What are your favorite jokes during a social match?

[blakesq]

in doubles, before returning the serve, i will say to the net man "You got any salt? Cuz you are going to eat this one!"

Originally Posted by Yenster

Or when I shank it and it goes out of the court, I go " you know lines count right?" Or in doubles, before the opponent I lift up my shorts and blind the server with my white thighs =]

[shazbot]

If I'm playing with someone I know well I'll joke around a lot.

When they hit a shot, or a serve that is soooooooooooooo far out (I'm talking like 10-12 feet, or to the back of the fence type shot) I will yell back to them, "Wanna check shot spot on that one?".

When my brother and I play, whenever one of us hits a drop shot that we can't get too, we call each other a**holes and laugh while trying to track it down.

[sureshs]

Lately, I have been having a ball yelling "Foot Fault" in social doubles matches. A couple of guys have gotten so nervous they are double faulting whenever I am around. Yet they know it is supposed to the joke of the moment so they can't be upset about it.

[BetterAtSingles]

When I spin my Wilson racquet before a match, instead of saying "M or W?" I say "Money or Women?" This usually catches most people off guard and they get a chuckle out of it.

[RichieD3]

If I'm down a few games before I get on the board when I finally do I break out the Vitas "nobody beats me 6-0" but 6-1 happens all the time.
Vitas had the greatest tennis joke of all time. Conners (I think had beaten him 17 in a row when Vitas finnaly won) at the presser he says "Nobody beats Vitas 18 times in a row".

[Ken Honecker]

After my opponant makes some absolutely amazing play, getting to a ball that was totally out of reach and herfing it back into play I let the crowd know that "I am so good I can bounce it off his racquet no matter where he holds it".

[Stewy30]

In the middle of a point/rally, I will begin to grunt like Sharapova or make orgasm sounds everytime I hit the ball. The point usually finishes with one of us on the ground laughing, and weird looks by others if there are others there. =)

[kennydoe]

After losing the first bunch of games of a match, I’ll ask if my opponent is ready to start the set yet. (this was already noted)

If I double fault after the first point, I’ll still ask to confirm that “it’s ‘first one in’ right?”

If I’m passed by a great shot, I’ll call “Out - !” - when the opponent scoffs I finish with “-- standing!” or “ – of reach”

Last night the woman I played in an XD match got aced up the middle and she said “sorry – I’ll be there in a minute”.

On an un-gettable ace, I’ll sometimes call ‘foot fault’

If an opponent asks how far out their ball was, I’ll say “8 inches”, but hold my thumb and index about an inch apart. (this is a penis joke, btw).

If my opponent mis-hits a winner, I’ll claim the point since ‘it has to be on purpose’.

If my (or opponent) hits a shot that’s far out of my league, I’ll ask “can you show me how you hit that shot?”

If a shot that hits the net cord and dribbles over…if it’s me I say “I’ve been working on that shot all week!”. If my partner hits it, I say ‘just like a taught you” and if my opponent hit it I say “is THAT what you have to do to win a match?!??”

If my partner volleys a ball that would have been out by a mile, I’ll tell them they saved the curtain (or fence) a lot of damage.

In doubles, after the second bounce on a ball hit between us, I’ll shout “yours!”

I don’t drop my racquet for serve, I just spin in my hand quickly and stop - Instead of asking “M or W”, I’ll ask “E or 3” and stop with the head perpendicular to the ground instead of parallel. People look at me funny every time.


Reading back how many stupid things I say, it’s a wonder anyone ever wants to play with me!!

Great thread!!!

[eagle]

- If making unforced errors of late, I'll say "Sorry, I seem to have caught swine tennis".

- Come one! