There's no playbook. I agree school is #1 then what makes your kid happy and that's my focus. I carefully pick spots to get involved in her tennis as I leave the tennis coaching/instruction to her coach. My job as the parent is to pick the right coach then let the coach, coach. I pick the right club and program then I let the the folks running the program do their job. I like the pro franchise owners that own the team but let the coach do the coaching and if they aren't happy, find a new coach.
I can't blend coaching and being a parent so I applaud those that can do it. I also prefer to stay behind the scenes b/c she must own this; she must want it; she must work at it . . . not me. It's her, not me. I had a very fulfilling childhood so I don't need to live through her; it's her life and the job of me and my wife is to raise a happy, caring and productive human being.
I read up on those parents of professional female players that raised great kids and post-career ended up having happy and fulfilling lives . . . like Kim Clisters (just as an example; happy junior player; mom; wife and one of the best ever).