Newest PseudoFed Blog, and one of the best so far!
Hello My great peoples!
Yesterday, 26 of the Junes 2012, was My rest day at the Wimbledon Championships after My first round match.
Every year you will be findings that us very top players (that win on blue clay H1STORY)) have a routines. This year I thought I should break this habit. So I dressed in a special disguises and mixed with you normal people in the grounds of the All of Britain Club, of the Law and Tennis Associations. I wanted to see how it felt to My fans. Here are My discoverings!
Upon entering the gate two men offered to look through My GOAT bag and give Me a security check. I agreed after a little fight. It’s a shame My friend David ‘Soprano’ Nalbandian has already left, he is a good one to have around in these situations.
It was a learning experience to see things from the other side of the periscopes. But let’s stick with the very important things:
1. The food was quite acceptable. I sampled everything I could within reasons. Critique? Yes. I discovered I could buy “Fish and Chips”, but not the chips alone. I also may have purchased a burger with the chips but again, these could not be separated. OK for meat eaters. But hardly appropriate for vegetable people.
2. Mr. Wimbledon has placed a generic statue as a gesture as if to say “reserved”. This will be replaced upon My retirement with a bronze statue of Me.
3. Judy Murray (I don’t think she is related to Mr. Wimbledon) should be commended for her tireless work for tennis. Seriously, she is always there with her players and she doesn’t mind mixing with normal people (odd). She supported many players today as she is the top boss for one of My organisations, the Fed Cup. If the Queen does not honour her as Lady Judy Murray I would be willing to visit her palace in Buckingham and fire her.
4. Ivan Lentils was wearing very fashionable sun protection spectacles today. Firstly I was relieved. You see in Roland Garros Boris Becker came to one of My matches wearing extra large ones. So it was pleasing to see something so sharp on Mr. Lentils. At least it was not from 1976. I have a little doggy fan called Margaret Mayhem. She follows My tweeting account and I follow hers. She is no ordinary doggy. She has special access to Ivan so she has promised to find out the make of these glasses for My collection. If you’re not already following her humble tweetings please do: @maggiemay_hem
5. There is a part of Mr. Wimbledon’s garden that apparently used to be named after a player. He was from a long time ago when the world used to be in black and white and it was named, “Henman’s Hilltop”. After a short discussions one of My fans today renamed it, “Humble Hill” in My honour which I accept. So please refer to it as this from this moment onwards in time.
6. During the evening I walked passed Mr. Harmans. He is one of Britains finest and this year is celebrating his 25th Championships. His tweetings name is: @NeilHarmanTimes - unfortunately we were both in a hurry so he did not get the pleasure of meeting Me. What did I learn from Mr. Harmans in such a short moment? Immaculately dressed, almost to My standards and also insists of mixing with the normal people (odd).
7. There are Wimbledon Shops where you are able to buy little gifts to remember the day you came to see Me. I encourage you to buy some mementos if you get the opportunities. However, they sell some tennis balls that are of an incorrect size. Do not try to play tennis with these please as they are the size of footballs.
I also noticed the shop items had price tags which surprised Me. I think this is because of the credit crunches and the degradable banks.
All in all this was a fun experience. Would I recommend you visit where Mr. Wimbledon lives? Yes. It’s certainly a lifetime ambition for each and every one of you, especially if I am playing. Would I recommend for someone to be a normal person? No.
All Hail Daenerys Stormborn, The Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Of the Andals, Rhoynar & the First Men, Khaleesi, Breaker of Shackles, & Mother of Dragons