What are your favorite jokes during a social match?

Discussion in 'Adult League & Tournament Talk' started by sureshs, Jun 17, 2009.

  1. jwr1972

    jwr1972 Rookie

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    I have a friend when he is at the net in doubles and his partner is serving, he will lower the net right before the service to give a better chance to his partner.
     
    #51
  2. GPG

    GPG Semi-Pro

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    that's a good one!

    when I play with my buddies, after a good shot we say similar things or something like: "Did I told you I used to teach Roger those shots?" or "Roddick was my service student"

    Anothe rone I frequently use: when the ball is way out, I say in a serious way like a linesman "out" or I also say "would you like to challenge that one?"
     
    #52
  3. SethIMcClaine

    SethIMcClaine Rookie

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    "Nice hit Babe Ruth" after watching an opponent shank one over the fence
     
    #53
  4. spot

    spot Hall of Fame

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    If I am playing mixed doubles and my partner double faults I'll turn around and apologize for being too distracting at the net and assure her that its perfectly natural and happens all the time.

    If a friend DF's into the net I'll be helpful and call the serve "SHORT".

    If a person hits me with the ball, the next time I am returning and they are at the net I'll tell them to "Say ahhh".

    Whenever a guy on our team gets too cute with the dropshots and puts them into the net of course they are "Hercules" the rest of the match.

    When one opponent is clearly carrying the other we call the other person "Samsonite"

    of course Any time a ball comes late onto the court after a great shot its virtually mandatory to call a let.

    On a great winner you tell them "I'm sorry but the ball hit the line and skidded out."

    When a guy is pounding the ball but not coming close to getting it in you tell them that you think they owe the net an apology.
     
    #54
  5. ms87

    ms87 Rookie

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    when my partner is returning in doubles and the opponent double faults, I will often remark "nice return" to my partner

    my most regular hitting partner and I also have a running joke where if one of us hits a great winner (that is clearly in), the other one will casually point his finger as if to say "out"
     
    #55
  6. SethIMcClaine

    SethIMcClaine Rookie

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    When someone gets hit with the ball "Way to stand your ground"
     
    #56
  7. CrocodileRock

    CrocodileRock Rookie

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    Sometimes during a match, we hear a siren from a fire truck or ambulance. I usually say "My backhand is a crime - they're coming to get me."
     
    #57
  8. SethIMcClaine

    SethIMcClaine Rookie

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    When I'm feeling lazy...
    "I would have gotten that, but I dont work on Sundays. Gods rule, not mine"
     
    #58
  9. CrocodileRock

    CrocodileRock Rookie

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    I have a similar one - when someone hits one over the fence, i say in my best announcer imitation "And the Yyyyyyankees win the pennant"
     
    #59
  10. SethIMcClaine

    SethIMcClaine Rookie

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    I like it!
     
    #60
  11. CrocodileRock

    CrocodileRock Rookie

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    I thought of a couple more: If I win the first point of the warmup, i say "15-love" and hit the next ball. If I'm way behind and serving, I'll say " You ready to start? OK, play these"
     
    #61
  12. muddlehead

    muddlehead Rookie

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    after i've been aced , "let. take 2" after a solid winner against me, "just out"
     
    #62
  13. Todd6060

    Todd6060 New User

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    Someone I used to play after I would hit a winner against him, he'd say: "Out ... of reach."
     
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  14. theenrighthouse

    theenrighthouse New User

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    Ha. That's awesome.
     
    #64
  15. Dark_Angel85

    Dark_Angel85 Rookie

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    1. player serves, booms past you, "I'm not ready?"

    2. net caught, ball drops in my favour, "See that?!!! huh!!?? DO YA!?!? EVERYDAY MAN!!!, 4 hours a day!!!"
     
    #65
  16. 10ACE

    10ACE Professional

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    I play tennis at 5:00 pm sometimes, If I am the server and I ace my opponent on my first serve, I say "WELCOME to FIVE O'CLOCK TENNIS!"

    If someone calls FBI, I yell, "For b!tches and Infants"
     
    #66
  17. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    Choking the whole match because you are nervous when playing against better players. *sniffle!*
     
    #67
  18. goran_ace

    goran_ace Hall of Fame

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    I like to say "you pay for the whole racket, might as well use the whole racket"
     
    #68
  19. goober

    goober Legend

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    The problem is that joke is so old and overused that it isn't funny any more.
     
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  20. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    It is so old I already listed it in post #27
     
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  21. Ajtat411

    Ajtat411 Semi-Pro

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    I got a really good. First time I've heard it so it shouldn't be old.

    But if someone frames one for a winner, I would say "you pay for the whole racket, might as well use the whole racket". hahaha
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2009
    #71
  22. ARNICOLINI

    ARNICOLINI Rookie

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    I prefer the variation

    Hey you pay more for the racket than you do the strings!
     
    #72
  23. SChamp

    SChamp Rookie

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    I was at a tournament watching an open division singles match. The match was on clay and one guy was hitting all kinds of lines, especially on his serve. His opponent said to him, "you must have put these lines down yourself." The guy said ever so nonchalantly, "I'm in the process of nailing 'em down right now." It was hilarious, but what it made it really cool was the fact that the guy didn't even pause to think about it, it just flowed right off his tongue.
     
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  24. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    ^I wish it were caught on tape.
     
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  25. greg_in_atl

    greg_in_atl New User

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    A bunch of wisecracks commonly heard during my mens league matches

    when someone hits a really soft 2nd serve or drop shot or repeatedly lobs:
    "Hey, I hear there is an opening on the Senior Womens Team"

    when someone repeatedly hits the ball right on the line:
    "Who do you think you are, Sherwin Williams?"

    when you're really carrying your partner during a match:
    "Hey can someone sew a handle on the back of my shirt for next week?"

    when you frame a ball for a winner:
    "Well, my strings last longer that way"

    since "coaching" isn't allowed by spectators, we came up with code words to use to cheer on our teammates who are having a bad day:
    "C'mon Joe, SFU!"

