Useless information thread

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by forzainter, Oct 17, 2007.

  1. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    The guy in the hammock seems remarkably relaxed to be so dangerously close to the potential disasters that follow @SoBad around like puppies seeking a milking teat from their litterbiotch.:eek:
     
  2. SoBad

    SoBad G.O.A.T.

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    I am an ordinary man exhausted by mineral water.
     
  3. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Add some selenium so you can keep us amused with your fish tales!:cool:
     
  4. SoBad

    SoBad G.O.A.T.

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    I am worried about my health. I am concerned that I might be suffering from a salmon caviar deficiency syndrome.
     
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  5. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Putin demoted you from his inner circle??? Whisper in Sobkin's ear, who will then whisper in Safin's ear and good things will happen for you.:cool:
     
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  6. SoBad

    SoBad G.O.A.T.

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    Astute analysis does not require intimate connection to the greatest statesmen, coaches, or players. Fine food and personal comfort, on the other hand, are some of the essential elements that need to come together to support intellectual excellence.
     
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  7. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Putin on the Ritz lifestyle is a luxury struggling tennis journos can find some comfort in to ease the dull aching pain of their normal poverty.
     
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  8. Mike Bulgakov

    Mike Bulgakov Hall of Fame

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    Lucie was banned from her hockey league for excessive czeching. She really enjoyed knocking down her opponents.
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
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  9. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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  10. Mike Bulgakov

    Mike Bulgakov Hall of Fame

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    On a cold, windy, late winter Amsterdam evening, a crow once crapped on my head. I was taking a stroll while waiting for a train to Paris, and a giant, wet crow's turd on my head was not what I needed. I probably pissed it off earlier in a drunken stupor, and it remembered me. Marloes Horst would have never done that.
     
  11. Vcore89

    Vcore89 Hall of Fame

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    She wasn't chess buddies with Anatoly and Gary but instead elected to hang with her czechmates?;)
     
  12. Vcore89

    Vcore89 Hall of Fame

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    In some culture, being crapped by a crow, a pigeon or any other birds of flight is a sign of good luck and/or bad luck. So I guess, it really depends where it happened [Paris]. Anyhow, were you lucky or just the same after the turd drop? Oh, btw, in order to be lucky, one has got to wear the ''turd on head'' for a day!:D
     
  13. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    If being crapped on is someone's idea of luck, I'll pass :D


    (Unless it happens in the Vortex, where it's just a regular day, nothing unusual. )
     
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  14. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Yes, it has been unusually crappy around here lately, thanks much to ado about The Big Nothing and his new master, The Big Ego.:eek:
     
  15. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Being gassed and crapped upon is no way to go thru life :(
    Unless you are toughening yourself for the IronMan Poobathlon :D
     
  16. Vcore89

    Vcore89 Hall of Fame

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    Poobah crapathon is the order of the hour, day, week, month and year here at the Vortex.:D

    Unlike proclaiming nonsense such as knowing the month and year [delimiting exact hour and day] of end times.;)
     
  17. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    Extreme fecal sports?

    [​IMG]
     
  18. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    I got drunk in public and was coerced by a honeymooning Irish couple to sing backup karaoke for them...American Pie by Don McLean was their choice of tunes. I was not drinking whiskey and rye but the levee was dry.

    I was planning on doing We've Got Tonight solo, in honor of the Ray Donovan $3million discount he received for grabbing the microphone in last week's episode.
     
  19. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    When given to choose between being crapped on and Marloes Horst, 99 out of 100 men would choose Marloes Horst. Then again, who am I to judge how BottomBoy (I mean Bartleby) chooses to spend his free time.

    [​IMG]
     
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  20. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    What????? No Danny Boy????????
     
  21. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    Where I live there are tons of crows. I mean tons. One day as I came out from Safeway after shopping, I opened a Ritz crackers box to have a few, and crows started to group around my car, so I started throwing Ritz crackers and observing the crows' behavior. One or two crows were always the dominant ones (Alpha Crows?) and made sure to assert their dominance aggressively and loudly.
    If some of the other crows got a cracker, usually they would fly away with the loot to enjoy a peaceful meal, I suppose.

    There was this crow which learnt how to double-stack the crackers, so he never just got one cracker, but two, before flying away.

    And some crows apparently were full, but they would still get the crackers, and sometimes would hide them in the corner of a tree pot under some branches or leaves.

    Pretty smart animals, so I'm not surprised they can remember people.

    They outsmarted me out of most of my Ritz crackers that day, those vermin. :mad:

    ;)
     
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  22. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Did one of them seem fatter and wore little pink wing bands and talon covers???

