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ga tennis 12-12-2012 07:04 AM

The Journey!!!
 
My daughter just turned 11. Over the past 7 years she has worked really hard and improves a little bit everyday. Its been alot of fun for me watching her grow into her game. My favorite thing that happens is when she has a break thru. Its like she stays the same for weeks then all of the sudden something just clicks and she gets it. This seems to happen at the strangest times. Like last night we started practice and for the first 30 minutes she was in one of those moods in which she was trying to start a fight with me for anything i would say. I got ****ed off and told her just go home because she was cutting into my sons practice time out here fussing with me and not putting in ANY effort. Then she said she wasnt going home and i gave her a second chance and she picked up her intensity and looked the best she has ever looked. She had one of those nights that let me know that one day IF it ever becomes her main focus she will be GREAT. For me being her main coach it is such a roller coaster ride. I am trying to get better and not let her practices dictate my mood. I have been guilty of when she has a bad practice and doesnt give 100% i get in a bad mood and dont have a good attitude around her. I know i have said and done alot of things over the past few years that i shouldnt have. I have gotten SOOO much better now because i now realize that my comments and attitude have such an effect on her development. I have always wanted one or both of my children to be professional tennis players. I was really good but not good enough to make a living playing tennis so I guess i am guilty of trying to live my dream thru my kids. I LOVE every minute i spend with my kids and feel truely blessed that god gave me two INCREDIBLE kids!!!! I just wanted to share what i go thru with my fellow posters.FOR ALL THE OTHER PARENTS ON HERE HANG IN THERE ENJOY THE RIDE AND TRY TO STAY POSITIVE THRU THE GOOD TIMES AND THE BAD!!!

TennisCoachIN 12-12-2012 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ga tennis (Post 7059192)
My daughter just turned 11. Over the past 7 years she has worked really hard and improves a little bit everyday. Its been alot of fun for me watching her grow into her game. My favorite thing that happens is when she has a break thru. Its like she stays the same for weeks then all of the sudden something just clicks and she gets it. This seems to happen at the strangest times. Like last night we started practice and for the first 30 minutes she was in one of those moods in which she was trying to start a fight with me for anything i would say. I got ****ed off and told her just go home because she was cutting into my sons practice time out here fussing with me and not putting in ANY effort. Then she said she wasnt going home and i gave her a second chance and she picked up her intensity and looked the best she has ever looked. She had one of those nights that let me know that one day IF it ever becomes her main focus she will be GREAT. For me being her main coach it is such a roller coaster ride. I am trying to get better and not let her practices dictate my mood. I have been guilty of when she has a bad practice and doesnt give 100% i get in a bad mood and dont have a good attitude around her. I know i have said and done alot of things over the past few years that i shouldnt have. I have gotten SOOO much better now because i now realize that my comments and attitude have such an effect on her development. I have always wanted one or both of my children to be professional tennis players. I was really good but not good enough to make a living playing tennis so I guess i am guilty of trying to live my dream thru my kids. I LOVE every minute i spend with my kids and feel truely blessed that god gave me two INCREDIBLE kids!!!! I just wanted to share what i go thru with my fellow posters.FOR ALL THE OTHER PARENTS ON HERE HANG IN THERE ENJOY THE RIDE AND TRY TO STAY POSITIVE THRU THE GOOD TIMES AND THE BAD!!!

So true, the times spent with my daughters on court is priceless. We laugh, tell jokes together, best times of my life. My two girls want to play college tennis and I have doubt they will. Lately, the board seems to have become a marketing tool for certain posters. So this type of post is a breathe of fresh air.

barringer97 12-12-2012 07:40 AM

Agree! Great thread, hopefully we can keep this thing going for multiple years. This thread should be about coaching our kids...good and bad! ;-)

My daughter is 8 and we are starting the "journey," and I have a three year old boy that tags a long with us on the courts. It would be nice to bounce some ideas off people, share some good times and bad ones.

