Originally Posted by Cindysphinx
I have captained teams continuously since 2006. Maybe it is my imagination, but it seems like more players are failing to honor their commitments nowadays.
Just this year, I had one returning player commit to my spring team in November and several times after that. When it came time to register in April, she stopped answering my emails and never signed up. It got to the point that I worried something terrible had happened, but I have learned she plays regularly at her club. Her disappearing act came so late, I wasn't able to find a replacement and we had shortage of singles players.
I had another lady agree to join my tri-level team. As the roster filled, she proposed another player as her partner. I looked up the other player and learned she was weak and not a frequent partner of this lady. I didn't wish to use my last roster spot on her. The lady who had agreed to join then wrote to me to say that she was dropping off the team because she hadn't received the team code for registration, so she was joining another team instead.
I have had two other ladies agree to join my team, only to go completely silent. They have ignored emails point-blank asking them if they are going to play.
I'm sorry, but that is rude, rude, rude. Don't accept and have a captain hold a spot for you for months and then back out absent a darn good reason.
If you will only join if your partner joins also or if you have other terms to negotiate, say that up front.
If you must back out, *say so* and don't go all Ostrich-With-Head-In-Sand. The captain who held your spot deserves an honest explanation (if you ever hope to be invited back).
And for all that is good and holy, don't gin up a bogus reason like you didn't receive the team code, 'cause that makes you look like the victim of massive head trauma.
If this is how the captain of a successful team is treated, I cannot imagine the horrors visited upon captains of new or less successful teams.
This change in social norms is real. Of course there are generational changes, but that likely does not account for this observation since they are probably the same individuals who over time have adopted a style that used (and still) to be called "rude".
I can only point to the take-over of electronic (vs older fashioned) communication for this. Sure, snicker if you want but do you disagree that 1) Cindy's observation is not on the rise? and 2) that you have another explanation for it?