Here's the key. Play only people two levels lower than you. Then upon winning run (I mean RUN) over to your bag and pull out a fake Rolex.
Then father twins and you're golden.
"I used to be a fairly good tennis player." --Rod Laver. Favs: Goran, Gasquet, Klahn, Seppi, Fognini, Dolgopolov, Nalbandian, Cornet