What's the best way to get over anger at playing terrible in a match?

Discussion in 'Adult League & Tournament Talk' started by heninfan99, Jul 21, 2013.

  1. heninfan99

    heninfan99 Legend

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    FYI, I don't drink.

    I played doubles today but had the worst serving day, perhaps of my life. We lost 4-6, 4-6. And then a guy we broke two or three times had the nerve to dole out serving advice as if he was Sampras. HA!

    I want a rematch but I'm not sure the other team is up for it. I think they know they will probably lose next time.

    I'm very angry with myself for my poor performance.
    I need to get this anger out of my system. Any ideas?
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2013
    #1
  2. ForLoveOfTheGame

    ForLoveOfTheGame Semi-Pro

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    Depending on what state you live in, blaze up :)
     
    #2
  3. Sumo

    Sumo Semi-Pro

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    Start to drink.

    Didn't you know dark beer is a recovery drink?
     
    #3
  4. the green god

    the green god Semi-Pro

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    Better team won.
     
    #4
  5. OrangePower

    OrangePower Hall of Fame

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    It's ok to be angry with yourself, as long as you don't let it go on for too long. When I play badly I let myself be ****ed about it for the rest of the day, but then the next day I don't think about it any more.

    I also find it useful to try identify what I did specifically so that I can correct it next time I'm on the court. For example if I served badly, was I tossing the ball low / badly, not bending my knees, not getting good rotation, etc. Usually that calms me down a bit.
     
    #5
  6. heninfan99

    heninfan99 Legend

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    We'll see how I feel tomorrow. :confused:
     
    #6
  7. heninfan99

    heninfan99 Legend

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    They played better today but we'll crush them next time. 100%
     
    #7
  8. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    I punish myself.

    If I didn't serve well, I go practice in the hottest part of the day, and I serve into the sun.
     
    #8
  9. heninfan99

    heninfan99 Legend

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    Good idea. I'll either do that or quit tennis.
     
    #9
  10. heninfan99

    heninfan99 Legend

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    Just thought of another way to look at it. I played my worst and we were still competitive. Losing still sucks but that's something.
     
    #10
  11. Nostradamus

    Nostradamus G.O.A.T.

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    Just don't play on Windy day. you are just setting yourself up for a bad day.
     
    #11
  12. OrangePower

    OrangePower Hall of Fame

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    You and the nuns both.


    (Staring into the sun was in the past used as a punishment for lying by nuns in Europe.)
     
    #12
  13. skiracer55

    skiracer55 Hall of Fame

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    You already said why you lost...

    ...you had the worst serving day you've had in your life. You're upset about that? Two answers:

    (1) As Brad Gilbert said in Winning Ugly, 5 days of the year, you can beat anybody on the planet. 5 days a year, you can't beat your grandmother...and she's dead. All the rest is what makes you a tennis player. So yesterday was one of the 5. It happens. There are no "woulda, coulda, shouldas." You either win or you don't. Learn from it and move on.

    (2) If you had the worst serving day you ever had in your life...why was that? My guess is that your technique is marginal. You may get away with what you're doing for a whole string of matches, but eventually it'll catch up with you, as it did yesterday. Players who serve well don't just do it once in a while, they do it all the time. So go back and take an honest look at what you're doing. You may have to throw the whole thing out and start over, which is painful, but in the long run, it's worth it...
     
    #13
  14. RogueFLIP

    RogueFLIP Semi-Pro

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    Beat up a pillow.
    Scream into a pillow. Curse yourself out.

    Break something.
    Buy a pinata, and go to town on it with a bat or something.

    Day of paintballing always calmed me down. Go shoot something.


    There's always:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTGdAGPDBpo
     
    #14
  15. IA-SteveB

    IA-SteveB Professional

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    For me, time heals all. If I play bad it is usually only a day or two at the most until I am ready to start fresh.
     
    #15
  16. Nostradamus

    Nostradamus G.O.A.T.

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    Agree. also I listen to Mozart. or I listen to piano played by Valentina Lisitsa.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdH1hSWGFGU
     
    #16
  17. newpball

    newpball Legend

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    Sure, play a full court match with stage 2 orange balls using RPM Blast.
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2013
    #17
  18. Nostradamus

    Nostradamus G.O.A.T.

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    Yes and use the 18 g RPM blast. it will go dead in 2 hours.
     
    #18
  19. SwankPeRFection

    SwankPeRFection Hall of Fame

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    Really? You're going to quit tennis over a 4 and 4 loss? :rolleyes:

    No offense, but that's an expected loss against other plays at your same level. Had you gotten beat big time, it would have been another case. Anytime it's not a shutout set, you're only messing up by a little bit somewhere... a point here and there. The fact that you served badly but made up for it by breaking the other team shows that you at least tried to play well enough to make up for it. Usually, this is one of the hardest things to realize and to learn to deal with in tennis.

