I'm enjoying playing 40+ this fall immensely because I have yet to play a self-rated 19 year old former #1 for his high school or a self rated 23 year old former junior college player like I did last season in 18+. My experience has been that the biggest problem with self-rated sandbaggers is young people and in the 40+ league I have yet to encounter even one self-rated player, much less a self-rated sandbagger.
I'm sorry 40+ is negatively affecting you but I think there are a number of assumptions and contentions in your post I don't necessarily agree with which make it hard for me to agree with your argument.
When should you serve and volley in doubles? Only when you want to win.