Looking forward to it!

coaching32yrs 12-12-2012 07:44 AM

Ga tennis: The challege you face is that it is your dream, it may not be her dream. If it is her dream my suggestion is to do everything to support it with one caveat- make her education priority #1 and make that non-negotiable. Don't settle for a second rate education to pursue the tennis dream. You can do both, many do. Most do not. If it is not her dream that is fine- accept it joyfully.

arche3 12-12-2012 07:48 AM

Our kids are with us till they leave for college. I hope to impart the spirit of sports and competition with my son. To fight through adversity and prevail win or lose. It is a special thing to coach your kids. I cherish it. Every second of it.

ga tennis 12-12-2012 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coaching32yrs (Post 7059268)
Ga tennis: The challege you face is that it is your dream, it may not be her dream. If it is her dream my suggestion is to do everything to support it with one caveat- make her education priority #1 and make that non-negotiable. Don't settle for a second rate education to pursue the tennis dream. You can do both, many do. Most do not. If it is not her dream that is fine- accept it joyfully.

My wife makes sure of that. School ALWAYS comes first. My daughter loves school. Your right it is MY dream i just wish i could magically make it her dream.:) I have taken her to some of the best coaches in America and my dad says to me why are you wasting your money. He tells me all the time that it doesnt matter where i take her or how much money i spend until it becomes her passion i am just wasting my money. I try to defend my decisions by saying that im trying to give her all the tools so when or if she takes ownership 100% she will have the full arsenal. My father also says that i just need to let her play and not to worry and she will be GREAT!! My son is the exact opposite. I cant get him off the court. I know why he is like that. When he was young he would always ask if he could go hit with me and sissy and i would tell him no because she has to practice. Now he is 7 and he is a BEAST!!! Now i have to be careful what i say because i dont wanna brag too much about him in front of her.This week was the first time i have been able to take them together and do drills and train without them fighting. Its so much better than having to be on court with her for a couple and then have him come over for another hour. It was wearing me out!!

Postpre 12-12-2012 11:30 AM

gatennis, I'm curious, what has been a typical practice week (hours/days per week) for your girl as she has advanced from beginning to play until today? And for your boy as well? I have an 8 yr old boy and 6 year old girl who I'd like to work with together, but my boy is much further along (naturally). I'm waiting for the day when I can construct a practice that fully benefits both!

Chemist 12-12-2012 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ga tennis (Post 7059305)
My wife makes sure of that. School ALWAYS comes first. My daughter loves school. Your right it is MY dream i just wish i could magically make it her dream.:) I have taken her to some of the best coaches in America and my dad says to me why are you wasting your money. He tells me all the time that it doesnt matter where i take her or how much money i spend until it becomes her passion i am just wasting my money. I try to defend my decisions by saying that im trying to give her all the tools so when or if she takes ownership 100% she will have the full arsenal. My father also says that i just need to let her play and not to worry and she will be GREAT!! My son is the exact opposite. I cant get him off the court. I know why he is like that. When he was young he would always ask if he could go hit with me and sissy and i would tell him no because she has to practice. Now he is 7 and he is a BEAST!!! Now i have to be careful what i say because i dont wanna brag too much about him in front of her.This week was the first time i have been able to take them together and do drills and train without them fighting. Its so much better than having to be on court with her for a couple and then have him come over for another hour. It was wearing me out!!

Ga Tennis,

We have a lot in common. I have been living my dream thru my 16 yr old son as well. Luckily he also has a passion to train hard and improve his game, while keeping up with his school work. I learned how to play tennis by watching TV, reading books... and became a pretty good 4.0 player. But we are spending about $15,000 a year on his lessons and clinics. My son takes lessons from a former ATP player; but he agrees that I am his consultant (well, I am also his driver, stringer, cheer leader; and yes, the only person he has ever consulted after splitting sets). After seeing several top kids in our section are taken to tournaments by their coaches, I asked him a few weeks ago if we should do the same. He told me no and he would not feel as confident stepping onto the court without me around, because I had always been there from Day 1. I had tears in my eyes.

