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-   -   Called out for poor behavior today! (http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/showthread.php?t=459144)

bluetrain4 03-28-2013 08:54 PM

Called out for poor behavior today!
 
I'm a really nice guy, seriously. But, when playing tennis, I can get obnoxious. Not all the time, but sometimes Today, I was playing a guy I know from my racquet club but had never played in singles. I was playing awful in the first set and started muttering loudly to myself, hit a few balls hard across the net and into the back tarp after losing a point, threw my racquet against the tarp from a close distance, but pretty hard, and was generally acting like a child.

My opponent threw up his hands, and said "that's it, I'm through." I can understand his annoyance, but I was surprised he'd actually want to stop. I play singles regularly with a couple of guys who can be obnoxious just like me to varying degrees, and we generally just laugh at each other's antics when it's all over.

But, anyway, I took his disgust to heart. As he came to the net to collect his stuff, I simply asked him to give me another chance. I said, "I'm genuinely sorry, you're right, it's immature and obnoxious, I'll stop." He explained to me that obnoxious players is one of the reasons he stopped playing in certain leagues. Is he maybe a little oversensitive? Maybe, but I totally think he had a legit point. I mean, I am an adult and should know better. During a change over, and the end of the match, I apologized again, and told him it was a good wake up call.

And, I actually played much better thereafter (though, in all honesty, I have freaked out in the past and still played well).

But, anyway, lesson learned.

Overdrive 03-28-2013 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluetrain4 (Post 7311333)
I'm a really nice guy, seriously. But, when playing tennis, I can get obnoxious. Not all the time, but sometimes Today, I was playing a guy I now from my racquet club but had never played in singles. I was playing awful in the first set and started muttering loudly to myself, hit a few balls hard across the net and into the back tarp after losing a point, threw my racquet against the tarp from a close distance, but pretty hard, and was generally acting like a child.

My opponent threw up his hands, and said "that's it, I'm through." I can understand his annoyance, but I was surprised he'd actually want to stop. I play singles regularly with a couple of guys who can be obnoxious just like me to varying degrees, and we generally just laugh at each other's antics when it's all over.

But, anyway, I took his disgust to heart. As he came to the net to collect his stuff, I simply asked him to give me another chance. I said, "I'm genuinely sorry, you're right, it's immature and obnoxious, I'll stop." He explained to me that obnoxious players is one of the reasons he stopped playing in certain leagues. Is he maybe a little oversensitive? Maybe, but I totally think he had a legit point. I mean, I am an adult and should now better. During a change over, and the end of the match, I apologized again, and told him it was a good wake up call.

And, I actually played much better thereafter (though, in all honesty, I have freaked out in the past and still played well).

But, anyway, lesson learned.


asusundevils1971 03-28-2013 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluetrain4 (Post 7311333)
I'm a really nice guy, seriously. But, when playing tennis, I can get obnoxious. Not all the time, but sometimes Today, I was playing a guy I now from my racquet club but had never played in singles. I was playing awful in the first set and started muttering loudly to myself, hit a few balls hard across the net and into the back tarp after losing a point, threw my racquet against the tarp from a close distance, but pretty hard, and was generally acting like a child.

My opponent threw up his hands, and said "that's it, I'm through." I can understand his annoyance, but I was surprised he'd actually want to stop. I play singles regularly with a couple of guys who can be obnoxious just like me to varying degrees, and we generally just laugh at each other's antics when it's all over.

But, anyway, I took his disgust to heart. As he came to the net to collect his stuff, I simply asked him to give me another chance. I said, "I'm genuinely sorry, you're right, it's immature and obnoxious, I'll stop." He explained to me that obnoxious players is one of the reasons he stopped playing in certain leagues. Is he maybe a little oversensitive? Maybe, but I totally think he had a legit point. I mean, I am an adult and should know better. During a change over, and the end of the match, I apologized again, and told him it was a good wake up call.

And, I actually played much better thereafter (though, in all honesty, I have freaked out in the past and still played well).

But, anyway, lesson learned.

The ATP tour is waiting for someone like you..

NLBwell 03-28-2013 09:18 PM

If he's going to quit every time someone acts like that, he won't be playing much tennis.
Yes, it was bad behavior (yes, I'm guilty of it, too). Try not to do it anymore, because it isn't right.

TTMR 03-28-2013 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluetrain4 (Post 7311333)
I'm a really nice guy, seriously. But, when playing tennis, I can get obnoxious. Not all the time, but sometimes Today, I was playing a guy I now from my racquet club but had never played in singles. I was playing awful in the first set and started muttering loudly to myself, hit a few balls hard across the net and into the back tarp after losing a point, threw my racquet against the tarp from a close distance, but pretty hard, and was generally acting like a child.

