What are your favorite jokes during a social match?

Discussion in 'Adult League & Tournament Talk' started by sureshs, Jun 17, 2009.

  1. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    1. After a gruelling point, as the server is ready to serve, I will say "take 2."

    2. After an incident during the first serve, like a ball showing up from another court, when the server is expecting me to say "take 2,", I will shout "Second serve."

    3. When the opponent spins the racquet and asks up or down, I will say "Yes."

    4. When the opponent asks me which side I want on a cloudy day, I will say "The sunny side."

    5. If the opponent puts up a great lob which I cannot reach, I will say "you should add the lob to your game."

    6. If I am hitting against a teaching pro and he hits a really good one, I will say "You are great and should consider teaching tennis."

    7. If my partner is not moving, I will shout "The ban on movement was lifted yesterday."
     
    #1
  2. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    Guess I am the only one who makes these jokes
     
    #2
  3. Jim A

    Jim A Professional

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    I'm a bit more self-depricating

    when I flub something its often followed with "I pay $50/hr to hit that shot"
     
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  4. VAmazona

    VAmazona Rookie

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    those are horrible horrible jokes.






    lol
     
    #4
  5. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    8. If we have a situation in mixed doubles where it is a guy and a girl against two guys due to scheduling constraints, I will ask "Which of you is the woman?"
     
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  6. JSF1

    JSF1 Rookie

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    If someone shanks and loses the point, I reply "Shank you very much!"
     
    #6
  7. PimpMyGame

    PimpMyGame Hall of Fame

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    If it's my service game and someone is trying to hit/pass the ball back to me between points and it goes in the net I shout "Don't worry, I'll get it" and charge the net.

    I suppose you have to be there, really.
     
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  8. CrocodileRock

    CrocodileRock Rookie

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    If I am receiving in a doubles match, and the server double faults, I turn to my partner and say "I won my half."
     
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  9. Joeyg

    Joeyg Semi-Pro

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    To my male partner, "Excuse me, ma'am, but does your husband play"?
     
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  10. beernutz

    beernutz Hall of Fame

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    I like to say 'yours' right after my partner gets nailed in the body with a line drive shot. That always lightens the mood on court.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2009
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  11. subaru3169

    subaru3169 Semi-Pro

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    :lol: :lol: i am so gonna say this next time
     
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  12. seleswannabe

    seleswannabe Rookie

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    Me likey this one.... :twisted:
     
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  13. catfish

    catfish Semi-Pro

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    If my partner doesn't move at all for a shot I say "Good effort!".
     
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  14. blakesq

    blakesq Professional

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    If a guy has a new tennis bag, i will ask him "Nice bag, do they also come in a men's version?"
     
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  15. 120mphBodyServe

    120mphBodyServe Banned

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    *SLAP*... lol...
    Sorry, I can't think of any on court jokes...
    Maybe later...
     
    #15
  16. kylebarendrick

    kylebarendrick Professional

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    After being aced:

    "Take 2...

    ...other side"

    (learned this one from a former partner)
     
    #16
  17. Ajtat411

    Ajtat411 Semi-Pro

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    When I hit a winner, I rush the net and get in their face and tell them how much they suck!
     
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  18. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    I have to say, I saw the funniest thing today. Our opponent went to spin her racket. Her Yonex racket. This is the logo that was on her handle butt:

    [​IMG]

    She patiently explains that the little circles were up and the little triangles were down. Or maybe the triangles were up and the circles were down? She says, "Call it." I say, "Uh, down?"

    Then she starts spinning it in her hand so neither of us can see and says, "Say when." I decide to let her spin for a while to see if perhaps she would get a rug burn on her palm. Then I said, "Uh, when?" She spins it one more time and then shows me the handle. Circles up. I just stood there. Circles up, circles up, what did that mean? "Uh, did I win?" Apparently I had.

    Dang. It's just a racket spin. Why all the hoopla?
     
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  19. subaru3169

    subaru3169 Semi-Pro

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    not in it huh?? :lol: :lol:
     
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  20. iamgoat

    iamgoat Banned

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    thread killer :)
     
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  21. mikro112

    mikro112 Semi-Pro

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    [​IMG]
     
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  22. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    Be careful some people have a dirty mind
     
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  23. StringingIrvine

    StringingIrvine Semi-Pro

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    6. If I am hitting against a teaching pro and he hits a really good one, I will say "You are great and should consider teaching tennis."

    3. When the opponent spins the racquet and asks up or down, I will say "Yes."

    HILARIOUS!!!

    Sometimes when i'm playing a good friend and i lose a point i'll say redo ball on. and they will say what ball, and i take out a ball in my pocket and toss it on the ground and say that ball.

    Also on my serve i'll hold 2 balls in my hand and toss one super high and immediately dink the second ball into the service box. sort of a fake out. None of them are as good as yours though =p.
     
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  24. Redflea

    Redflea Hall of Fame

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    Love 'em. :D
     
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  25. NickC

    NickC Professional

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    I have one, but I think I'll get a warning or a tempra-ban because it's sort of stereotypical and racist, but funny nonetheless. If KK lets me post it I will.
     
