she has been around long enough not to get her feelings hurt over your request. I doubt you will be the first person to ever say something to her.

    Good luck.
     
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  8. Steady Eddy

    Steady Eddy Hall of Fame

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    If I was an advice columnist I'd say how you can tell her you don't want her to talk so much and at the same time avoid making her angry and telling the others how mean you are. But, since I'm not a columnist I'll tell you the truth, instead. There's not a third way out of this. If you tell her to STFU, (and that's how it will come across no matter how much you try to sugar coat it), it could give you problems even with other players. If she's your partner, you'll have to learn to live with it. I've gotten good at rifling through my bag until someone I want to partner with shows up.
     
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  9. Annika

    Annika Semi-Pro

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    Put you fingers across your lips and say: SSSHHHHH please; thank you. :)
     
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  10. Spokewench

    Spokewench Semi-Pro

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    I have the same issue; really don't like to play with really talky women. I am a woman. I can handle some talking about strategy, a little relief of the stress moment talking, but non-stop streams about the technical reason they missed the last shot, how the weather has been this week; what eyeshadow they bought last week, is just too much for me to take.

    I usually try to be as polite as I can; but when I start to lose my level of concentration and start to hit badly, I have been known to say, you know, I really can't play tennis and talk constantly so can we talk a little less and play tennis a little more? So far, it has worked and I haven't run off my partners.

    spoke
     
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  11. Ripper014

    Ripper014 Hall of Fame

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    Talking during a match does not really affect me... I have always found that if it is bothering me I am not focusing enough on my own game. The thing that does bother me is if my partner start saying things that would disrepect my opponents...
     
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  12. ALten1

    ALten1 Rookie

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    or put your fingers across her lips and say, "Shut up, just shut up. You had me at Hello."
     
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  13. precision2b

    precision2b Semi-Pro

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    Now that I have picked my self off the floor from laughing so hard I will say that was the best one I have read in sometime…
     
    #13
  14. jc4.0

    jc4.0 Professional

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    talk bombs

    Most people I play with know that I'm not a talker during tennis. I hate to say it but I find that women tend to prattle on much more than men between games and sets, talking about personal stuff like kids, men, health, hobbies etc. I tend to just go over to the fence and stretch, get some extra water etc. Those who know me, understand this. This woman however has some kind of mental illness where she continues to constantly talk, whether you are engaged in the conversation or not. She doesn't care if you respond to her or not, she's not listening anyway. But she can hit a mean volley, so I'll find a way to screen out her mouth, on those days I play partners with her. Maybe I can find a way to get her to aim her talk-bomb at our opponents, and throw them off their games a bit...
     
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  15. This would be my advice also, of course that might send her into permanent shock- but at least she most likely will shut up:)
     
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  16. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    I know this will likely come as a surprise to you all, but I talk waaaay too much on a tennis court.

    I don't do it when I am playing well or winning. When I am messing up, however, I cannot shut my pie hole. Just can't do it.

    I supply a constant stream of negative remarks between points, apologies to my partner, promises that I will do better, explanations for why I missed. I know it is annoying and I am trying to stop. So far, no real progress. The best I can do is stay far away from her and berate myself under my breath.
     
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  17. goran_ace

    goran_ace Hall of Fame

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    My wife talks a lot during points in mixed doubles - 'Yours!'
     
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  18. slice bh compliment

    slice bh compliment G.O.A.T.

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    Man, that was hilarious. I'll never actually do it, but it's hilarious.

    Yes it is:

    "Oh, that? I was just kidding"

    ''That was to help you stay focused.''

    ''Yeah, that was then, and this is now. Now I have chronic chicken pox, but only in my pants.''

    ''A real date, like romantic and shtuff? Sure, as long as you don't mind if I bring along my action figures and if our date is at McDonald's playing Halo 7 on my AfricanAmericanBerry.''
     
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  19. West Coast Ace

    West Coast Ace G.O.A.T.

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    I'm sure the fact that you made that post - and right now I see that you have exactly 69 posts - are completely coincidental...
     
    #19
  20. West Coast Ace

    West Coast Ace G.O.A.T.

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    You forgot to say "then duck!"

    Yeah that will work with the 'fairer' gender. Cat herding, anyone? :)
     
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