You are considered "Ready to receive" when you've stepped up to the line you normally step up to to receive serve. If you've got other quirks you like to do, you better do them on your own time. I don't like taking forever to serve either, but I always check to make sure the player is ready to receive. If they're standing in the same place they normally stand when they're ready to receive serve, then they're ready.
You kind of have to feel it out with new people you play against, but generally speaking, if you're not ready, don't step up to bat. (i.e. don't look ready) There is no rule that says I have to figure out what your normal routine is for being ready to serve, wait for that to happen, and then serve. Normally, if I'm ready and you're still ******g around, I'll hold the ball up to indicate I'm ready to serve. If you continue down the path of this primping and pampering, I'll usually follow it up with one of the following.
1) "I didn't know we were going to be playing mixed today."
2) "Are you ready sweetie?... the car's all warmed up."
Of course all of this is based on how well we know each other, but even if we've never met before, I'll still give you some kind of smartass remark that gets the point across.
Bottom line, being ready to serve and being ready to receive is a mutual respect and responsibility thing. Don't waste my time repeatedly and I won't waste yours. At the same time, as long as it's within reason, I won't rush you if you don't rush me.