What's your understanding of "competitive"?

[user92626]

Say, your social, regular hitter friend said "you're too competitive!" after you just played a great game against him, and of course you also sensed that he was trying and giving his best, too.

I just laughed it off but I did feel slightly annoyed probably because of being misunderstood. I'm not sure if I am competitive but I like to do things well when I'm at it. I don't lose sleep or get obsessive about results/losses, though I do play like I want to win every game when I am on the court. Also, in over 8 months we play together and not once instance have I questioned my opponent's calls or resorted to giving me an edge with calling shots. I think being competitive carries all the negative connotation, and that's why I don't like to be called as such.

What's your understanding of it?

 

[merlebo02]

I agree with you 100%…. Me personally if my opponent isn't taking it serious I don't want to play.. I like tennis because of the competitiveness of it. I enjoy myself and do not put a lot of emphasis on score/outcomes, but I expect myself and my oppenent to give 100%, same as I would with anything else in life. If im gonna do something, Im gonna give it all I got, if not why do it!!!

 

[BigBlueYanks]

he was trying and giving his best, too.

As long as the so called "too competitive" player is not playing the role of ump and lines judge for every single point, its all good.

From my personal experience, if you are playing a match against a better player(s), your competitiveness tends to come out, since you want to test your own skills and ability to win.

Sounds to me like he tried for the past eight months and failed at it; only way to compensate for his failure was to make an excuse for himself labeling you "too competitive."

 

[gmatheis]

Say, your social, regular hitter friend said "you're too competitive!" after you just played a great game against him, and of course you also sensed that he was trying and giving his best, too.

I just laughed it off but I did feel slightly annoyed probably because of being misunderstood. I'm not sure if I am competitive but I like to do things well when I'm at it. I don't lose sleep or get obsessive about results/losses, though I do play like I want to win every game when I am on the court. Also, in over 8 months we play together and not once instance have I questioned my opponent's calls or resorted to giving me an edge with calling shots. I think being competitive carries all the negative connotation, and that's why I don't like to be called as such.

What's your understanding of it?

maybe he wants you to throw a match to him once in a while ... but you're "too competitive" to do so

 

[user92626]

Sounds to me like he tried for the past eight months and failed at it; only way to compensate for his failure was to make an excuse for himself labeling you "too competitive."

You know what? I do feel deflated when he called me "very competitive" and he was only playing for fun. Not once but 3 times already. Naturally, I felt ridiculous and out of place so I scaled back my game aggressiveness. From there the game became less enjoyable and I became sloppy and whatever.

I don't throw a match to him because I think we're too mature for that, and if I do that, to what end?

 

[beernutz]

Did he say you were too competitive or very competitive? You have written both in this thread. The first to me would have a negative connotation while the second I would consider a compliment.

 

[sovertennis]

When someone says of him/herself "I'm too competitive" it connotes to me someone who's simply excusing him/herself for poor behavior such as sketchy line calls, tantrums, and that sort of thing.

In the OP's situation, it seems to me (from what little info there is) that because opponent isn't as emotionally invested in either the run of play or the outcome of the match as the OP is, he feels overwhelmed.

 

[anubis]

Say, your social, regular hitter friend said "you're too competitive!" after you just played a great game against him, and of course you also sensed that he was trying and giving his best, too.

I just laughed it off but I did feel slightly annoyed probably because of being misunderstood. I'm not sure if I am competitive but I like to do things well when I'm at it. I don't lose sleep or get obsessive about results/losses, though I do play like I want to win every game when I am on the court. Also, in over 8 months we play together and not once instance have I questioned my opponent's calls or resorted to giving me an edge with calling shots. I think being competitive carries all the negative connotation, and that's why I don't like to be called as such.

What's your understanding of it?

A competitive match means losing no more than one service game. So the final score would be 6-4 6-4 at worst, and 7-6 7-6 at best. That's a competitive game.

Once you lose 2 or more service games (6-3 and beyond), then it's not considered a competitive game.

Note: this really only applies to recreational tennis. At the pro level, someone like Federer could lose 6-1 in the first set and come back to win 6-1 in the second set. It's just weird that way, it has no bearing on the skill of the two players.

