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-   -   Why do people disappear as hitting partners once you start rocking them, when they (http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/showthread.php?t=424233)

DeShaun 05-15-2012 04:36 PM

Why do people disappear as hitting partners once you start rocking them, when they
 
were accustomed to rocking you?

Maybe I'm too competitive, but I like to take my lumps against better practice partners. The problem is that, once I finally turn the tables and play aggressively against them, now that I'm tired of them winning every "practice" point, they withdraw and become far less accessible as hitting partners.

What is wrong with me, or are these people being too delicate?

It's just a recreational sport. Man up and take your beatings. You didn't have any problem doling out the beatings before, you pansies! I do not understand these people.

spot 05-15-2012 05:21 PM

Quote:

Maybe I'm too competitive, but I like to take my lumps against better practice partners.
You do realize that the thread you started was about wanting to play against people significantly worse than you right?

DeShaun 05-15-2012 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spot (Post 6537290)
You do realize that the thread you started was about wanting to play against people significantly worse than you right?

Not entirely. Rather, those once significantly better but now equal to me. By "rocking" them, I mean: Only just starting to be able to push them around in hitting practice, say, only as recently as during the last month or so--after a year or longer of them having their way with you. But with your recent level not well enough established that they would assent somehow to the claim that they were worse than you because, on balance, they have historically been better. An so, they recede from the picture without much ado and almost incrementally so as not to draw attention to their newly asserted absence. And you're thinking, "I have been hitting with this guy and playing practice sets with him for three days a week over the past six months, and how come he is no longer available now that I am pushing him around and showing some aggression during practice? Did he think that I would permanently play the submissive role?" That is the class of people which I am talking about, not necessarily those established as being "worse" than me, although the two classes do overlap on a venn diagram.

Legend of Borg 05-15-2012 05:43 PM

This whole thread sounds like a huge, veiled ego trip about beating people at your club and then bragging about it on the boards.

There's no answer to your question.

Maybe they decided you're too manly for them and the ego is too much to take.

kabrac 05-15-2012 06:19 PM

Here is what I have experienced:

You play people better than you, you like playing them because it helps you get better and it helps their ego and confidence by running you like a dog, hence they feel like they "own" you.

They(the better people you were playing) think because they have beaten you so many times think that their overall record against you will get them through matches against you just because they have beaten you so many times, hence, they are "supposed" to beat you. If you push them.... they will play with you just to prove to themselves it was a fluke or that they were having an "off" day when you took them to 3 sets when normally they beat you in straights, something like 6-2 6-3.... or something like that.

You play with people lower than you, because YOU AREN'T THE TYPICAL CLUB *****. You will play with most anyone....anywhere....anytime, because you love the game.

At some point in time, if you keep playing people lower than you, and they keep getting better, will one day beat you. Then you play a few more times and it's win some lose some. That lower person will walk away from you, thinking they are now better than you and they will no longer play with you because they think that "you" are now holding them and their game back.

And the cycle continues over and over......

The great thing about tennis is that you get to meet alot of people. Bad thing is they are the type of relationships that are here today, and gone tomorrow.

I'm assuming you're a nice person. Now if you're constantly trash talking and strut'n around....making obviously bad line calls....then that might be your answer.

I've had people say to me: "Why are you playing with them; they're terrible". In my mind I'm saying: "Because I'm not an effin' *****, like you, and I like mixing things up and meeting new people.

I will say I get those "stuck up *****" thoughts every now and then, but then I just remind myself that that is not who I want to be, so I will usually hit with anyone, given they can put a ball over the net decently.

LONG POST...SORRY!:wink:

slice bh compliment 05-15-2012 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dennis10is (Post 6537368)
...
It is a serious issue for me, as I'm sure the OP's issue is a serious one for him.

I know, right?
I've had the same problem. But the physical exercise and the protein is actually really healthy, so mostly, it's lean muscle mass they are gaining. So I'm cool with it.

But this I must tell you... my wife and most of my former girlfriends are so beautiful, it's been tough going out with them. I mean, I love the fine ladies, of course, but everyone ogles them all the time. They're all just really cute, really sweet and have ultra hot bodies, but they're all also really feminine. Just really tough, man. It's like being in a fishbowl....always having a great time with them and getting way too much attention. Why can't they just be normal?
It's just been really tough on me. And I wanted someone to listen, so I posted it here. Thanks so much for reading, guys.

EDIT:
~They're so hot. Like a curry. They're so hot, they're makin' me sexist. B!tches.~
[paraphrased from a FotC song]

Rjtennis 05-15-2012 07:00 PM

Sometimes i get bored playing with the same individual and switch things up or vice versa. The people I hit with always seems to change over time with the exception of just a few. That might be whats hapening as well.

