Top Ten Things You Should Know about Rafael Nadal

Discussion in 'General Pro Player Discussion' started by Subventricular Zone, Apr 27, 2011.

  1. Subventricular Zone

    Subventricular Zone Rookie

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    Top Ten Things You Should Know about Rafael Nadal

    Rafael Nadal (ESP) according to (some) TW posters:

    1. A talentless pusher/grinder/moonballer who will never win…
    a. outside RG
    b. Wimbledon
    c. a hard court slam
    d. the US Open
    e. another slam

    2. Who should never have won/should not have been good enough/was extremely lucky to win Wimbledon, AO, USO and does not deserve Career Grand Slam

    3. Whose knees are so banged up he is sure to play wheelchair tennis in the next few years but when he is injured he is faking

    4. Who only wins because
    a. Of brute force
    b. He is doping
    c. The surfaces have slowed down
    d. Uncle Toni shouts/gestures/winks game plans on how to beat opponents from the stands
    e. He makes the opponents wait during the coin toss
    f. He only waits for his opponents’ mistakes
    g. Uncle Toni hypnotizes his opponents to make mistakes
    h. His mental strength causes opponents to make mistakes
    i. He gives opponents the “evil look”
    j. He bores his opponents to death
    k. His opponents choke
    l. He gets cupcake draws

    5. Who has
    a. A worthless serve
    b. A Crappy backhand
    c. An ugly forehand that does nothing but go crosscourt
    d. Nil volleying skills
    e. A barbaric style of play that is destroying the elegant/balletic/aesthetic “sport” that is tennis

    6. Who has a winning record against the Top Ten because
    a. He’s a lefty
    b. He unfairly exploits Player X’s backhand (which makes him a coward)
    c. Player X does not serve well/does not convert breakpoints/has a mental block/chokes/plays horrendous whenever he plays him
    d. He wins on clay and clay is not a legitimate surface and any clay match on record should be thrown out
    e. Also see #4

    7. Will achieve ZERO/nada if he were
    a. not a lefty
    b. not using modern rackets unlike other great players
    c. were playing in a different generation
    d. were not playing in a weak era

    8. Who, if he is magically transported back in time, will get creamed by the greats of the yesteryears if /once
    a. they play on any surface
    b. he plays using wooden rackets
    c. his unconventional technique, which he won’t be able to adapt to existing conditions, will get exposed

    9. Who is
    a. A Hard court mug
    b. A Player who just happens to play his best on a 2nd rate surface that no one cares about
    c. Is clueless on surfaces outside the terra bateau

    10. Who annoys the **** out of classy, well-mannered tennis fans because he
    a. Is such a boring player that he drives/forces poor tennis fans to paint their walls/furniture/cars/dogs and watching paint dry
    b. Plays unconventional tennis unlike 99.99% of the ATP tour
    c. Bites trophies
    d. Does not speak English (what third language?) like the Queen of England
    e. Says the same boring things during press conferences
    f. Says “no” at the end of each sentence
    g. Says “every match is gonna be very difficult, no?”
    h. Wears a half-a-million $ watch while other players only wear a Rolex and feed the hungry in Africa

    Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!?!?

    Sure doesn’t sound like this guy:

    Rafael Nadal (ESP) according to ATPworldtour.com

    1. 9 Majors (4 clay, 2 grass, 2 HC)
    2. Career Grand Slam (5 RG, 2 Wimbledon, 1 AO, 1 USO)
    3. Simultaneous holder of Grand Slams on Hard, Grass, Clay (2008-2009, 2010)
    4. Olympic Gold Medal (Singles)
    5. Record 19 ATP masters 1000
    6. Record 81-match winning streak on a single surface
    7. 45 career titles (82.64% career win-loss record)
    8. World Number 1 (94 wks)
    9. 15-8 H-H record against the putative GOAT (10-2 clay; 5-6 non-clay)
    10. 24 years, 10 months

    I’m sure Federer, Roddick, Hewitt, Safin, Djokovic, Murray, etc. also get their own share of criticism and low blows but just reading posts even on the first page, Nadal hands down is the most abused of all.