    If so, I'm betting he was the one that mastered double stacking.:p:D
     
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  23. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    I was just alerted on Twitter that I should follow another member named Bangkok Bacon. Is that you @r2473 ???

    What were you doing One Night In Bangkok ???
     
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  24. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    Once upon a midnight dreary
    Once upon a midnight dreary,
    while I was flatulent and leary
    of the crow who triple-stacked the Ritzs,
    I went out to take a p.iss,

    when a tree from whence the beast stood,
    released a substance that impaired my mood.
    Twas dark and overweight, with eyes that smouldered,
    and it did the double-squat as it crapped on my shoulder.

    Alas!, I cried, why must thou my soul torment
    with thy dreadful excrement!
    Tis Okay, I figured later. Just a beastly ploy.
    Was pissed, but now... I'll crap on BottomBoy.

    ;)
     
  25. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    Why do you carry around your mineral water, good sir? Haven't you heard of the wheelbarrow? Any gentleman of good standing must carry his mineral water around these days in a personalized wheelbarrow. That's what Elmer Fitzpatrick always said before he got run over by a train.

    [​IMG]
     
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  26. SoBad

    SoBad G.O.A.T.

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    This has little to do with transportation of mineral water. Those familiar with the fine mineral water lifestyle understand why it can be exhausting.
     
  27. Mike Bulgakov

    Mike Bulgakov Hall of Fame

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    For me, most salads are not very exciting.
    [​IMG]
     
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  28. Mike Bulgakov

    Mike Bulgakov Hall of Fame

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    I am familiar with mineral water and would like to learn more about your exhausting relationship with the product. I first gave serious and extensive contemplation of the mineral water issue while in Paris, when I came to the realization that I much preferred Vittel over Evian due to the harder mineral content.

    Mineral analysis of a few European mineral water brands

    Water/Minerals Ca Mg Na K Cl SO4 HCO3 NO3 SiO2 F pH
    Acqua della Madonna 367 69 82 11 - - 1359 - 32 - 6.3
    Acqua Panna 33 6.7 6.3 - 9.1 21.1 108 - 7.2 - 8.1
    Aquarel 70 2.1 2 1 4 210 4 7.1
    Apollinaris Classic 9 12 47 3 13 10 180 5.8
    Arvie 170 92 650 130 387 31 2195 0 77 0.9 6.3
    Badoit 190 85 165 10 44 38 1300 34 1.3 6
    Brecon Carreg 55 15 5 0.5 9 9 225 3.5 7 7.6
    Bru - Still 21 20 8 1.5 4 5 180 0 19
    Budgens Montgomery Spring - Still 45 4.5 69 5.4 31 5 7.5
    Buxton Still 55 19 1 24 37 13 248 0.1 7.4
    Chaudfontaine 65 18 44 2.5 35 40 305 0.1 0 0.4 7.6
    Contrex 485 84 9.1 3.2 10 1187 403 2.7 7.2
    Cristaline/Aurèle 106 3.8 3.5 1.8 3.8 58.9 272 2 0 0 7.5
    Courmayeur 533 66 1 2 0.5 1480 176 3.8 1.5 0.5 7.4
    Dolomiti 25.6 9.2 1.4 0.8 0.9 23 94 3.5 8.5 0.08
    Evian 78 24 5 1 4.5 10 357 3.8 13.5 0 7.2
    Freu H· 17 3.5 14 1 5 18 80 0.2
    Harrogate Spa Still 46 16 5.7 3.3 18 5 7.1
    Hépar (Vittel) 549 119 14 4 11 1530 384 4.3 7.2
    Highland Spring 40.5 10 5.6 0.7 5.3 150 3.1 7.8
    Montcalm 3 0.6 1.5 0.4 0.6 8.7 5.2 1 6.8
    Mont Roucous 1.2 0.2 2.8 0.4 3.2 3.3 4.9 2.3 6.9 6
    Ogeu 48 12 31 1 48 18 183 5
    Orée du Bois 150 50 43 9 62 635 292 1 1.3 7.2
    L'Oiselle 164 79 86 22 144 430 312 1 1 7.2
    Perrier 149 7 11.5 23 42 120 5.46
    Pierval 42.8 16 10.3 18.8 10.4 32 197 1 0 0.15 7.2
    Quézac 241 95 255 49.7 38 143 1685.4 0.1 2.1 6
    Recoaro 35.2 14 0.9 0.3 - 19.9 150 4.3 1.7 0.1 8.1
    La Salvetat 253 11 7 3 4 25 820 1 71 6
    San Benedetto 128.9 17.9 11.7 2.4 35.3 43.3 359.9 0.1 13.4 7.52
    San Pelligrino 186.9 52.2 39 61.1 476 241.9 0.5 7.7
    M&S Scottish Still 42 9 12 1 10 13 135 8 7.4
    Spa Reine 4.5 1.3 3 0.5 5 4 15 1.9 0 0 6
    Strathmore Still 87 15 56 2.2 155 1 145 (CaCO3) 5 - 0.1 7.7
    Tönissteiner 157 126 106 16.1 31.3 1312 41.7
    Ty Nant 22.5 11.5 22 1 14 3.7 - 0.1 - 0.15 6.8
    Valvert 67.6 2 1.9 0.2 4 18 204 3.5 7.3
    Vauban 230 66 40 8 58 620 280 1 1.3 7.2
    Vichy Célestins 103 10 1172 66 235 138 2989 2 5 6.8
    Vichy Saint-Yorre 90 11 1708 132 322 174 4364 6 6.6
    Vittel 202 43 4.7 336 402 4.6 0.28 7.5
    Volvic 11.5 8 11.6 6.2 13.5 8.1 71 6.3 31.7 7
    Wattwiller 180 15 3 1.3 340 160 0 7.5
    http://www.eupedia.com/europe/european_mineral_waters.shtml

