The question to members over 40.

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by Aykhan Mammadov, Dec 2, 2005.

  1. Aykhan Mammadov

    Aykhan Mammadov Hall of Fame

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    While u are child everything seems to u very colourfull as in a tale. While u are young at 20-th everything is also wonderful. From 30-th things become more greyish, that is this question is not for young members.

    How do u fill yr life except u have some work, some responsibilties in yr family, u are earning money, playing tennis, participating in the forum. Are u joyous, happy most of the time or sometimes ?
     
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  2. raftermania

    raftermania Banned

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    HA *midlife crisis* CHOOO
     
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  3. atatu

    atatu Hall of Fame

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    Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I'm so busy raising my kids, working and trying to keep my marriage together that I don't have a lot of time to worry about intellectual stimulation or being joyous. At this point if I can play tennis once a week I'm pretty happy.
     
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  4. legolas

    legolas Banned

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    hmm, i just turnded 19 too, and i dont liek getting older, but hey, either i live it off happily or sadly
     
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  5. Aykhan Mammadov

    Aykhan Mammadov Hall of Fame

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    atatu, I have a few questions to u:

    1. At what age did u marry ?

    2.Are u American from birth or u moved to USA?

    I see u can find more time to play tennis because u have time to write at the forum.
     
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  6. atatu

    atatu Hall of Fame

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    Got married at age 31, kids at age 37. American by birth, but I grew up overseas, never really lived in the states "permanently" until college. I write on the forum late at night, when the family is asleep or at work I take a break once or twice a day.
     
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  7. cak

    cak Professional

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    In my opinion, this is the best time of life. Your career has settled (okay, I'm retired, but most folks I know have either settled into the career they have or have made enough to embark on entirely new careers.) Your kids are big enough to not need constant attention, and their accomplishments are fun to follow, they are turning into their own people. Most folks have have been married around 20 years. They've gotten past the problems and are into the comfortable easy partnerships. Since the kids are bigger their is more time to do thing together just the two of you. You have time for tennis and other athletic pursuits, with generally the health to enjoy them. Yeah, life is great right now.
     
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  8. Aykhan Mammadov

    Aykhan Mammadov Hall of Fame

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    atatu, do u have a duty to play with kids after yr work ? It is probably main reason why u are not free after yr work. BTW when yr work is finishing in the evening?
     
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  9. bluegrasser

    bluegrasser Hall of Fame

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    Heck at 51 I'd say life is still good, still play tennis, play a little music, the drives are still there :) like to go out still, the big difference is the body doesn't recover as quickly, more aches and pains.
     
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  10. tennis-n-sc

    tennis-n-sc Professional

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    I have retired from one career and embarked on a totally unrelated second career which I find fascinating. I have just entered my 60th year and my life is far better than I could ever have imagined. I am at peace with myself, my mistakes and my good deeds, if any. I truly appreciate my friendships and relationships today. I am in touch with my insignificance yet realize I can make my environment a little better because I passed this way. I am healthy, as far as I know, and still have as much mind as I ever had. For all this I am grateful because I poisoned my body with drugs, alcohol, smoke and reckless and dangerous living. I am very fortunante. God has always put the right people in my life to help when they were most needed. Most of time I never thanked them. I do today. Having said all that, my backhand still sucks. It sucks so badly I want to wander the land and change my name to Grasshopper.
     
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  11. Geppetto

    Geppetto New User

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    Interesting topic & posts. Married, two sons aged 15 and 12, two Pugs, a huge ill-tempered tabby cat and 5 guitars. Staff engineer in a high-tech (read: high-stress) firm, been at it for about 24 years. Do I like my career? Not particularly, but I'm pretty well stuck with it for better or worse, and it does pay the bills and allows me to afford the guitars. Thank God (and Leo and Les) for electric guitars. And a guitar-tolerant wife. Guitar is my no. 1 passion and provides much-needed balance to the tech career. Am the black sheep of a tennis playing family (my father still plays almost daily at age 75), and am one of those who basically stopped playing competitively in the mid 80's and not at all between 1994 and 2004.
    Got back into it with a vengeance in the summer of 2004, but have been sidelined since October with TE (too many late backhands against hard hitters, using a stock 300G strung at 62 lbs with multi; TE is mostly gone now, and I really like my new PK 5G though I've played only sparingly since it arrived).
     