    SFU is code for "Stop F^&*ing Up"
     
    #75
  26. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    Yeah this is a fresh new joke. This is the third time in this thread.
     
    #76
  27. bsandy

    bsandy Hall of Fame

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    1. Whenever an opponent calls a ball out that I think is in I say "You know the Lines are IN Right?"

    2. Whenever an opponent mis-tosses a serve and catches it or lets it bounce, I say "Take Two".

    . . . Bud
     
    #77
  28. CrocodileRock

    CrocodileRock Rookie

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    On those rare occasions where I win a set 6-0, I'll tell my friends "I noticed my opponent was hungry. So I fed him a bagel."
     
    #78
  29. Yenster

    Yenster Rookie

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    I call every ball out against good friends. =]
     
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  30. Yenster

    Yenster Rookie

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    Or when I shank it and it goes out of the court, I go " you know lines count right?" Or in doubles, before the opponent I lift up my shorts and blind the server with my white thighs =]
     
    #80
  31. blakesq

    blakesq Professional

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    in doubles, before returning the serve, i will say to the net man "You got any salt? Cuz you are going to eat this one!"


     
    #81
  32. shazbot

    shazbot Semi-Pro

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    If I'm playing with someone I know well I'll joke around a lot.

    When they hit a shot, or a serve that is soooooooooooooo far out (I'm talking like 10-12 feet, or to the back of the fence type shot) I will yell back to them, "Wanna check shot spot on that one?".

    When my brother and I play, whenever one of us hits a drop shot that we can't get too, we call each other a**holes and laugh while trying to track it down.
     
    #82
  33. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    Lately, I have been having a ball yelling "Foot Fault" in social doubles matches. A couple of guys have gotten so nervous they are double faulting whenever I am around. Yet they know it is supposed to the joke of the moment so they can't be upset about it.
     
    #83
  34. BetterAtSingles

    BetterAtSingles New User

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    When I spin my Wilson racquet before a match, instead of saying "M or W?" I say "Money or Women?" This usually catches most people off guard and they get a chuckle out of it.
     
    #84
  35. RichieD3

    RichieD3 New User

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    If I'm down a few games before I get on the board when I finally do I break out the Vitas "nobody beats me 6-0" but 6-1 happens all the time.
    Vitas had the greatest tennis joke of all time. Conners (I think had beaten him 17 in a row when Vitas finnaly won) at the presser he says "Nobody beats Vitas 18 times in a row".
     
    #85
  36. Ken Honecker

    Ken Honecker Rookie

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    After my opponant makes some absolutely amazing play, getting to a ball that was totally out of reach and herfing it back into play I let the crowd know that "I am so good I can bounce it off his racquet no matter where he holds it".
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2009
    #86
  37. Stewy30

    Stewy30 New User

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    In the middle of a point/rally, I will begin to grunt like Sharapova or make orgasm sounds everytime I hit the ball. The point usually finishes with one of us on the ground laughing, and weird looks by others if there are others there. =)
     
    #87
  38. kennydoe

    kennydoe New User

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    After losing the first bunch of games of a match, I’ll ask if my opponent is ready to start the set yet. (this was already noted)

    If I double fault after the first point, I’ll still ask to confirm that “it’s ‘first one in’ right?”

    If I’m passed by a great shot, I’ll call “Out - !” - when the opponent scoffs I finish with “-- standing!” or “ – of reach”

    Last night the woman I played in an XD match got aced up the middle and she said “sorry – I’ll be there in a minute”.

    On an un-gettable ace, I’ll sometimes call ‘foot fault’

    If an opponent asks how far out their ball was, I’ll say “8 inches”, but hold my thumb and index about an inch apart. (this is a penis joke, btw).

    If my opponent mis-hits a winner, I’ll claim the point since ‘it has to be on purpose’.

    If my (or opponent) hits a shot that’s far out of my league, I’ll ask “can you show me how you hit that shot?”

    If a shot that hits the net cord and dribbles over…if it’s me I say “I’ve been working on that shot all week!”. If my partner hits it, I say ‘just like a taught you” and if my opponent hit it I say “is THAT what you have to do to win a match?!??”

    If my partner volleys a ball that would have been out by a mile, I’ll tell them they saved the curtain (or fence) a lot of damage.

    In doubles, after the second bounce on a ball hit between us, I’ll shout “yours!”

    I don’t drop my racquet for serve, I just spin in my hand quickly and stop - Instead of asking “M or W”, I’ll ask “E or 3” and stop with the head perpendicular to the ground instead of parallel. People look at me funny every time.


    Reading back how many stupid things I say, it’s a wonder anyone ever wants to play with me!!

    Great thread!!!
     
    #88
  39. eagle

    eagle Hall of Fame

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    - If making unforced errors of late, I'll say "Sorry, I seem to have caught swine tennis".

    - Come one! Serve like a man. :)

    - "Watch the jewels please."

    - When down a set, we say "We have them where we want them".

    - We call folks who don't admit touching the ball Gonzo.

    - If we see a blatant foot fault, we yell out "I'm gonna shove this ball down your throat".

    r,
    eagle
     
    #89
  40. retlod

    retlod Professional

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    1. "That's a great shot...in doubles."

    2. After sailing a serve so long that it barely lands inside the baseline..."That was IN!"

    3. After a totally lucky shot...fist pump and a "YESSSSS!!!"

    4. During a set when I'm getting thrashed, I'll make up a fake set score like 0-18.
     
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