As you all know, not every 4.5 guy plays the same, and not every 5.0 girl does either, whether it's 5.0, 5.5, or higher.
It's always a question of matchups.
There are hardly ever a match between men and women where it's a serious match by both players.
Lots of rules can be involved. In my past, things like "not net play"..."no flat serves into the body",....and of course, "no hard spin serves into the body", where everyday practice rules when practicing with the higher level women.