Originally Posted by Cindysphinx
It's not about criticism, necessarily. It's an interpersonal relations thing that goes much deeper than that.
Say Mr. Sphinx's mom would like to come visit the grandchildren. She tells us she will be here one week. Say I feel like that visit is too long.
It would be a very bad idea for me to call Mr. Sphinx's mom and tell her four days is the max. The reason is that it would cause any insecurities to bubble up more than if Mr. Sphinx made that call. He knows the best way to phrase the "suggestion." She would feel most comfortable voicing her feelings to her son in whatever way she always has.
I'm not saying it always has to be this way. I do think sometimes people fail to recognize just how sensitive even small things can be in in-law relations. Especially once grandchildren arrive.
Cindy, I'm not giving you advice. You seem to be on the right path.
As my words set this forth, my comments were about MY family's communications. At no point did I recommend this to anyone. Take a look at what I wrote.