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  12. atatu

    atatu Hall of Fame

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    Hey Gepetto, do you play in any local bands ?
     
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  13. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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    The key to an enjoyable and stimulating life, I believe, is to constantly find new things to discover and new challenges. Of course, this is easier said than done. We gravitate towards those things which naturally attract us - and by age 30 or so, there are fewer and fewer such things that we've not already explored. There is more and more 'deja vu' with increasing age, and so it naturally follows that there is less discovery and less challenge. With less discovery and challenge, there is less anticipation, and less interest in things, as more and more things have already been explored.

    I suppose the ultimate challenge is to continue to find challenge throughout one's existence.
     
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  14. Yours!05

    Yours!05 Professional

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    A moving thoughtful reflection tennis-n-sc.
     
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  15. Kaptain Karl

    Kaptain Karl Hall Of Fame

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    I am fulfilled ... and still finding fulfilling challenges in my life. I have joy which is rooted in my faith. (My past is forgiven. My present is covered by Christ. My eternal future is assured. How can I not respond with gratitude and joy in all aspects of my life?)

    In my business, I help employers screen, select and develop top performing people. To do this, I use a family of eleven different online occupational assessments, in which I am expert....

    One of the 20 characteristics measured with my "whole person profile" is labeled "Attitude," but it is better described as "Outlook". (I score a 9-of-10 on this scale, which says I am very much one who "sees the silver lining; not the cloud.)

    The prime example of a "10" on Outlook was Edison. One night he was working in his lab -- where all his experiments, notes and records were kept -- and accidentally started a fast-spreading fire. Instead of crying "Why me?" Thomas Edison ran into his house and woke his wife and kids. He exclaimed (something like) "Come outside quickly. You're never going to see another fire like this one...!"


    Cultivating an attitude like Edison's is a worthy endeavor, in my opinion. I wish you a similar sense of joy and fulfillment, Aykhan.

    - KK
     
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  16. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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    "I have not failed 10,000 times. I have successfully demonstrated 10,000 ways which do not work." ~ Thomas Edison.
     
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  17. munk3y

    munk3y Rookie

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    ....i feel so young now
     
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  18. Kaptain Karl

    Kaptain Karl Hall Of Fame

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    Yes! This is just what I mean.

    Tom said the above when -- this is what gets me -- he was searching for just the right substance to use as a filament in the incandescent light bulb he already knew he was making. (I thought most "inventions" were really accidents-on-the-way- to- making-something-else.)

    - KK
     
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  19. Geppetto

    Geppetto New User

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    Unfortunately, no (probably the reason I'm still married :). I tend to improvise for hours on end at "house-tolerable" volumes, using a Yamaha sequencer and a pair of monitors for backup rhythm tracks, working to improve tone, technique, etc. Have long since gotten away from covering existing music, but I love listening to EJ's CD's, which I find inspiring. Have been attempting to work out some original stuff, but tend to get frustrated, distracted, impatient, etc. and never seem to complete anything coherent. Somewhat analogous to the way I approach tennis - more of a "rallyer" than a "gamer."
     
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  20. FedererUberAlles

    FedererUberAlles Professional

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    maybe they're nihilists...
     
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  21. Kaptain Karl

    Kaptain Karl Hall Of Fame

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    Aykhan - Where are you? Your first posts reminded me of Schopenhauer.

    Arthur Schopenhauer: (1788-1860).

    Schopenhauer was, as a philosopher, a pessimist; he was a follower of Kant's Idealist school.

    <snip>

    Schopenhauer saw the worst in life and as a result he was dour and glum. Believing that he had no individual will, man was therefore at the complete mercy of all that which is about him. Now, whether his pessimism turned him into an ugly person, or whether its just a case of an ugly person adopting the philosophy of pessimism; -- I have no idea. But what I do know is that Schopenhauer had nobody he could call family. "His pessimism so affected his mother's social guests, who would disperse after his lengthy discourse on the uselessness of everything, that she finally forbade him her home. He parted from her, never to see her again."

