Originally Posted by sphinx780
Yep, I'm aware of the studies. It's been a while since I've delved into this subject in depth. Are there recent studies that remove more of the variables in regards to using the definition of living together as being viable for commitment? Isn't that what marriage is about, making that lifelong commitment to each other? I wouldn't say that moving in with someone and in many cases having a child with someone ends up being a decision made with that same intent.
I'd be more interested in seeing studies comparing married couples to non married couples that have fully expressed their lifelong commitment towards one another.
Now, before assuming that I'm saying marriage isn't the way to go. Consider that I've been happily married for a decade, my parents for 37yrs, my grandparents at 66 and 69 respectively.
I'm more interested in seeing if married couples are more stable compared to a 'living together' couple due to the positive effects of declaring a life long vow or if it is simply the fear of negative ramifications that keep more married couples in place. I was curious how TMF defined marriage. Is it the ceremony, the vows, the legal obligation? Can one be removed and not the other? If you only study compared to non-legally obligated couples who have had their own wedding, does the comparison from married to non-married change?
Interesting. We can all give real life examples too. My co-worker is not married but has been living with her paramour for I believe 15 years or so. The other day she got off the phone and remarked "Oh "Aiden" just bought a truck. She found out just then while he was at the dealer that he was doing this. She had no idea he was even car shopping. I could not imagine buying a vehicle without discussing it with my wife first. It just struck me as bizarre and something no healthy married couple would ever do and nor would I want to do that. She has remarked that if they would have had kids they would have gotten married. At that moment it reaffirmed to me the difference between shacking up and getting married. The house is "hers" he bought "his" truck with "his" money. Plus the akwardness of labeling the paramour. She's 42 and calls him her "boyfriend".