Useless information thread

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by forzainter, Oct 17, 2007.

  1. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    The guy in the hammock seems remarkably relaxed to be so dangerously close to the potential disasters that follow @SoBad around like puppies seeking a milking teat from their litterbiotch.:eek:
     
  2. SoBad

    SoBad G.O.A.T.

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    I am an ordinary man exhausted by mineral water.
     
  3. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Add some selenium so you can keep us amused with your fish tales!:cool:
     
  4. SoBad

    SoBad G.O.A.T.

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    I am worried about my health. I am concerned that I might be suffering from a salmon caviar deficiency syndrome.
     
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  5. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Putin demoted you from his inner circle??? Whisper in Sobkin's ear, who will then whisper in Safin's ear and good things will happen for you.:cool:
     
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  6. SoBad

    SoBad G.O.A.T.

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    Astute analysis does not require intimate connection to the greatest statesmen, coaches, or players. Fine food and personal comfort, on the other hand, are some of the essential elements that need to come together to support intellectual excellence.
     
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  7. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Putin on the Ritz lifestyle is a luxury struggling tennis journos can find some comfort in to ease the dull aching pain of their normal poverty.
     
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  8. Mike Bulgakov

    Mike Bulgakov Hall of Fame

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    Lucie was banned from her hockey league for excessive czeching. She really enjoyed knocking down her opponents.
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
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  9. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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  10. Mike Bulgakov

    Mike Bulgakov Hall of Fame

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    On a cold, windy, late winter Amsterdam evening, a crow once crapped on my head. I was taking a stroll while waiting for a train to Paris, and a giant, wet crow's turd on my head was not what I needed. I probably pissed it off earlier in a drunken stupor, and it remembered me. Marloes Horst would have never done that.
     
  11. Vcore89

    Vcore89 Hall of Fame

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    She wasn't chess buddies with Anatoly and Gary but instead elected to hang with her czechmates?;)
     
  12. Vcore89

    Vcore89 Hall of Fame

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    In some culture, being crapped by a crow, a pigeon or any other birds of flight is a sign of good luck and/or bad luck. So I guess, it really depends where it happened [Paris]. Anyhow, were you lucky or just the same after the turd drop? Oh, btw, in order to be lucky, one has got to wear the ''turd on head'' for a day!:D
     
  13. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    If being crapped on is someone's idea of luck, I'll pass :D


    (Unless it happens in the Vortex, where it's just a regular day, nothing unusual. )
     
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  14. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Yes, it has been unusually crappy around here lately, thanks much to ado about The Big Nothing and his new master, The Big Ego.:eek:
     
  15. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Being gassed and crapped upon is no way to go thru life :(
    Unless you are toughening yourself for the IronMan Poobathlon :D
     
  16. Vcore89

    Vcore89 Hall of Fame

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    Poobah crapathon is the order of the hour, day, week, month and year here at the Vortex.:D

    Unlike proclaiming nonsense such as knowing the month and year [delimiting exact hour and day] of end times.;)
     
  17. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    Extreme fecal sports?

    [​IMG]
     
  18. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    I got drunk in public and was coerced by a honeymooning Irish couple to sing backup karaoke for them...American Pie by Don McLean was their choice of tunes. I was not drinking whiskey and rye but the levee was dry.

    I was planning on doing We've Got Tonight solo, in honor of the Ray Donovan $3million discount he received for grabbing the microphone in last week's episode.
     
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  19. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    When given to choose between being crapped on and Marloes Horst, 99 out of 100 men would choose Marloes Horst. Then again, who am I to judge how BottomBoy (I mean Bartleby) chooses to spend his free time.

    [​IMG]
     
  20. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    What????? No Danny Boy????????
     
  21. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    Where I live there are tons of crows. I mean tons. One day as I came out from Safeway after shopping, I opened a Ritz crackers box to have a few, and crows started to group around my car, so I started throwing Ritz crackers and observing the crows' behavior. One or two crows were always the dominant ones (Alpha Crows?) and made sure to assert their dominance aggressively and loudly.
    If some of the other crows got a cracker, usually they would fly away with the loot to enjoy a peaceful meal, I suppose.

    There was this crow which learnt how to double-stack the crackers, so he never just got one cracker, but two, before flying away.

    And some crows apparently were full, but they would still get the crackers, and sometimes would hide them in the corner of a tree pot under some branches or leaves.

    Pretty smart animals, so I'm not surprised they can remember people.

    They outsmarted me out of most of my Ritz crackers that day, those vermin. :mad:

    ;)
     
  22. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Did one of them seem fatter and wore little pink wing bands and talon covers???

    If so, I'm betting he was the one that mastered double stacking.:p:D
     
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  23. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    I was just alerted on Twitter that I should follow another member named Bangkok Bacon. Is that you @r2473 ???

    What were you doing One Night In Bangkok ???
     
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  24. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    Once upon a midnight dreary,
    while I was flatulent and leary
    of the crow who triple-stacked the Ritzs,
    I went out to take a p.iss,

    when a tree from whence the beast stood,
    released a substance that impaired my mood.
    Twas dark and overweight, with eyes that smouldered,
    and it did the double-squat as it crapped on my shoulder.

    Alas!, I cried, why must thou my soul torment
    with thy dreadful excrement!
    Tis Okay, I figured later. Just a beastly ploy.
    Was pissed, but now... I'll crap on BottomBoy.

    ;)
     
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  25. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    Why do you carry around your mineral water, good sir? Haven't you heard of the wheelbarrow? Any gentleman of good standing must carry his mineral water around these days in a personalized wheelbarrow. That's what Elmer Fitzpatrick always said before he got run over by a train.

    [​IMG]
     

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