My son did not start to play tournament until he was 10 and half. He lost 1st round in his first 6-7 district tournaments. It took almost a whole year for him to win his 1st sectional match. 6 months later he won a match in his 1st national open in Flushing Meadow. Last year he did not get into B16 winter national. He will be playing B18 in Scottsdale in a few weeks.

Like you, I enjoy every minute watching him practice, competing, fitness training or warming him up before his match, discussing strategy, entering every point on Tennis Trekkar, and talking to his coach about his needs for improvement. My friends predicted that I would be really bored after my son goes to college in two years. Well, I surely hope I don't have to fly to watch his college matches.

hhollines 12-12-2012 11:46 AM

There's no playbook. I agree school is #1 then what makes your kid happy and that's my focus. I carefully pick spots to get involved in her tennis as I leave the tennis coaching/instruction to her coach. My job as the parent is to pick the right coach then let the coach, coach. I pick the right club and program then I let the the folks running the program do their job. I like the pro franchise owners that own the team but let the coach do the coaching and if they aren't happy, find a new coach.

I can't blend coaching and being a parent so I applaud those that can do it. I also prefer to stay behind the scenes b/c she must own this; she must want it; she must work at it . . . not me. It's her, not me. I had a very fulfilling childhood so I don't need to live through her; it's her life and the job of me and my wife is to raise a happy, caring and productive human being.

I read up on those parents of professional female players that raised great kids and post-career ended up having happy and fulfilling lives . . . like Kim Clisters (just as an example; happy junior player; mom; wife and one of the best ever).

ga tennis 12-12-2012 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Postpre (Post 7059637)
gatennis, I'm curious, what has been a typical practice week (hours/days per week) for your girl as she has advanced from beginning to play until today? And for your boy as well? I have an 8 yr old boy and 6 year old girl who I'd like to work with together, but my boy is much further along (naturally). I'm waiting for the day when I can construct a practice that fully benefits both!

My daughter started off playing just as long as I could keep her attention,then when she turned 7 she would practice about an hour a day with a few tournaments. At 8 I put her in a tennis academy that she practiced at 3 days a week for an hour and a half and got one private a week. She would hit with me the days off. The last year she plays around 8 hours a week plus some tournaments. I found that quality is so much better than quantity. She goes to her coach in Atlanta as often as I can afford. With both of your kids really work on technique and don't be in a hurry to compete, With your 6 year old just be patient and make it fun. When she's ready to go home go home. My little boy just turned 7. He really isn't on a schedule. He might play two hours one day and wanna play soccer or basketball the next. Im taking it slow with him right now. I made him hungry at a young age and I don't wanna make tennis too routine right now.I did it wrong with my daughter I kinda made tennis more work than fun and I'm still trying to fix that mistake.

ga tennis 12-12-2012 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chemist (Post 7059648)
Ga Tennis,

We have a lot in common. I have been living my dream thru my 16 yr old son as well. Luckily he also has a passion to train hard and improve his game, while keeping up with his school work. I learned how to play tennis by watching TV, reading books... and became a pretty good 4.0 player. But we are spending about $15,000 a year on his lessons and clinics. My son takes lessons from a former ATP player; but he agrees that I am his consultant (well, I am also his driver, stringer, cheer leader; and yes, the only person he has ever consulted after splitting sets). After seeing several top kids in our section are taken to tournaments by their coaches, I asked him a few weeks ago if we should do the same. He told me no and he would not feel as confident stepping onto the court without me around, because I had always been there from Day 1. I had tears in my eyes.

My son did not start to play tournament until he was 10 and half. He lost 1st round in his first 6-7 district tournaments. It took almost a whole year for him to win his 1st sectional match. 6 months later he won a match in his 1st national open in Flushing Meadow. Last year he did not get into B16 winter national. He will be playing B18 in Scottsdale in a few weeks.

Like you, I enjoy every minute watching him practice, competing, fitness training or warming him up before his match, discussing strategy, entering every point on Tennis Trekkar, and talking to his coach about his needs for improvement. My friends predicted that I would be really bored after my son goes to college in two years. Well, I surely hope I don't have to fly to watch his college matches.