    When something's not working for you, you need to learn to win points based on what is working for you that day. If you're missing serves where you normally get cheap points off aces or unreturnables, but this particular day, no matter how hard you try, your opponent is either getting the returns or you're missing serves, then you need to start playing out the points more. If you don't start thinking like this, you will lose every match when everything isn't perfect for you.
     
    #19
  20. storypeddler

    storypeddler Semi-Pro

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    Rafa and Roger both lost at Wimbledon this year to players ranked outside the top 100. It happens. If it hadn't happened to you before this, it was bound to at some point.

    Stay a little ticked off by it for the rest of the day and give a little thought to why you believe it happened. Maybe you can pinpoint a problem you can address. More likely, it was just one of those days that happens to all of us from time to time. Don't hold on to the frustration/anger though. When you go to bed that night, let it go. Wake up on a new day and start fresh. Learn from it if you can and move on. But whether you can learn anything from it or not, move on. There is too much more great tennis to be played to let it linger in your head. Get back out and play. Nothing washes away the memory of a badly-played match quite as efficiently or as quickly as a well-played match.
     
    #20
  21. Mongolmike

    Mongolmike Professional

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    Try this. Free shipping in the lower 48 also.

    [​IMG]
     
    #21
  22. heninfan99

    heninfan99 Legend

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    Sorry. Not interested in your *******ed hobbies but thanks.

     
    #22
  23. Mongolmike

    Mongolmike Professional

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    Not my hobby, but it has been used for thousands of years and endorsed by the British Empire, the Roman Empire, the Jewish religion, the Catholic religion, Islamic religion, etc. It was just a suggestion. How about this?

    [​IMG]
     
    #23
  24. heninfan99

    heninfan99 Legend

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    I see your cat self-portrait has the smallest pair of _alls.
    I'm sure it looks just like you. hahahahahaha

     
    #24
  25. IA-SteveB

    IA-SteveB Professional

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    This thread goes from getting over a bad match to personal attacks? Nice.
     
    #25
  26. The Isomotion31

    The Isomotion31 Semi-Pro

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    Sex and practice a day or 2 after the match.
     
    #26
  27. Mongolmike

    Mongolmike Professional

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    Wait.
    You are STILL whining and crying, this time about a copied internet pic of a cartoon cat? Seriously? Lighten up Alice... this is just an internet forum... and it's a Monday. Switch to decaf or something.
     
    #27
  28. dcdoorknob

    dcdoorknob Hall of Fame

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    I was just going to say that calling strangers names over the internet could help some people to get over a bad match, but it looks like this solution has already been found!
     
    #28
  29. heninfan99

    heninfan99 Legend

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    HAHAHAHA. Yeah, not a bad technique! Feeling great!
     
    #29
  30. ilovetennis212

    ilovetennis212 Professional

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    I have a painful way to forget the anger during the match.
    Every time you got angry by yourself try to Hit your forehead with your racquet frame like some pros do.
    Anger goes away with forehead's pain.
    I know it sounds stupid but works good when you have anger and don't know how to handle.
    Next time you will be less mad at yourself.
     
    #30
  31. sovertennis

    sovertennis Semi-Pro

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    Perhaps you should not take yourself, or the game, so seriously. Try to remember that you're "playing" tennis. Yes, it's "play".
     
    #31
  32. heninfan99

    heninfan99 Legend

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    I'll try this but there's a little Jimmy Connors in some of us. :)
     
    #32
  33. mmk

    mmk Professional

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    Exactly, and your livelihood doesn't depend on results, you aren't subject to genocide in Darfur, you aren't being attacked by the Taliban in Afghanistan, etc.
     
    #33
  34. 6789

    6789 New User

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    easy: trash the racket

    A concrete surface works well.
     
    #34
  35. OKUSA

    OKUSA Hall of Fame

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    Yeah sex is great
     
    #35
  36. chatt_town

    chatt_town Hall of Fame

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    The first thing is I personally would sit on the court for a maximum of 5 minutes and maybe think about it. After I leave the court though it's over. People in the stands that try and tell you nonsense that weren't on the court I just answer with generic answers like.."it happens to the best of us"...or "I'll live to fight another day". It just shouldn't ever be that serious. Your mortgage isn't depending on you winning so it's just exercise.


     
    #36
  37. corbind

    corbind Professional

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    The cat with the ballon was nice. Balls? The cat has paws sheesh. ;)
     
    #37
  38. Avles

    Avles Hall of Fame

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    Whatever man--- heninfan99 knows cat testicles when he sees them!

    Next you'll probably try to claim that those balloons were attached to his tail, when in fact it's clearly a grotesquely large feline penis.
     
    #38
  39. stapletonj

    stapletonj Semi-Pro

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    Like the scene in "analyze this" when DeNiro almost gets whacked and has some anger.

    Billy Crystal says "Hit a pillow" DeNiro pulls out a big 9mm and empties it into a couch pillow in the middle of the fancy hotel suite.

