I ended up playing at Hudson River Pork anyway. You missed out on McDonald's and Towlie's tennis memoirs.
On cold days we use tennis gloves fashioned out of old tube sock blobs. We cut holes near the toes and play with the sock covering the handle. It works.
So next time don't be a poussaye and prepare for battle. 3.5 glory awaits.
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.