Congratulations!!!! Sounds like you did a great job. Your son sounds like a really good player with a love for our great sport. I'm loving every minute of it!!!!! I would have shed many tears if my child told me what your son told you. Good luck!!!!!

ga tennis 12-12-2012 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hhollines (Post 7059662)
There's no playbook. I agree school is #1 then what makes your kid happy and that's my focus. I carefully pick spots to get involved in her tennis as I leave the tennis coaching/instruction to her coach. My job as the parent is to pick the right coach then let the coach, coach. I pick the right club and program then I let the the folks running the program do their job. I like the pro franchise owners that own the team but let the coach do the coaching and if they aren't happy, find a new coach.

I can't blend coaching and being a parent so I applaud those that can do it. I also prefer to stay behind the scenes b/c she must own this; she must want it; she must work at it . . . not me. It's her, not me. I had a very fulfilling childhood so I don't need to live through her; it's her life and the job of me and my wife is to raise a happy, caring and productive human being.

I read up on those parents of professional female players that raised great kids and post-career ended up having happy and fulfilling lives . . . like Kim Clisters (just as an example; happy junior player; mom; wife and one of the best ever).

Being a parent coach is VERY difficult. Living in HICKVILLE USA tennis isn't exactly a popular sport. She is the only kid near her age within a 45 mile range that plays tennis. I have to be her coach. I'm not complaining Its very rewarding in soooo many ways.When she split sets in tournaments those minutes talking before the third are priceless.I got your e-mail and somehow deleted it. I got a new phone and am clueless on how to work it.Send me another and we can talk.

Chemist 12-12-2012 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ga tennis (Post 7060266)
Congratulations!!!! Sounds like you did a great job. Your son sounds like a really good player with a love for our great sport. I'm loving every minute of it!!!!! I would have shed many tears if my child told me what your son told you. Good luck!!!!!

Thanks. He is a great kid, always wanting to improve his games. Good luck to your daughter and your son!

Soianka 12-12-2012 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ga tennis (Post 7059305)
My wife makes sure of that. School ALWAYS comes first. My daughter loves school. Your right it is MY dream i just wish i could magically make it her dream.:) I have taken her to some of the best coaches in America and my dad says to me why are you wasting your money. He tells me all the time that it doesnt matter where i take her or how much money i spend until it becomes her passion i am just wasting my money. I try to defend my decisions by saying that im trying to give her all the tools so when or if she takes ownership 100% she will have the full arsenal. My father also says that i just need to let her play and not to worry and she will be GREAT!! My son is the exact opposite. I cant get him off the court. I know why he is like that. When he was young he would always ask if he could go hit with me and sissy and i would tell him no because she has to practice. Now he is 7 and he is a BEAST!!! Now i have to be careful what i say because i dont wanna brag too much about him in front of her.This week was the first time i have been able to take them together and do drills and train without them fighting. Its so much better than having to be on court with her for a couple and then have him come over for another hour. It was wearing me out!!

How did tennis become your dream? When you were a kid was it your dream also?

Or were your parents the ones directing you toward tennis?

gplracer 12-12-2012 07:12 PM

Ga Tennis my son is 10 maybe we can get ourvkids together to hit sometime. I do not think you are that far away.

rptennis 12-12-2012 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ga tennis (Post 7059192)
My daughter just turned 11. Over the past 7 years she has worked really hard and improves a little bit everyday. Its been alot of fun for me watching her grow into her game. My favorite thing that happens is when she has a break thru. Its like she stays the same for weeks then all of the sudden something just clicks and she gets it. This seems to happen at the strangest times. Like last night we started practice and for the first 30 minutes she was in one of those moods in which she was trying to start a fight with me for anything i would say. I got ****ed off and told her just go home because she was cutting into my sons practice time out here fussing with me and not putting in ANY effort. Then she said she wasnt going home and i gave her a second chance and she picked up her intensity and looked the best she has ever looked. She had one of those nights that let me know that one day IF it ever becomes her main focus she will be GREAT. For me being her main coach it is such a roller coaster ride. I am trying to get better and not let her practices dictate my mood. I have been guilty of when she has a bad practice and doesnt give 100% i get in a bad mood and dont have a good attitude around her. I know i have said and done alot of things over the past few years that i shouldnt have. I have gotten SOOO much better now because i now realize that my comments and attitude have such an effect on her development. I have always wanted one or both of my children to be professional tennis players. I was really good but not good enough to make a living playing tennis so I guess i am guilty of trying to live my dream thru my kids. I LOVE every minute i spend with my kids and feel truely blessed that god gave me two INCREDIBLE kids!!!! I just wanted to share what i go thru with my fellow posters.FOR ALL THE OTHER PARENTS ON HERE HANG IN THERE ENJOY THE RIDE AND TRY TO STAY POSITIVE THRU THE GOOD TIMES AND THE BAD!!!

Amen brother - you said it right. Enjoy the ride!

Olybel 12-13-2012 03:30 AM

Hello to everyone,

Compliments for Talk Tennis forum and compliments also for this thread.

My 7 year old son introduced me to tennis half year ago when he brought brochure to home and started with training in local academy. Before that I was rarely even watched Nole games though everyone else in my family is fan of him.

It is logical that we as a parents have dreams , wishes and hopes for our children. So they have also. It is crucial that kids dreams wishes and hopes are set higher than ours for them.

There is no use if I dream his Wimbledon trophy if he doesn't.

As Kahlil Gilbran says:

....You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them be like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.....




English is not my native language therefore I apologize if any mistake is made.

ga tennis 12-13-2012 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gplracer (Post 7060381)
Ga Tennis my son is 10 maybe we can get ourvkids together to hit sometime. I do not think you are that far away.

YES!!! My new email address is tzilla112701@gmail.com We are about an hour and 15 minutes away from you guys.

ga tennis 12-13-2012 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soianka (Post 7060363)
How did tennis become your dream? When you were a kid was it your dream also?

Or were your parents the ones directing you toward tennis?

I picked up tennis late. I started tennis at 13. I became obssessed with tennis and played hours a day. In my home town we had a family move there from California. All three of the sons played d1 college tennis. The youngest son was my age and the father helped me out and basically made me a backboard for his son to train against. I had played every sport before then so i had a very good athletic base. By the time i was in the 18s i was number one in GA. My mother never watched me play and my father lived 3 hours away so i had NO parental support. I was fortunate that my mother remarried a man who was very well off. In the 8th grade they sent me to live in Sarasota at Nicks academy. It was INCREDIBLE!!!! I use to watch 12 year old Seles train hours a day. I use to hang out and go swimming at night with A.A. I would get to play basketball with Aaron Krickstein and Jimmy Arias. I loved it!!! So no my parents did not push me at all. It was all me. My daughter likes to say daddy you didnt even play tennis when you were my age so you dont understand what im going thru. She is right. Im trying EVERYTHING i can to make her love tennis the way i do. I hope one day she really starts to love tennis but if she doesnt worst case scenario is a full tennis scholarship. THANK GOD FOR TITLE 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pro_Tour_630 12-13-2012 06:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olybel (Post 7060761)
Hello to everyone,

Compliments for Talk Tennis forum and compliments also for this thread.

My 7 year old son introduced me to tennis half year ago when he brought brochure to home and started with training in local academy. Before that I was rarely even watched Nole games though everyone else in my family is fan of him.

It is logical that we as a parents have dreams , wishes and hopes for our children. So they have also. It is crucial that kids dreams wishes and hopes are set higher than ours for them.

There is no use if I dream his Wimbledon trophy if he doesn't.

As Kahlil Gilbran says:

....You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them be like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.....




English is not my native language therefore I apologize if any mistake is made.

with all respect to KG, he had no kids so I doubt he knows what is going on with regards to parenting, he had no responsibilities and he drank himself to death.........BTW I am from his home town


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