    Crystal says "feel better?"

    DeNiro pauses, look at the pillow and deadpans "Yeah. I kinda do."

    Since bags are less expensive than rackets, I suggest you empty your tennis bag and shoot about 10-15 rounds of 9mm into it.....
     
    #39
  40. darrinbaker00

    darrinbaker00 Professional

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    Practice what, tennis or sex? ;)
     
    #40
  41. cknobman

    cknobman Legend

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    Smashing a racquet
     
    #41
  42. asimple

    asimple Semi-Pro

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    This might temporarily feel great but after a short time you have to suffer both the pain of losing the match as well as paying for a new racquet. I did this recently and to make matters worse it also had a new set of strings.
     
    #42
  43. sovertennis

    sovertennis Semi-Pro

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    Jimmy Connors? Even Arthur Ashe though he was an a-hole. You want to be an a-hole? I didn't think so.

    Maybe try your inner Mats Wilander and see how that feels.
     
    #43
  44. CurrenFan

    CurrenFan Rookie

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    You think you had it bad?

    No matter how mad and frustrated you were, it can't be worse than what I went through last summer. So just the same as you do when you're sitting through some very boring event, tell yourself it will soon be over and better times are ahead.

    Last year was the first year I played much tennis in at least a dozen years, joining my first league (a fairly casual 3.5 league through the local municipality's recreation center). I played a lot in high school and could have played on an average high school varsity team, but was better at other sports, so I only played recreationally. Over a quarter century ago, I could hit most of the shots at least reasonably well. But then the time-sucking demands of adulthood came, I got into other racquet sports with much different strokes, the several guys I used to play tennis with got injuries and stopped playing tennis, and I went almost a decade without playing more than maybe once or twice a year, if I even dug my racquet out of the closet at all. I also discovered that with the modern, light, powerful graphite racquet, I could no longer hit any sort of topspin forehand, and most of my other shots weren't much better. I practiced a bit last spring with a neighbor before deciding to bite the bullet and I joined the local league.

    The first month of the league was one of the two or three most frustrating things I've ever done. Without frequent practice my serve was always spotty at best and after decades of rust and stagnation, my serve was outright putrid - I had entire games I double-faulted at love. Following my playing partners' advice to "take something off it just so it goes in" seemed to make my serve even worse. I got so frustrated I had tension headaches while playing. There was a younger player in the league who didn't even try to refrain from visible and audible signs of disgust when we played together and once actively sought to avoid having me as a partner (we mix up the teams and matches every set). I had multiple weeks where my team never won a set, even if I was paired up with the best player in the league (who I'm guessing is at least a 4.5).

    I came very close to quitting out of frustration, but I just knew that somewhere I had it in me to return to being able to play the game somewhat decently again. And I live in a fairly small community, so I didn't want to run into anyone and have them say to their friends or family afterwards "Yeah, that guy used to be in our league, but he was awful. I'm kind of glad he quit."

    After the first few league sessions, I knew I had to do something, so I got a one-on-one lesson focusing just on serving. And I bought a ball hopper and a few dozen pressureless balls and began hitting my local lighted court for serving practice for an hour at least four nights a week. Then I spent about two hours with a friend who is an avid doubles player, learning some doubles strategy (I could count on my fingers the number of doubles matches I had ever played before joining the league last year), and practicing volleys, something I had never much bothered with in baseline singles game.

    And I slowly got better. I cut back significantly on the double-faults - I even started winning some of my service games - and started winning points off volleys. Some of my shots started going in instead of hitting the net or the back fence. I began enjoying the game.

    This season has been even better. I played with that younger player again this year and she was not only very pleasant with me, but we won our set pretty handily. Last week I had three aces in one set, one of them against our league's ringer who seems to be able return anything. This week I didn't drop a set and after getting a few double-faults out of my system early in the night, won all the rest of my service games; I had no aces this week, but the last two games no one returned a serve - we won them at -15 (I double faulted once) and at love. In another service game, I served wide from the deuce court and thought I had an ace, but the guy got his racquet on it and hit a nice return at a pretty oblique angle, taking me out of the court. The opposing net player on the ad side had most of the court covered, so I snapped a shot wide of his backhand into the back corner of the doubles alley for a winner and got three hearty compliments on my shot. It helped start off a four-game streak that brought us from down 1-4 to winning the set. My topspin forehand still seems to be hiding in the long-ago glory days of my youth, but everything else is starting to come back to me - I even won a few points recently with drop shots. Nowadays I've been really looking forward to league nights - tennis is fun for me again.

    So OP, it sure sounds like a cliche to say it, but having a short memory of your failures, get in some extra practice or a lesson, and keep positive. It's no guarantee of instant success, but it will turn out well in the long run. A bad hour or two on the court will fade quickly into the past, so don't dwell on how frustrating it is to have an off-night.
     
    #44

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