    Obviously, I’m sure not sorry for Nadal coz he’s a very successful millionaire athlete who is already a legend at age 24 and has had one hell of a career one can only dream about. He may not be as articulate as some make him out to be, but he sure does let his racket do the talking. C’est la vie. :lol:
     
    #1
  2. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    You forgot his butt picking
     
    #2
  3. heftylefty

    heftylefty Hall of Fame

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    But tell us how what's really on your mind.

    Welcome to the Board, Rook.
     
    #3
  4. TennisFan3

    TennisFan3 Legend

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    Brilliant! Possibly the best first post I've ever seen on this forum.

    Welcome and keep it up!
     
    #4
  5. Gorecki

    Gorecki G.O.A.T.

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    ok, time to post cats & trains!!!
     
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  6. single_handed_champion

    single_handed_champion Professional

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    Too much redundancy. Can sum it all up in a word: mug.
     
    #6
  7. tennis_pro

    tennis_pro G.O.A.T.

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    Booooriiinnnggg
     
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  8. vive le beau jeu !

    vive le beau jeu ! G.O.A.T.

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    oh... a new user ! :)
    aussitot dit... aussitot fait ! ;)

    [​IMG]
     
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  9. Gorecki

    Gorecki G.O.A.T.

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    [​IMG]

    and nadal is also a very humble player and people dislike im because he eats bananas
     
    #9
  10. vive le beau jeu !

    vive le beau jeu ! G.O.A.T.

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    ... which is an scandal !

    [​IMG]
     
    #10
  11. bolo

    bolo G.O.A.T.

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    "evil look", lol. :)
     
    #11
  12. Tennis_Monk

    Tennis_Monk Hall of Fame

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    Ways one can waste their time.....
     
    #12
  13. miyagi

    miyagi Professional

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    LOL! Great post :)
     
    #13
  14. babbette

    babbette Legend

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    This looks fun. saving it to read later.
     
    #14
  15. phnx90

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    Also, you forgot that his clay game apparently is worse than watching paint dry.

    YOU FORGOT "WATCHING PAINT DRY"!!!!!!
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2011
    #15
  16. Omega_7000

    Omega_7000 Hall of Fame

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    Booooring! Stopped reading after the first three lines. :D

    [​IMG]
     
    #16
  17. Devilito

    Devilito Hall of Fame

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    OP, is this you?
    [​IMG]
     
    #17
  18. Lsmkenpo

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    You forgot to mention his favorite car is a KIA.

    He lives at home with his mom and dad.

    His favorite past time is helping little old ladies cross the street.
     
    #18
  19. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    welcome back, Nadal_freak. Don't let the trolls discourage you from starting wonderful threads such as this.
     
    #19
  20. TheTruth

    TheTruth G.O.A.T.

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    Totally awesome post.
     
    #20
  21. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    11. He only loses when:

    a. tired
    b. exhausted
    c. injured
    d. goldfish
    e. banana
    f. baby Nadal
    g. high altitude
    h. fast court
    i. no wind
    j. injured
    k. davydenko
    l. murray
    m. brutal draw
    n. Đoković
     
    #21
  22. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    He lives at home with his mom and dad.

    *cough*

    "Little" old ladies - that cracked me up.
     
    #22
  23. Nadalfan89

    Nadalfan89 Hall of Fame

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    You forgot the part where he's the biggest cheater in the history of the game because he takes 20 seconds to serve.
     
    #23
  24. Omega_7000

    Omega_7000 Hall of Fame

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    Good point. I would also add he gets illegal coaching from his uncle during matches and takes MTO's, pretends to be injured when he starts to lose.
     
    #24
  25. MichaelNadal

    MichaelNadal Talk Tennis Guru

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    Most definitely, it gets ridiculous sometimes.
     
    #25
  26. Omega_7000

    Omega_7000 Hall of Fame

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    [​IMG] [​IMG][​IMG]
     
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  27. MichaelNadal

    MichaelNadal Talk Tennis Guru

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    #27
  28. aphex

    aphex Banned

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  29. nadalbestclass

    nadalbestclass Hall of Fame

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    hahaha. Awesome post overall, but these are my all times favs as well.
     
    #29
  30. Hitman

    Hitman G.O.A.T.

