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Old 12-01-2012, 03:28 AM   #37
batz's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 14,545

GOAT with the MOAT
November 30, 2012 by pseudofedblog

Hello everybody!

I have the exciting news which you may have seen on your small television sets or MyTube.

I have teamed up with MOAT Champagne to be their Brand Sponsor. They are extremely lucky to have Me and look forward to working with Me.

When I first got into tennis I heard about branding and it gave Me the apprehensions as I thought it might be painful. I consulted with the ATP doctor and he was right, it doesn’t hurt at all!

MOAT first contacted Me on the Facebook via a private message. My Facebook administrator’s assistant picked this up and forwarded it for approval to the head of My Human Resources department. This then went through the usual channels to reach Me. After H.R. it went through Sales, Accounting (large department), Tech support, Style support, Fashion support and Staff support. Three years later it was brought to My attention for final approval. I approved on the understanding that we go for a re-brand and that it must have a ‘GOAT’ stamp. I met them halfway (Dubai) and we settled on MOAT. I am so happy to be associated with this brand, as well as all My other sponsors.

As you know, it’s so important for Me to reach out to the everyday consumer. A staff member questioned whether it was a good idea given I am the top athlete. Not only did she question the association with professional sport and alcohol but also as a role model to children.

Obviously I had her fired. There is nothing wrong with this partnership. The London Olympics this year had McDonalds and Coca-Cola as main sponsors and there was nothing wrong with that either, we all have to eat otherwise we would be very thin. I must make the admissions that this discussion did make Me angry. How else are children going to be motivated to go to their local (and probably cold) tennis courts without the goal of partnerships such as this one day?

Look, it isn’t just Me. Rafaello Nadal (Spanish) now has his sponsorship with the poker gambling people, I now have the best alcohol deal in the world and then maybe another top player can be sponsored by a cigarette company. Then all we would need is My new best friend Pippa to make the planning and organizing and we will have a heck of Rolling Stones party times!

Remember fans, drink responsibly whilst playing tennis.
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary - and those who don't.
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