Wuppy 05-15-2012 07:29 PM

I have a problem because I'm so good looking that everyone starts to hate me. I say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful," but it's to no avail. They all pretend it's because I'm an egomaniac but I know they're just jealous.

Can anyone help?

TimothyO 05-18-2012 09:23 PM

During two recent sessions I out-hit our top two players on our team and one of the mid level players. I haven't played with them much being new to the team so they didn't know my game.

One of the top players joined us last night for the first time. I couldn't help but notice that he took his first three opportunities to return serves straight at my head eagerly while I was at net. But then I managed to volley them back and win the net exchange with him.

On serve I managed to win my service game handily while he started double faulting.

It went down hill for him from there.

I managed to return several serves right at him which he flubbed imto the net (lots of spin drove them below the net quickly).

After the session the other night the three of them discussed getting together over the weekend.

I was clearly excluded from the deliberations and not asked about my availability. They seemed annoyed that "the new guy" not only stood his ground but could out-play them. I was very disappointed to say the least as they certainly hit hard.

TimothyO 05-18-2012 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legend of Borg (Post 6537336)
This whole thread sounds like a huge, veiled ego trip about beating people at your club and then bragging about it on the boards.

There's no answer to your question.

Maybe they decided you're too manly for them and the ego is too much to take.

I've seen first hand what the OP is talking about and you've got it backwards. It's NOT the OP's ego in question.

It seems that clubs have pecking orders. Upset that order and you annoy people. They can't accept that maybe you're improving and catching up or surrpassing them. To them you're still the newb and they find it annoying that you can play as well as they do.

I've even seen situations where supposedly better players shank shots repeatedly and lose multiple matches and they're STILL considered the best players on the team. Nothing matters. They can cough up game winning UEs for the opponents over and over and if they can hit a spinny shot they're "great players".

nickarnold2000 05-18-2012 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TimothyO (Post 6546986)
During two recent sessions I out-hit our top two players on our team and one of the mid level players. I haven't played with them much being new to the team so they didn't know my game.

One of the top players joined us last night for the first time. I couldn't help but notice that he took his first three opportunities to return serves straight at my head eagerly while I was at net. But then I managed to volley them back and win the net exchange with him.

On serve I managed to win my service game handily while he started double faulting.

It went down hill for him from there.

I managed to return several serves right at him which he flubbed imto the net (lots of spin drove them below the net quickly).

After the session the other night the three of them discussed getting together over the weekend.

I was clearly excluded from the deliberations and not asked about my availability. They seemed annoyed that "the new guy" not only stood his ground but could out-play them. I was very disappointed to say the least as they certainly hit hard.

People put too much emphasis on winning when they should be really focused on improving, IMO. When I was younger I did this very same thing but then I discovered that by playing with better players(win or lose) ultimately pushes me to improve. And, in the long run, there's more benefit. Beat these guys in the next tournament!

Swissv2 05-18-2012 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wuppy (Post 6537566)
I have a problem because I'm so good looking that everyone starts to hate me. I say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful," but it's to no avail. They all pretend it's because I'm an egomaniac but I know they're just jealous.

Can anyone help?

Offer them an orange mocha frappuccino, because there is nothing one can do about being seriously incredibly good looking. Derek Zoolander attests to that.

Legend of Borg 05-19-2012 05:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TimothyO (Post 6546991)
I've seen first hand what the OP is talking about and you've got it backwards. It's NOT the OP's ego in question.

It seems that clubs have pecking orders. Upset that order and you annoy people. They can't accept that maybe you're improving and catching up or surrpassing them. To them you're still the newb and they find it annoying that you can play as well as they do.

I've even seen situations where supposedly better players shank shots repeatedly and lose multiple matches and they're STILL considered the best players on the team. Nothing matters. They can cough up game winning UEs for the opponents over and over and if they can hit a spinny shot they're "great players".

lol

I rest my case.....

Legend of Borg 05-19-2012 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickarnold2000 (Post 6547059)
People put too much emphasis on winning when they should be really focused on improving, IMO. When I was younger I did this very same thing but then I discovered that by playing with better players(win or lose) ultimately pushes me to improve. And, in the long run, there's more benefit. Beat these guys in the next tournament!

That's called having an ego-centered approach to playing and it's the most common IMO. You only play to earn respect and "kick people's asses" so to speak. The self-mastery and dedication involved in shaping a better one-hander or improving your serve consistency takes second place to proving how much better you are than the other guy.

On one hand you realize it's human nature, what can you do about it? Then you see people like Nadal who manage to remain humble and down to earth (or at least that's the image he portrays, since we can only wonder what goes on in his head) on a professional level even after winning multiple grand slams and holding the number one spot.

josofo 05-19-2012 07:57 AM

I played a guy for a couple years like 3 -4 times a week. When we started he was better than me. I mean h beat me up for a whole summer and two years later when I started routine ng him 62 or 63 I stopped calling him. The ironic part though is the people I play with now are about the same skill level as hiim

TimothyO 05-19-2012 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legend of Borg (Post 6547490)
lol

I rest my case.....