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    Looks like he missed a few things off then...

    here is a few
    o. wisdom tooth
    p. divorce
    q. blister
    r. schedule
    s. a complex combination of all the above
     
    #30
  31. MichaelNadal

    MichaelNadal Talk Tennis Guru

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    Lmao :) I was gonna say divorce too.
     
    #31
  32. Hitman

    Hitman G.O.A.T.

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    Did you get a chance to see Fast and Furious 5 yet? The Rock is pure dynamite in that movie!
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2011
    #32
  33. sixone90

    sixone90 Professional

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    I think you mean Aston Martin!

    [​IMG]
     
    #33
  34. CMM

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    [​IMG]
     
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  35. jerriy

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    LMAO!

    That one line trumps the OP's long list of things.
     
    #35
  36. jerriy

    jerriy Hall of Fame

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    Oh and one more thing: Nadal is a Real-Madrid ****.

    That is an unforgivable crime against tardity

    *Biba Bartha*
    .
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2011
    #36
  37. namelessone

    namelessone Legend

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    Let's all becoming Barcelona fans, no?

    Even worse, he is a Madrid **** while having an uncle who played for Barcelona.

    Rebellion perhaps?
     
    #37
  38. junk

    junk Rookie

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    this is actually pretty funny - great job OP!
     
    #38
  39. TheBoom

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    Don't sugar coat it tell us what you really think lol :)
     
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  40. Breaker

    Breaker Legend

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    Also he's from Mallorca who already have a football club. Add glory hunter to that list OP.
     
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  41. tlm

    tlm Legend

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    One of the best posts of all time, your examples you listed have been used so many times here by the haters. You would think after these guys have to eat their words so many times they would quit, but they are so ignorant with so much hatred that they just keep making their foolish statements.
     
    #41
  42. ivan_the_terrible

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    OP, I didn't see any mention of him being accused of using PEDS in your top 10. *******s always seem to imply this in their rantings to diminish Rafa's legendary status.

    Heck even an accomplished fan like Sureshs blatantly states it in numerous posts.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2011
    #42
  43. Mustard

    Mustard Talk Tennis Guru

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    Epic post :D:twisted:
     
    #43
  44. ksbh

    ksbh Banned

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    Herr Sentinel, it has also been shown that he can get quite demoralised and lose when he hasn't watched a Sunny Deol movie for a while :)

     
    #44
  45. Photoshop

    Photoshop Professional

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    Nice thread, OP. I'll sum it up with one pic.


    [​IMG]
     
    #45
  46. Kunohara

    Kunohara Professional

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    Nice maths, genius.

    :)
     
    #46
  47. DjokerIsTheBest

    DjokerIsTheBest Banned

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    Don't forget he only loses when he's injured.
     
    #47
  48. Wilander Fan

    Wilander Fan Hall of Fame

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    I thought this was a list of little known trivia about Nadal like:

    1. Naturally a right handed player but was encouraged to switch to lefty by his coach after he noticed his left fingers were slightly longer than his right hand due to a bowling accident.

    2. As a junior, he was given the nickname "nails" by his English peers, as in "Nails Nadal" because of his tough playing style. He dropped it before turning pro because Spanish press mistranslated and started referring to him as the "una del pie".

    3. Favorite color is orange, followed by blue.

    4. Is actually from an island off the coast of Spain called Majorca, a region well known for producing world class bowlers. In addition to Spanish, Nadal speaks fluent Majorcan and Minorcan. "Nadal" in Majorcan translates roughly into "peanut-butter".

    5. In addition to tennis, Nadal was a highly regarded bowler with ambitions of turning pro until injuring his right ring finger in an amateur tournament. Rumors still exist that his finger is a prosthetic.

    6. Flies economy class unless he has enough miles to upgrade.

    7. Appears to be playing with an aero pro drive GT cortex but, according to stringers, the racket is actually a paint job of a customized rossignol f200.

    8. Nadal has many unusual rituals during matches such as arranging water bottles in rows which likely originates from his early bowling training in the slums of Majorca where players were required to reset their pins by hand due to the poor facilities.
     
    #48
  49. reversef

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    OP,
    Brilliant post. :)
     
    #49
  50. Dilettante

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    Great resume, OP.
     
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