    <snip>

    To Schopenhauer life was a painful process.... Presumably any little bits of happiness we might snatch would only make us that more miserable, such real and full happiness was not possible, "a Utopian Ideal which we must not entertain even in our dreams." It is not difficult to understand that this "ascetic mysticism" of Schopenhauer's is one that appeals to the starving artist.

    Schopenhauer was "a lonely, violent and unbefriended man....


    - KK
     
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  22. FedererUberAlles

    FedererUberAlles Professional

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    Schopenhauer was rather pathetic.
     
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  23. Aykhan Mammadov

    Aykhan Mammadov Hall of Fame

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    KK, time from time I become really pessimistic, it happens with me. When u recall times during secondary school, then university and etc... u start to understand that those times were best in yr life. No responsibilities, everything is in colour, bright, u are free. But in my 40 days go one by one, weeks are passing so fast, every day is almost similar to other day.

    My business which I hate and do just for the money, my son, tennis, a few good programs by TV, sometimes good wine in restaurant or at hme. That is all.

    By the way I respect Shopenghauer .
     
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  24. Kaptain Karl

    Kaptain Karl Hall Of Fame

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    Aykhan - Unfortunately, you are "in good company." Something like 75% of people hate their work. (And almost 80% of managers can't stand their people.)

    I realize I am really blessed in the area of work. I *love* what I do ... and people pay me for it. (How cool is that?!!)

    Do you have any opportunities to change jobs?

    - KK
     
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  25. Kaptain Karl

    Kaptain Karl Hall Of Fame

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    I *hope* you intended that to be funny ... because it cracked me up! I'm really struggling to type this. I keep snorting out laughter.

    [Tears...] Oh that was the post of the week. I gotta go now....

    - KK
     
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  26. bluegrasser

    bluegrasser Hall of Fame

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    Aykhan - just enjoy the small things in life, like that glass of wine, and the joy of playing tennis, like Neal Young said: " don't let it get you down, it's only castles burning."
     
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  27. Aykhan Mammadov

    Aykhan Mammadov Hall of Fame

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    Not really, this is family business of 3 brothers, I can't change it, it brings good money ( at least in Azerbaijan scale ). In the end every this kind job earlier or later becomes very primitive and starts annoy me. I have more creative nature, I'm former scientist and gave up it because it didn't give money in my country.
     
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  28. Tenny

    Tenny Professional

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    Aykhan,

    It seems you have a good life. Or maybe we all have. A couple weeks ago, I learned one of my relatives has a serious illness. He's got only a couple years left. And he is only 43 or something. I myself have been having a hard time after I heard that. Couldn't work, eat, sleep well. I feel like someone ripped off my heart. What can we do... You and I should look at what we have in our hands and SHOULD try to appreciate our lives, Aykhan. I think you and I are really happy dudes...
     
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  29. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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    That's it, kid... keep milking the role of 'poor victim'...
    I think you milked it for all it was worth quite a number of posts ago, though. The rest is simply overkill.

    You 'apologize', and then you pick up right where you left off.

    Karl - you're right on both counts. There are some things, however, that I simply do not tolerate. Sorry for contributing to the messing up of the thread nonetheless.
     
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  30. FedererUberAlles

    FedererUberAlles Professional

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    I'm sorry some teacher told you Schopenhauer was the best philosopher to exist, and you feel you have to agree with them. Schopenhauer was a good philosopher, but not as glorious as you think.
     
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  31. Kaptain Karl

    Kaptain Karl Hall Of Fame

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    FedererUberAlles - No! No! You misunderstand me. I laughed so much at you calling him "pathetic" because your assessment of him was ... such an understatement. (I truly thought you were being clever ... subtle ... ironic.)

    Schopenhauer was a miserable, crybaby, pessimistic, fatalistic guy who could ruin the best party in the world. I agree. He was VERY pathetic.

    - KK
     
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  32. FedererUberAlles

    FedererUberAlles Professional

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    Well, in regards to his ability to promote Nihilistic philosophy, he was miserable. Most philosophers are miserable people, so he is no different from the general populace of philosophers.
     
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