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Old 12-22-2012, 07:30 AM   #34
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 585
Default Overly Female Female Says

Originally Posted by stapletonj View Post
Overly Manly Man says:

men's doubles - ALWAYS take the overheads on your side of the Court. If your partner tries to cross and take it, ignore him, hit the shot, if you hit him with your racket in executing the shot, good. You are here to establish yourself as the alpha male of the team and this can only help. Resist the temptation to dry hump him to further cement your dominance. That is reserved for the other team during change overs.

mixed doubles - When retreating for a lob and your female partner says "MINE" or whatever and runs over to take the shot, let her take it. Whatever you do, do not cross and cover the rest of the court. Get back to where you could have hit a shot, stop, and place your hands on your hips and watch her execute the shot.

At this point one of two things will happen, she will hit a winner, or the other team will block the ball into the open side of the court (HER SIDE).

IF they block the ball into her side of the court, before it bounces the second time, gently say "YOUR SIDE, BABE" as it dribbles off for a winner. Then shadow stroke the shot you would have hit had she not taken it from you. This will increase her confidence in you as a partner, since you have visually demonstrated your ability to have gotten the ball. Finish up with some pointers on how protecting her alley is paramount and her position there is one that is vital for the team's success. If she appears confused or reluctant, gently place your hands on her arms and place her in the proper position in the alley for the next point.

If she happens to hit an unreturnable shot, you have a prime opportunity for a "teaching moment". Describe to her a flaw in her technique on that shot and how to correct it.

But always always always remember to end things before the next point with some positive reinforcement. A playful slap on her posterior with a positive comment about her sexuality is mandatory.

Follow these simple rules and be successful, happy, popular and manly!
You are an idiot
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