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Old 01-25-2010, 05:40 PM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,470
Default ESPN announces ESPN-W.

ESPN today announced newest addition to their already spiralling line up. Channel ESPN-W will debut on April 1 this year for paid subscribers and will be fully dedicated to broadcasting tennis matches of Williams sisters. "ESPN-W has figured out what US sports lovers wants" says T.Hissucks, director,Fully Rotten Broadcasting, a marketing research firm."This is a classic case of demand exceeding the supply.US Tennis lovers need more Williams tennis matches and ESPN-W aims to fill in that void.It is almost impossible for any other channel to pull this off" notes H.Aplessvuwer of the Tennis times magazine.

ESPN Tennis Program director Wewil kilu indicated that viewers can expect non stop williams matches interspersed with guest appearances by Lisa Raymond, Vania King, Kevin Kim Andy Roddick and other Us tennis players.Mr.Kilu also indicates that the channel will air special shows and one minute clinics. "In our previews we have seen tremendous response from our audience for 'Shove it down the throat' and 'Whack a linesmen' shows. With ESPN-W , Audience will never have to search for a Williams Tennis match."It doesnt matter what tournament is going on and which other players are in the line up.We will find out a way to show a williams match.If Williams sisters arent playing singles,double, exhibition or even practising, we will dust off the old tapes" confirms Kilu.

According to financial firm DowntheSink, ESPN-W will have an estimated viewership of 0.000000000000000001% and will be fully profitable in 10000000 years.

However not everyone is warm to ESPN's efforts. A law suit is being filed by TWforum's Williams fans.The law suit alleges that ESPN has been doing this kind of programming for several years and ESPN-W is merely an effort to make more money.Several members of the forum independently confirmed to our correspondent that "ESPN's definition of tennis is Williams sisters.I dont remember seeing any other tennis player on ESPN and the other day i didnt realize it was Roger Federer playing.ESPN quickly corrected the mistake and switched back to a Venus match for everyone's relief. I am not even sure how ESPN-W will be any different from ESPN". Commenting on this lawsuit spokesperson for ESPN ,I.gnoreU indicated that ESPN-W is a result of ESPN listening to user needs. "With ESPN-W , we can now occassionally show other US players on ESPN2. Granted we will still fill ESPN2 with Williams matches but we plan on allocating atleast 1% of airtime for other US players and 0.005% of airtime for Non Us Players. It is a tremendous oppurtunity for US audience to see other players play tennis".

T.Hissucks = This Sucks
H.Aplessvuwer = Hapless Viewer
Wewil kilu = We Will Kill You
I.gnoreU = Ignore You

Special thanks to raiden031 for the following post
I am unbeaten against Federer, Nadal , Sampras, Agassi.

Last edited by Tennis_Monk; 01-26-2010 at 06:22 PM.
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