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Old 11-02-2012, 10:15 AM   #4
Cindysphinx's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 15,058

Michael, let me review one of my seasons. This was for Spring 2011, when I was putting together a playoff-bound team. The names have been changed to protect the litigious.

Monday after Thanksgiving, 2010
Pay close attention to ratings of players on my team. After the dust settles, I see I have 11 returning players. Immediately confirm with them that they want to play on the spring team.

November-December 2010

Diligently pursue any and all strong 3.5s in the DC Metro area with particular emphasis on singles players because we have zero. Am able to sign up 4 singles players. Get firm commitments from 16 doubles players and 4 singles players. Pat self on back for successful and very time-consuming recruiting.

January 2011

Send out email confirming that the spring team will happen and that no one's plans have changed. Receive enthusiastic replies.

February 2011

Send out email confirming that the spring team will happen and that no one's plans have changed. Receive enthusiastic replies.

March 2011

Send out email confirming that the team will happen and giving details about registration. Hear back from one player that she got a job and now cannot play. Hear back from another player that she decided to play on a competing team instead.

Hear nothing from one of the singles players and start pursuing her via text, phone and email. Radio silence. Consider filing a Missing Person's Report with the local authorities. Singles player finally gets tired of being stalked and replies that she is rusty and wants to play doubles. I say there may be a chance to play some doubles (while secretly thinking the very last thing I need is some rusty singles player jacking up our doubles), but invite her to hit singles with me and find her mojo.

Weeks pass. Finally, she emails that she doesn't want to play.

Star doubles player blows her Achilles.

April 2011

Now down to three singles players, who get hammered in their opening matches. Start begging doubles players to play singles. Manage to limp along on the strength of doubles with a roster of 18.

June 2011

Doubles player who promised she would be at Districts says she has a family vacation instead and will be out of town. Let's call her Becky. File player deletion form for Becky and add another star singles player.

Use last two roster spots to add two singles beasts. Qualify for Districts.

July 2011

Star singles player plans vacation and can only play one match at Districts.

Strong doubles player wins her first match and gets squirrely, claiming a bogus injury to avoid the stress of playing more matches.

Sandbagging 3.0 strong singles player is unavailable to play more than one match because of her commitment to her 3.0 team.

Strong singles player cannot get the Friday off work to play at Districts.

Post line-up for first match and receive an email from a doubles player who is in the line-up. She says she just booked a beach house for that weekend because she figured she probably wouldn't play, so sorry she didn't check with me first.

Down to three singles players. Team gets smoked in singles because the three are just too exhausted to play their best.

Becky turns up playing for another of her 3.5 teams at Districts. I guess the whole fib about going out of town was a fib.

No trip to Sectionals, after all of that.

I swear, it is just not worth it to try to put a competitive team together. Too much work, and people are just too flaky and unreliable.
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-- Master Moonballer
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