Originally Posted by sam_p
In my experience most strong women players (4.5 or 5.0) have more trouble handling a substantial kick serve than a hard flat one (as someone else mentioned upstream). If they are 4.5-5.0 women who play mixed, they've faced plenty of power serves and will a) not be upset at seeing more and b) probably handle it better than you imagine. As always though the most effective thing is to change up location, speed and spin.
If I find yourself playing against weaker women players in mixed (just socially, I gave up 8.0 a few years ago after moving to 4.5 myself) then I am loath to hit a big first serve a) because I don't want to harass them and b) they can't handle spin at all anyway usually and it's honestly more effective to hit a kicker first serve at a very high %.
I completely agree. A well placed spin serve is much better in mixed. At a social tournament, the rules are definitely different, so it is best to just hit well placed balls and not have to defend yourself for petty perceptions.