My opponent threw up his hands, and said "that's it, I'm through." I can understand his annoyance, but I was surprised he'd actually want to stop. I play singles regularly with a couple of guys who can be obnoxious just like me to varying degrees, and we generally just laugh at each other's antics when it's all over.

But, anyway, I took his disgust to heart. As he came to the net to collect his stuff, I simply asked him to give me another chance. I said, "I'm genuinely sorry, you're right, it's immature and obnoxious, I'll stop." He explained to me that obnoxious players is one of the reasons he stopped playing in certain leagues. Is he maybe a little oversensitive? Maybe, but I totally think he had a legit point. I mean, I am an adult and should know better. During a change over, and the end of the match, I apologized again, and told him it was a good wake up call.

And, I actually played much better thereafter (though, in all honesty, I have freaked out in the past and still played well).

But, anyway, lesson learned.

Your opponent is of the "new breed" of tennis player that feel the need to be politically correct and try to act like a saint on and off court at all times. I guess they fear bad publicity in this media-driven world.

The tennis community needs more Macs, Connors', Nastases and Rios'. Remember that women like the bad boy racquet smashers like Marat Safin. They care nothing for the calm stolidity of a John Isner. To whom would you rather be akin?

Your incident reminds me of the time after I lost (6-0, 6-2) my opponent refused to shake my hand because I told him he just got lucky and that I was off my game. People's egos are so fragile.

bluetrain4 03-28-2013 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TTMR (Post 7311366)
Your opponent is of the "new breed" of tennis player that feel the need to be politically correct and try to act like a saint on and off court at all times. I guess they fear bad publicity in this media-driven world.

The tennis community needs more Macs, Connors', Nastases and Rios'. Remember that women like the bad boy racquet smashers like Marat Safin. They care nothing for the calm stolidity of a John Isner. To whom would you rather be akin?

Your incident reminds me of the time after I lost (6-0, 6-2) my opponent refused to shake my hand because I told him he just got lucky and that I was off my game. People's egos are so fragile.

Well, yeah, as I said, I thought he was being oversensitive. Lots of players, including adults, can be obnoxious to varying degrees on the court. Obviously it can be annoying and unpleasant, but enough to quit? But, it's his standard, and he has that right. I wanted to keep playing, so I adjusted my behavior. Like I said before, I know plenty of players who either act the same way at times, or simply don't care. But, this guy did care, and to be a diplomatic and a good guy, and show him that I took his concerns seriously, I adjusted my behavior.

KoaUka 03-28-2013 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TTMR (Post 7311366)
Your opponent is of the "new breed" of tennis player that feel the need to be politically correct and try to act like a saint on and off court at all times. I guess they fear bad publicity in this media-driven world.

The tennis community needs more Macs, Connors', Nastases and Rios'. Remember that women like the bad boy racquet smashers like Marat Safin. They care nothing for the calm stolidity of a John Isner. To whom would you rather be akin?

Your incident reminds me of the time after I lost (6-0, 6-2) my opponent refused to shake my hand because I told him he just got lucky and that I was off my game. People's egos are so fragile.

Was he a pusher?

yonexRx32 03-28-2013 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TTMR (Post 7311366)
Your opponent is of the "new breed" of tennis player that feel the need to be politically correct and try to act like a saint on and off court at all times. I guess they fear bad publicity in this media-driven world.

The tennis community needs more Macs, Connors', Nastases and Rios'. Remember that women like the bad boy racquet smashers like Marat Safin. They care nothing for the calm stolidity of a John Isner. To whom would you rather be akin?

Your incident reminds me of the time after I lost (6-0, 6-2) my opponent refused to shake my hand because I told him he just got lucky and that I was off my game. People's egos are so fragile.

Yeah.. you can act up if you have the skills of Nastase, Connors, McEnroe and the majors to back it up. Short of that, just keep playing..in silence.

Relinquis 03-29-2013 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TTMR (Post 7311366)
[...]
Your incident reminds me of the time after I lost (6-0, 6-2) my opponent refused to shake my hand because I told him he just got lucky and that I was off my game. People's egos are so fragile.

Dripping in irony...

Say Chi Sin Lo 03-29-2013 01:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TTMR (Post 7311366)
Your opponent is of the "new breed" of tennis player that feel the need to be politically correct and try to act like a saint on and off court at all times. I guess they fear bad publicity in this media-driven world.

The tennis community needs more Macs, Connors', Nastases and Rios'. Remember that women like the bad boy racquet smashers like Marat Safin. They care nothing for the calm stolidity of a John Isner. To whom would you rather be akin?

Your incident reminds me of the time after I lost (6-0, 6-2) my opponent refused to shake my hand because I told him he just got lucky and that I was off my game. People's egos are so fragile.

Dude, dont ruin another thread with your inability to act civilized. You're going to call out on people's egos when you refused to shake someone's hands, and claimed to be "off your game"? Please, you were one game away from smelling like a bakery shop, you just got owned. If you were competitive but "off your game", the scoreline would have been closer.

Anyways, back to the OP. It's nice that you were able to instantly reflect upon yourself on those obnoxious behaviors. I can't stand such behaviors too, but I also understand everyone process these moments differently. I'd say both parties were in the wrong. Both you and your opponent for obvious reasons.

DaveInBradenton 03-29-2013 04:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluetrain4 (Post 7311333)
I'm a really nice guy, seriously. But, when playing tennis, I can get obnoxious. Not all the time, but sometimes Today, I was playing a guy I know from my racquet club but had never played in singles. I was playing awful in the first set and started muttering loudly to myself, hit a few balls hard across the net and into the back tarp after losing a point, threw my racquet against the tarp from a close distance, but pretty hard, and was generally acting like a child. ..............

............... I mean, I am an adult and should know better. During a change over, and the end of the match, I apologized again, and told him it was a good wake up call. ..............

........But, anyway, lesson learned.

It's easy to be "a really nice guy" when you're playing well or winning.

Personally, I play the game for fun. When an opponent has a temper tantrum, some of the fun goes out of the experience for me. I would avoid playing that person again.

There are many examples in the pro ranks (playing for money & prestige) of players who compete with great intensity, but always exhibit good manners.

Hopefully, "lesson learned" and you will change your behavior. If so, you will gain respect from your opponents because of your skills and your personality.

Have fun,
Dave

gmatheis 03-29-2013 04:17 AM

Considerig this was a friendly match not a tournament or league I understand the guy's reaction. He's there to have a good time, and doesn't want to deal with someone throwing their racket and hitting balls all over ... for him it ruins the good time he wants to have on the court.

Nothing against the OP ... I also understand the emotions you go through when things arent working on the court.

Just really wanted to thank the OP for being the kind of guy who realizes his actions were upsetting the other guy and was cool enough to accept responsibility and apologize. World needs more people that step up when called out on something rather than getting all defensive.

Nostradamus 03-29-2013 04:42 AM

I think we use tennis to let out some STEAM from general everyday frustrations and difficulties. so it is OK to throw few temper tantrums.

BUT ONe thing you have to remember, you should NEVER direct your temper tentrums directly at your opponents or opponent. Direct it at yourself, or backfence or Umpire.

DaveInBradenton 03-29-2013 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nostradamus (Post 7311731)
BUT ONe thing you have to remember, you should NEVER direct your temper tentrums directly at your opponents or opponent.

Direct it at yourself, or backfence or Umpire.

Or,......... your racket!

Once you've smashed a perfectly good racket with perfectly good strings, only then will you remember in the future to act like a mature adult on the tennis courts.

(The above does not apply if you are rich or have a racket sponsor)

Racket smashing therapy.

Good luck to all,
Dave

Govnor 03-29-2013 06:07 AM

I've only been around something like this once. I did think the guy was a total jerk and loved winning after facing match points!!

SpitFire 03-29-2013 06:12 AM

I think the two of you are at fault. (lol, I made a pun)

1. You let your temper get the best of you.
2. I'm trying to say this the most polite way possible, but I can't. I think your opponent was a little *****.

I've got more respect for you though, since you recognize your shortcomings and are actively going to correct it. If your opponent was a true sportsman, they'd finish the match, and choose not play you again. I'd be curious as to what the score was when he threw in the towel. It could be his way of conceding play without having to technically lose, and put it on you instead.

Just remember, when you act poorly on court, it's giving your opponent a mental advantage. Don't give that advantage to your opponent.

DaveInBradenton 03-29-2013 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpitFire (Post 7311845)
I think the two of you are at fault. (lol, I made a pun)

1. You let your temper get the best of you.........

Just remember, when you act poorly on court, it's giving your opponent a mental advantage. Don't give that advantage to your opponent.

Well stated.

Cindysphinx 03-29-2013 06:42 AM

There's so much drama in men's tennis. :shock:

sovertennis 03-29-2013 06:43 AM

Interesting that so many of the responses here have been scornful of the opponent, but we've read only Blue Train's account of his Day of Rage. Slamming balls back across the net (ie toward you opponent) is really aggressive, inappropriate behavior. Combine that with the throwing of the racket, etc, and I'm not sure I'd want to be on the court with you either. You manned-up by apologizing though, which is the upshot of the whole episode.

AtomicForehand 03-29-2013 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cindysphinx (Post 7311901)
There's so much drama in men's tennis. :shock:

QFT. ;)

10 cindys


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