Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by StealthGnome, Dec 26, 2006.
Inebriation-liberation of a porpoise driven life [not to be confused with Purpose Driven Life].
1989 was a purpose driven year for actor Morgan Freeman. He was launched to stardom by three different roles in Glory, Lean On Me and Driving Miss Daisy.
We saw Andy Warhol's stardom in the form of Campbell's Soup logo [Marilyn Monroe et al].
Eating borscht in a cold, ground floor Manhattan apartment. The Velvet Underground plays loudly on cheap speakers, but John McEnroe yelling at random strangers on the sidewalk can still be heard. Anna Kournikova walks by an air vent outside the window...
In 1971, Debbie Reynolds paid $200 for Marilyn's "silly little white dress" made famous by a subway air vent on 52nd St. and Lexington Ave. Forty years later, it was auctioned off for $4.6million.
If I were in Maryland eating a subway sandwich (avec crabs) with Anna Kournikova, and got mayonnaise on her dress, I'd wipe it off for her...
When in Baltimore, MD. try visiting Gertrude's [crab cakes] or Loco Hombre [Cordon Bleu Burger]. I had many a great time there!
In an attempt to maintain solvency, Roberto's of Del Mar has issued a restraining order barring local hombre Sureshs from service during their AYCE burrito buffet hours. As a result, San Diego has relaxed their toxic gas alert status.
For the San Diego Bageler, the Carmel Valley Road Roberto's is the starting point for a burrito-fueled downhill run, then across a busy road and through a few blocks, and over a small cliff to a beach, where momentum certainly carries him to the ocean. If you see him running across the road in a wetsuit, carrying a surfboard and yelling "COWABUNGA!", please be careful...
Sureshs in a wetsuit would cause a neoprene shortage worldwide. His act of running would cause seismographs to shut down from overstress and the resulting tsunami alarms would cause panic at the Roberto's counter with many surfer dudes leaving half-eaten burritos for Sureshsbunga to swoop in and finish.
Imagine sureshs all neoprened and ready to deep-sea dive in hunt for harmless [likened to Div III girls] manta rays?
NeoSureshs to replace Keanu in The Matrix 4: Sureshsevolution????
Surershs and Ana model their neoprene suits...
Reported for unjustified slam of sea mammals!
Sureshs: A Porpoise Driven Life will top the NYT bestselling fiction charts for years.
Jimmy Buffett would approve and should be a bestseller at Barnes & Noble.
I hear that's why Amazon invented the tablet and digit distribution - Sureshs was slowly snacking his way munching up all the municipal libraries in the land. It is said that Sureshs absorbs knowledge through his gut, we know well how he excretes it...
These post-Radek days, Nicole likes to read erotic novels about being bageled in San Diego...
Will Nicole trust Poobs behind the golf cart wheel for a Tuesday ride this week in Carlsbad???
Not sure Nicole can handle the sureshsian post-surgery sausage.
Post-surgical Sureshs looks tough in his ID secured to drive golf carts this week.
And what would you do to this Norwegian beauty Kiira Korpi?
Sour cream on herring...
Incidentally, Korpi is Finnish, which means she can date Nadal when he moves there next year. If Nadal is only near Finnish next year, he can move to Sweden and date Elsa Hosk.
If Nadal is near FINNISH, it is but a very much shorter trip to Tallinn and Estonia, where he could have his choice of beautiful fashion models to date including the very popular Carmen Kass or the younger beauties Elisabeth Erm, Carmen Pedaru or Katlin Aas.
Nadal can party with Gulbis in Latvia next year, then they can go become Finnish together...
A floating farewell tour on Nadal's yacht through the Baltic with party animal Gulbis occasionally restocking the pantry on trips ashore via his self-propelled Harrier-style aircraft...that would be a fitting way to FINNISH at age 30 for the post-prime and rusty Majorcan Bull.
The Finnish ship is being filled
A thousand girls, a thousand thrills
A million ways to spend your time...
A thousand Finnish girls leaving their doors open for my perception! Please change my user name to @peepingtom!
Stringertom becomes the official towel person for WTA locker rooms, handing players towels after their showers...
Sure he's only gonna hand out towels and not flash his wheels, guns, abs, shields and wings?
Stringertom's wheels by Charles Atlas, abs by Fred Flintstone and Yuengling!
David Nalbandian only won a junior slam title while Rodge won a junior title plus 17 more; possibly an 18th before he retires.
Nalbandian has won many Denny's Grand Slam titles with his very fearsome forkhand.
Forklift needed to lift one humongous talk tennis guru [not named @Sentinel] here at TTW and possibly in the whole of San Diego.
Traffic in San Diego gets snarled behind the sureshsmobile as the Poobs stops to eat at every fork in the road.
Poobs get hunger pains and starts eating the traffic lights bringing chaos to urban San Diego. SDPD are trying to guide him in the direction of Tijuana. Headlines in Mexico stir panic, as Poobs the Guzzler makes his way south.
A new U.S.-Mexico trade agreement is made...we get the drugs and guns and Mexico receives Sureshs. Their agriconomy surges to produce all the necessary food supplies for the new national dish, the Pooburrito. Our air suddenly clears. #HappyEnding.
Sureshs eats his way through the entire Mexican corn belt and every tortilla in the land. Riots ensue in Mexico as locals are starved and head north to the US border. Trump gets elected on anti immigration ticket. Sureshs finds his way to the meteorite crater which destroyed the dinosaurs. Sureshs does a dump.
Sureshs dropping a deuce in a meteorite's crater would produce shock waves throughout the universe. Planets, including Suranus, would wobble on their axes like the app icons on your iPhone when considering deletion.
Even the sun would suffer breakdown in the form of increased solar flares strong enough to make life inside The Vortex only possible for those Sureshsians with built-in cooling systems first designed to enable the play of Poobartoliball without sweating.
Man, I'm glad I designed that system, although for the longest time I wasn't even slightly interested in that new sport. It made me think of Nadal too much.
You guys talk so much about trade agreement with Mexico regarding Pooburrito free trade zone or something to that effect, aren't you worried if and when the Mexican government elects to impose an embargo? Or even, boycott all things sureshs delicacy related...?
^^^ Last few posts too funny to read in one stretch. I am exhausted and wiped out from a two hour excursion. IN no shape to laugh so much today
Eating a Pooburrito while slo-mo reviewing the Poobartoli service motion is a daily routine of mine before my morning devotional on the porcelain throne. This suspicious daily routine recently earned me a personal email from the Mexican embassy informing me I am no longer welcome to travel to their country, embargoed due to new, more stringent air pollution controls put in place after the most recent eruption of Mt. Sureshsivius in neighboring San Diego.
I do a whole Sureshstanga series of postures when I rise every morning.
My favourite and longest one is sitting on the porcelain throne, Suershspoobana.
I don't suppose you are doing the cat stretch while astride your porcelain throne?
Most of the Sureshstanga series of postures comprise of various contortions and stretches involving the porcelain throne.
Voluptuous contortions are synonymous to penetrating mountainous eruptions, of the Vesuvius kind.
Residents of San Diego are complaining of headaches and shortness of breath due to the constant eruptions of Mt. Poobsuvius. I have received many emails recently requesting rush shipment of TSV-approved gas masks in the hopes that the methane gas cloud hanging over their metropolis will not penetrate again into their tender lungs.
It is said that world leaders in Paris are trying to get an agreement to reduce emissions by 20% so that Sureshs can continue emitting at his current rate.
What reduction of emissions?
What happened to sureshs suction?
Did he not canceled himself?
This is where the mega sureshsuction device comes in. He produces and absorbs!
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