I used to be fearless flyer but in 2007 during a super-routine flight to Rome, left engine failed and burst in flames. You know, with all appropriate FX effects - white and black smoke and stuff. Since than I am definitely not the same. I started to think which is not a good thing when your *** is 10km above ground.
You definitely need to find your way to control the fear. When I read your posts, it does sound severe. The bad thing about aerofobia is that usually it is not alone and represents just a manifestation of something that's deeply rooted inside of you. Fear blocks us in so many ways. You need to unlock it yourself and a trained professional could certainly help.
I wish you all the best!