 

[shazbot]

A competitive match means losing no more than one service game. So the final score would be 6-4 6-4 at worst, and 7-6 7-6 at best. That's a competitive game.

Once you lose 2 or more service games (6-3 and beyond), then it's not considered a competitive game.

Note: this really only applies to recreational tennis. At the pro level, someone like Federer could lose 6-1 in the first set and come back to win 6-1 in the second set. It's just weird that way, it has no bearing on the skill of the two players.

It's not that black and white, mate. Sure if you held every service game at love, then you may have a point. But, you can lose a set 6-1 and it can still be a competitive set, even at the rec level...many multiple deuce games, etc...

 

[BigBlueYanks]

It's not that black and white, mate. Sure if you held every service game at love, then you may have a point. But, you can lose a set 6-1 and it can still be a competitive set, even at the rec level...many multiple deuce games, etc...

Yes indeed, I'm sure we can all recall the game(s) where both sides just couldn't finish it off and kept going back to deuce after deuce after deuce...

 

[Zolar]

The only time I would tell my opponent he/she is "too competitive" is if I thought he/she were making bad line calls, or if their judgment seemed to be clouded by their desire to win. Maybe they play mind games by quick-serving. Whatever. The point is, telling someone they are too competitive might just be a polite way of saying "back off". If I was really, really polite, I might even say, "Wow, you are very competitive!" and leave it at that. Only you can decide which you are, from the description you've given us.
And I agree, it's 100% all the way, otherwise don't compete, just hit.

 

[Michael Merriweather]

Assuming that you weren't engaging in any kind of gamesmanship, you're opponent made an excuse which casts them and not you in a poor light.

It's no different than if they said they lost because the sun was in their eyes, it was too windy, they stayed up late last night, etc.

It appears that you're the better player of the two and that your opponent can't acknowledge that, so they have to qualify it, you're better, but only because you're "too competitive". If they were really playing just for fun, why would it matter to them how competitive you were, as long as you weren't being rude, engaging in gamesmanship, etc.

A tennis match is a game with a winner and a loser. If your friend really wants to play for fun then don't keep score or stop at 6-6 games all call it a draw etc. Otherwise it sounds like the problem is they're not competitive enough and you need to find tougher competition, who aren't so insecure about losing.

 

[shazbot]

Yes indeed, I'm sure we can all recall the game(s) where both sides just couldn't finish it off and kept going back to deuce after deuce after deuce...

You mad bro?

 

[Mongolmike]

I wonder if the comment wasn't directed at your strong game, but something verbal you were doing, or some nit-picking you were doing?

Guess you could've easily cleared it up by asking, "What do you mean?"... and listening to his response.

Were you glaring at him after an ace? Pumping your fist after hitting a winner? Making close line calls? Calling him on a foot fault in a social match?

You might not be aware of mannerisms you do that make it seem you are "one upping" him... because if it was just that you played a stronger game, I think he would've said something like, "Man, you are just too good for me." or "You were on fire today." or "Dang, I couldn't return a serve to save my life today." ... stuff like that.

But to say "You are too competitive." to me says he was commenting on something OTHER than your game... and it wasn't meant as a compliment.

As an outsider, your point of view is the only one we have to go by, but you might be doing something that isn't necessary in a friendly match... maybe quit yelling "YOU SUCK!" when he makes an unforced error?? Or "I OWN YOU BEO TCH!" when you hit a winner?? Just a little bit too much maybe....

 

[user92626]

Did he say you were too competitive or very competitive? You have written both in this thread. The first to me would have a negative connotation while the second I would consider a compliment.

Hm...I didn't see this angle, this difference.

I'm sure he has no ill intention toward me because he's usually the one inviting me out to play. He said and texted to me "Man you are competitive", especially whenever I showed some determination with trying to up my game.

 

[ttbrowne]

In matches that I am scheduled to play: Sometimes I feel like playing and sometimes I don't...kinda like Safin. When I don't...forget it but it's none of your business if I don't, just concentrate on YOUR game. And don't ask me "What's wrong, don't you feel like playing?"