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Old 11-30-2012, 07:45 AM   #1
Cindysphinx
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 15,002
Default How Not To Handle Not Being Invited

Ah, boy. New ratings are out, new teams are forming. And once again, people are asking to join teams I captain.

There seem to be two types of requests.

The first type is an email: "Hey, Cindy. I'm looking for a 4.0 ladies team. Do you have an opening?" This is perfectly acceptable networking. If I have a slot for you, I will invite you. If I don't, I will say that and will help you find another team if you want the help.

The second type, though. The second type is a whine. This is the person who comes up to me and says, "I see you didn't invite me onto your 4.0 team."

Come on, people. If you aren't already on someone's team, they are under no obligation to make room for you just because you are friends. If someone is forming a brand new team, they are entitled to try to find the most suitable assortment of players they can. And if you hope to play up and no one invites you, the issue is almost certainly that your tennis is not good enough for the higher level yet.

I dunno. There seems to be a huge sense of entitlement among a lot of ladies. If they know you are captaining and you don't invite them, they are hurt. Me, I have struggled to get on various teams many times. I do not take it personally -- I figure it is all about the tennis. If I improve, I will have more offers than I can accept.

Can we maybe stop harassing captains and just let them put together the team however they like?
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