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Old 12-26-2012, 10:23 PM   #29
NLBwell
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Join Date: Jun 2004
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catfish View Post
Are you married to a 5 year old girl? Sure sounds like it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cindysphinx View Post
Catfish, believe it or not, I have witnessed such behavior.

In the case I am thinking of, the individual who becomes upset generally feels unappreciated. This causes her to look for instances in which proper levels of appreciation are not shown. Christmas becomes an exercise in showing appreciation, which must take the form of expensive gifts that are exactly as the recipient wanted.

The funny thing, though, is the person I am thinking of is a huge shopper. She loves shopping herself, which means she owns everything and is impossible to buy for. She also doesn't think shopping is a huge chore, so if someone doesn't spend enough effort, well . . . this shows a lack of appreciation.

My sample size is just one, but it does explain how an adult acts out on Christmas day.
The gift didn't need to be expensive, she wasn't money driven, just the RIGHT one (of course there was no RIGHT one).

Life advice to all you young guys out there:
Be wary of marrying the daughter of two alcoholics, even if she doesn't have any alcohol problems. For the lost child, there is a hole of not being appreciated and of being ignored in the midst of the family dysfunction. (the other case is the mother-child who becomes the mother, trying to organize the chaos, who must have control)
At the time (just out of college), I didn't know that family dynamics during childhood mattered that much to adult relationships. Now, I ask early on about the family of the women I date. Not that I've bothered to date anyone for a long while.

Chapter 1 of Dr. Laura's book to men about relationships "Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives" is "Stupid Chivalry" -- don't be the White Knight.

Last edited by NLBwell : 12-26-2012 at 10:44 PM.
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