You made no case to rest. You offered nothing.

Maybe less time posting and more time on the courts might provide you with the experience to understand how pecking orders based on self delusion develop in clubs. Or maybe just more time spent in the real world among people instead of on your keyboard.

There are lots of players who think way too highly of themselves, especially at the mid-level+, who become nasty when beaten by "lowly rising players".

Look no further than the pros for evidence.

Observe how often highly ranked players are dispatched by lower or rising players and the higher ranked players then offer excuses to explain their loss. It couldn't possibly be due to better player by the "lower" player. It was new mysterious injury, or the blue clay, or my relative died, or illness, or the umpire made bad calls, etc. No, it was anything except being out-played.

It's simply human nature and it occurs not only in tennis but in other sports and walks of life.

Heck, you have many thousands of posts on this forum and got all nasty when you couldn't cite any evidence to support your position in this discussion and instead chose to belittle and insult others who cited personal experience.

Now please, do ague that pros never become nasty and seek excuses for losing to lower/rising players. That will be very entertaining for the rest of us.

TimothyO 05-19-2012 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legend of Borg (Post 6547527)
On one hand you realize it's human nature, what can you do about it? Then you see people like Nadal who manage to remain humble and down to earth (or at least that's the image he portrays, since we can only wonder what goes on in his head) on a professional level even after winning multiple grand slams and holding the number one spot.

Nope. When beaten too often he immediately makes excuses.

Even Federer, when beaten last year by Djokovic, complained that Djokovic made lucky shots more appropriate for a kid than a professional. It couldn't have been skill or mental toughness.

And Djoker has had plenty of excuses for not playing well recently (eg blue clay).

Legend of Borg 05-19-2012 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TimothyO (Post 6548016)
You made no case to rest. You offered nothing.

Maybe less time posting and more time on the courts might provide you with the experience to understand how pecking orders based on self delusion develop in clubs. Or maybe just more time spent in the real world among people instead of on your keyboard.

There are lots of players who think way too highly of themselves, especially at the mid-level+, who become nasty when beaten by "lowly rising players".

Look no further than the pros for evidence.

Observe how often highly ranked players are dispatched by lower or rising players and the higher ranked players then offer excuses to explain their loss. It couldn't possibly be due to better player by the "lower" player. It was new mysterious injury, or the blue clay, or my relative died, or illness, or the umpire made bad calls, etc. No, it was anything except being out-played.

It's simply human nature and it occurs not only in tennis but in other sports and walks of life.

Heck, you have many thousands of posts on this forum and got all nasty when you couldn't cite any evidence to support your position in this discussion and instead chose to belittle and insult others who cited personal experience.

Now please, do ague that pros never become nasty and seek excuses for losing to lower/rising players. That will be very entertaining for the rest of us.

I stated my case quite clearly in my first post. I firmly asserted my thought that the OP was full of **** for trying to big himself up on a tennis forum by posting how no one wants to play with him because he's started to "rock them" all of a sudden.

The OP then proceeded to ask for advice, yes, actual ADVICE on what to do in such a case. To me this is mind-numbingly stupid considering there isn't much to say at all about this. What can one say about this? You're too good? Your opponents are too proud? Go to another club? If I could give this thread a -1 star, I would but that's not possible.


Regarding the rest of your posts, I think the phrase you're looking for is the Dunning-Kruger effect and there's more than enough evidence to support it. I don't remember stating anywhere in my posts that people don't make excuses for their losses. Nadal is the exception, but he remains as such.

OrangePower 05-19-2012 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeShaun (Post 6537194)
were accustomed to rocking you?

Maybe I'm too competitive, but I like to take my lumps against better practice partners. The problem is that, once I finally turn the tables and play aggressively against them, now that I'm tired of them winning every "practice" point, they withdraw and become far less accessible as hitting partners.

What is wrong with me, or are these people being too delicate?

It's just a recreational sport. Man up and take your beatings. You didn't have any problem doling out the beatings before, you pansies! I do not understand these people.

When you play with these hitting partners, what are you doing? I mean, are you playing sets, just drilling from the baseline, playing out points from the baseline, what?

Asking because one way to make it enjoyable for both of you when your are playing with hitting partners of different levels is to do different things with each one... when I hit with weaker players we focus on getting good rallies going rather than trying to end points, but then with stronger players I play sets or other drills where we try win points.

RoddickAce 05-19-2012 11:06 AM

Maybe they need to beat people below them to boost their confidence.

And to improve, they probably have a group of better practice partners to play with.


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