I am a vegetarian so I'd just die.
If you eat them you'll die of starvation a few days later anyway... if you can digest that stuff anyway. I suppose if you boil the string would make a nice pasta, and the grips could be eaten like bacon
and oh this beats my hypothetical being abducted by aliens question by a light year.
We're talking "sloth that was dropped on the head as a baby" level ***ardation levels here. - Linus Torvalds