can you please make it with an adjustable stiffness factor? I'd like to start off all my matches with an iron pole and finish with a rubber chicken.
Also I'd like a 25 x 30 ultra dense string pattern @ 95 lbs. so that I can hit the ball at my opponent's nose the entire game.
Lastly, can you make the handle hold Gatorade so I don't have to walk 10 feet to get a drink?