    My first time at the Summer Palace in Beijing, a friend from the embassy warned me not to buy the bottle water being sold at stands, as it's usually counterfeit and unsafe. I started buying all my bottled water from the Friendship Store.
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
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  29. Mike Bulgakov

    Mike Bulgakov Hall of Fame

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    [​IMG]

    Marloes Horst >>>>>>> crow crapping on head

    [​IMG]
     
  30. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Is there any H2O in the Hepar (Vittel)...its numbers suggest that a knife and fork might be offered when it is ordered!
     
  31. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Perhaps poor tortured Vincent lost his ear and then his life due to a few too many crow bombs dropped on his head???

    I've often felt similar desperation inside The Vortex while under siege from Poobeshs bombs bursting in midair. My depictions of this misery would be less Van Goghian though; quite more Munchian is the despair we share from his verbal bombardments.:eek:
     
  32. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    HAHA. Didn't someone photoshop that smiley into the Munch painting?
     
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  33. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    I know the Muzziah has been PSed into The Scream. Have you considered doing a Screaming Sureshs???
     
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  34. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    So beautiful.
     
  35. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    Yes, I have. But first I need to get the project cleared by MaxiPad apparently, to make sure it doesn't exceed the maximum threshold of irreverence accepted by His Excellence. Sureshs just asked me to provide my personal email so that he can forward it to Max for quick correspondence. As you can imagine, I'm leary of forwarding my email to such a brilliant hacker, lest my mailbox be afflicted by a sudden bout of electronic Sumatran Pimple.

    [​IMG]
     
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  36. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    It might be worse...a bout with Taiwanese typhoid fever could really do you in.:eek:

    If anything does happen, LMK as I have a cure.:cool:

    Love that baby gif...very smootherer!
     
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  37. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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  38. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Legend

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    The lanky old queen of the South has been talking a lot about the "SF gay scene" lately. Is BottomBoy looking to ask for Assylum into his much hated United States of America for the sake of love?
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2016 at 10:32 AM
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  39. SoBad

    SoBad G.O.A.T.

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    For me, the water is either Essentuki 17, or it’s not. Have always appreciated that bubbly salty water, well-chilled. The side benefit of extra salty water is that you can have it chilled well below 0C before any of it starts turning into ice. The colder temperature allows the beverage to retain a far more significant portion of its carbon monoxide upon unsealing of the bottle and pouring into the glass, so the bubbles are still there for you when you drink the water.

    Essentuki 4, Narzan, Borzhomi, those are all good, no question about that. But you are not quite getting the high mineral taste or the chill and gas of the 17.

    Don’t know what to say about the rest. I don’t keep tasting notes, but all I can say about Perrier, San Pellegrino, Apollinaris, and various other European and East Asian carbonated waters is that they are better than club soda.

    Not a fan of mineral stills. If tap water is unsafe, I am fine with boiled, UVed, or otherwise purified water, whatever the local practice.
     
  40. stringertom

    stringertom Talk Tennis Guru

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    Carbon monoxide??? Were there a few empty bottles of Essentuki 17 found next to Gerulaitis' corpse after his fatal "accident"???
     
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