Originally Posted by WoodIndoors
My player, 9 years old, started a year ago, likes to hit hard, wants to win every single point in practise. She runs like h.ll to reach every ball. Real fighter.
Now she says she wants to start playing tournaments. My plan is to postpone that until her game is "ready" enough. But she says she can't wait to start competing because she wants to win 'real matches' and also because she's "soo eager to make the other girl cry for losing her".
Should I try to convince her that that's a wrong motive to play tennis? That tennis is "just a game"? It seems pretty important to her
She could well be an ISTP or ESTP from the sounds of it. Think ESTP BJ Penn, and his first BJJ/Jack-of-all-trade's coaches reaction to him.
First time sparring w. him, and out of nowhere, bop-bop-bop...bop-bop-bop. ESTP's love to bop. ESPECIALLY at the start, that's the great thing about their spirit.
Uber confident from the start, out of the box ready to compete in sports, sounds like it to me. Just a hunch.
Tennis is a VERY good sport for their natural spirits. It's a VERY good match. For an INFP, that's just not enough. Too much inspiration required of a "spiritual" nature, to extract their best...better, more "comfy" playing the behind-the-scenes-hero...better for team sports where they can blend in, and not feel "selfish" about going for it.
ESTP's like to talk trash in general, it's what it is. It's not necessarily a bad thing. U have to understand, that if u take that away from them, they're no longer the same animal. That spirit, that gives life it's pulse. A little ribbing is a GOOD thing. So many who hate on Agassi, just don't get that. U take that away, u lose the soul.
Everything up to a point, and in balance. Bad things happen when people try to force their souls on others, w/out stopping to think why it is that we have very obviously different *spirit-orientations* irrespective of being family.
Look at what happened to Marinovich (ISTP ruthless like a Bob Knight, when out of control, and not seeing it as important enough to become balanced in type), and his ESTP son. Bad things happen when we ignore the soul. But the most important part of that story, is how the elder Marinovich later sought out Niednagel, with one pertinent question...*why?* Where did it all go wrong, long after it didn't matter anymore. That was the dad in him talking, proving it's never too late to prove that u cared all along. That was really heart-warming and inspiring to me, even if it ended in "failure?" I think not, w/out the extreme samples in life, we'd be lost w/out any real need for humanity. It's what makes this world round, and not square you dope. If I had any kids, that's what I'd tell them. Don't do dope. Rule #2, give me really good back rubs whenever I want. Rule #3, really good lasagne or bust, by the time I come home. Otherwise,no Xbox720 for u, ha-ha!!! Oh, man, that's just straight up too ruthless, even for me, forget that last suggestion.
ESTP's wanna compete...like *gang-busters,* right from the start, let them come out of that gate. They won't be happy otherwise.
The issue is this. IF they are of the prodigious sort, there's a real potential for them to become that bully who CAN back it up...and, no, that's NOT a good thing. Why? Because, the bigger they are, the harder they'll fall. You have to protect them from that, bcs. sooner or later, there's always gonna be someone bigger and/or "badder." And why they talk trash? Bcs. like all of us, it usually *helps* them.
We all have our own "personas" if you will, it's subtle, but it's there. An ISTP typically likes to have something to get mad it, put these things in their head...think a Lendl, pounding on his noggin' with his pointy fingers. An ESTP likes to talk *hype* to get the juices going, to talk trash, in that playful way...that's just a little mischevious feeling by nature, think live war on a coffee break...think, the British hypester, Dan Hardy, to me he's a very probable "classic" ESTP. Note how though a TKD base, initially, he actually seems to rarely use kicks, don't matter his training. HIs *natural* spirit inclination to me ist still going to be the same, gonna prefer those punches...that *quick*-hitting, *sharp,* *snappy* kapow, like feeling you know? Not necessarily, over frilly and fancy (ST's frequently think too much abstract is "BS," in nature, it's just their nature)...and? A *killer instinct.* When see an opening, they'll typically, they have no problem, think Penn-Sherk ending. They'll explode, their eyes light up, they'll "catch" see that opening immediately, very alert too. Like Pirihanna/heyenas...u know?
Problem is, this, they only talk the hype, because they *need* to...it's a mask. It's the *easy* way for them to perform their best. You're daughter may think she's being tough by doing that, but really she's not. It's just a mask for our insecurities. Our "natural" ideal performance personas, are good for the good days, but will never see you through the bad. That's the problem with relying on those tried and true unique little ways we use to get ourselves "pumped up." Watch and see if Pioline at his best, don't like to play that "behind the scenes superhero." See, that's what I mean. Problem is, that on Sunday, and it's no longer behind the scenes...that was the problem he always ran into...and that's what I mean.
See, how when Leconte (ENTP) finally stood up to McEnroe on the seniors tour, finally had enough, and literally sprint and lept the net, to get in his mug, to tell him to shut the bleep up...McEnroe's bluff, he was like all, whaa...? Didn'dt know how to respond. Watch how Connors and McEnroe only seemed to go into their histrionics modes, when losing momentum...don't think for as econd the other player's didn't know. Leconte finally did something about it, and McEnroe's "ideal" performance state persona or whatever was proven to be just what I say, a *mask* for our *human* insecurities. We all have them.
Why do ESTP's love to talk spirited trash? Because, they *want* people to show up, they are like adrenaline junkies, they love to live on the edge, push buttons, in search of that "surge," that "jolt" if you will...but rarely that spiritual by nature. We're all still human deep down. A type like that that thrives on that, how do they overcome their "fears?" That's right, by talking over them. Be finding a way to get that "high," they can *usually* overcome, and when we see that our persona maks or whatever get results time after time (except for thsoe times when we suck dump trucks), what do we do? We keep on going back to that well, time and itme again, w/out working on *truly* making ourselves stronger to the core. It's just superficial lip service, and we evolve not one iota this way.
Look at Forget in that heroic Davis Cup victory of 91, that's NOT "normal" for his INFP type. He was *centered,* in the soul, that's not relying on no "short term" gimic, like a "go to" drug to carry you through. That took late-career maturity to reach that point.
Our "personas," whatever they may be, tend to fail you when u need them most in life, when failing to recognize the best (and worst) qualities in all our types. It's just a better way of looking at things. U need to know these things. Look at the latest X-Factor, where contestants were paired in twos, and what did it lead to? That's right subtle and not so subtle sabotaging, by the "stronger" of those twos. But there are rarely any do-overs in life, "life and death desparate" swing junctures like that don't come along very often, and the desparation of many of these contenstants unfathomable to those who only ever veered according to the books...but it is what it is. "Be aware, not weary." Don't be afraid of no homies, no more, know what I mean? The more you're able to see through all that, X-ray, straight to the soul, that's true strength. No matter how far out, that's balance, and then there is always hope...plus, you're a better person too.
Protecting nothing. Whenever, we mask our insecurities and weaknesses, it is what it is, it's just a coverup, and makes you weaker and inertia-proof. I don't want to end up inert in court. Don't let it get to that point.