As I was delving into my shorts drawer, I unearthed a pair which I had bought a couple of years ago because they were amazing. I have never worn them because they just don't fit me right.
It is taking all that I've got to come to grips with the idea of handing over a $175 pair of shorts to Pickle, but he is the only friend I have who they might fit.
My posterior and quads simply have too much amplitude to fit comfortably in them, so perhaps his less muscular lower half will be able to do them justice.
Welcome to the awesome plaid shorts brotherhood buddy.