    #25
  26. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    You need to update yourself about the new times
     
    #26
  27. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    9. When I shank a ball (like Federer), I will say:

    I did pay for the frame too, not just the strings
     
    #27
  28. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    10. If someone brings dead balls to hit with, I will say: These balls bounced great in 2001
     
    #28
  29. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    11. There is a guy (let just call him by his real name Dan) who is notorious for never opening a can of new balls, but quietly waiting for someone else to volunteer. Once in a blue moon when he is forced to open his own can, we all start clapping.
     
    #29
  30. 10sguy

    10sguy Rookie

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    Don't Miss!

    When my partner is someone with whom I have a good relationship (and I know can handle it), I've occasionally said, "don't miss!," when they're about to hit what should be an easy point-ending putaway. Hey, we've all missed those shots, probably due to not focusing, right? I'm here to tell ya I've NEVER had a partner miss the "easy" putaway after I've uttered those words. I'm betting it makes 'em focus better!
     
    #30
  31. BounceHitBounceHit

    BounceHitBounceHit Legend

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    After an opponent hits a fault on a poorly executed toss, you can say "Good get!". ;) :twisted: BHBH
     
    #31
  32. spartan1o5

    spartan1o5 New User

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    If someone hits a fault or hits out I usually say "Return to sender" not much X__X
     
    #32
  33. BounceHitBounceHit

    BounceHitBounceHit Legend

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    If I can EVER shank a ball like Federer that will be the apex of my tennis playing life. ;) BHBH
     
    #33
  34. ChrisCrocker

    ChrisCrocker Rookie

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    if someone serves and it lands far away from the service box, i say "just out by a bit" or if they hit the ball on to a different court "i think it was out"
     
    #34
  35. jwr1972

    jwr1972 Rookie

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    I like that one and I also like to say "Let" when I get aced and also I'll say "Net, fault" on a ball that is way out that never touched the net. If I'm gassy, I'll let one rip, clutch my buttocks, and say, "Anyone have a Kleenex?"
     
    #35
  36. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    Please stay away from me
     
    #36
  37. steebo

    steebo Rookie

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    If any of my male friends hit a delicate drop shot, I always congratulate them on being able to play so well while menstruating.
     
    #37
  38. Fedace

    Fedace Banned

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    Your wife was great last night.
     
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  39. steebo

    steebo Rookie

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    When my opponent hits a shot I can't return, I tell them I was thrown off by them playing so far above their skill level.
     
    #39
  40. Bhagi Katbamna

    Bhagi Katbamna Hall of Fame

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    I have a couple of friends that are a bit overweight(but are really good players). Once one of them was playing in Iowa, and the other was watching. One of the locals said something to the effect of "you Hannibal(where I live) players seem to work out at the same gym." To which my other friend replied: "Yes, Old Country Buffet."
     
    #40
  41. Bhagi Katbamna

    Bhagi Katbamna Hall of Fame

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    Whenever I hit a total frame shot winner when I play against a good friend, I say "the ball can't go where it isn't aimed".
     
    #41
  42. Bhagi Katbamna

    Bhagi Katbamna Hall of Fame

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    I told a friend who hit a down the line winner while playing someone else "that looked like Federer." After a pause of a few seconds while he was basking in the glory, I added "An older and fatter version of Federer with less hair."
     
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  43. Commando Tennis Shorts

    Commando Tennis Shorts Hall of Fame

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    When I play Alex Clayton, I like to say, "Hey, do you think it's weird some guy named Fedace is parading your photo around online?" :) lol
     
    #43
  44. PeppermintMocha

    PeppermintMocha Rookie

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    lol, best joke.
     
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  45. TBobLP

    TBobLP Rookie

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    i like to go with the whole "ballwasinsayswhat" routine
     
    #45
  46. iLose

    iLose New User

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    Haha, I like this thread.

    Two of my favorites (which I probably use a little too often)

    1) If I miss a serve or a shot way out I look at my opponent and very seriously ask "was that good?"

    2) If I am every on the run and about to take a haymaker swing (a shot that goes out 99.9% of the time) at the ball, while im swinging I yell "RAFA!" or "ROGER!"
     
    #46
  47. Cross Court

    Cross Court Banned

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    I just curse and yell at my opponent for hitting to my backhand.

    Nah just kidding, usually if I don't like my opponent and he hits a ball that goes way out, I would say "Ooo, just out." Stuff like that. Usually I'm quiet when I'm playing someone I respect.
     
    #47
  48. beernutz

    beernutz Hall of Fame

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    LOL, like someone would actually believe you'd been with a woman.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2009
    #48
  49. MNPlayer

    MNPlayer Semi-Pro

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    Here's one I've heard a few times from guys after they hit a (rare) good shot:

    "Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while."
     
    #49
  50. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    We have a guy who keeps saying things like "they used to call me Pistol Pete" or "they used to call me Rafael Nadal" after hitting a good one. So we decided to name him "Rafa Nada."

    Get it? Nada = zero.
     
    #50

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