Several questions come to mind....
First.... You are correct... men can be just as *****y as women.
Now that out of the way. Some questions...
What ground rules did you establish and communicate to your team before the season began/you started recruiting players w.r.t how you will captain this team?
Do you have alternates for the match? Guys who dress and show up and stay at least through warmups to avoid the last minute scramble for players should someone run late or is ill.
I am of the opinion that players should follow the captains lineup decisions without complaint regardless of how good/bad they captain a team. If they don't like the way someone captains, then they don't have to play again for team/captain another team.... But if they should honor their commitment to the team for the season. Complete BS this guy checked himself out... IMO you don't need that type of poison on your team.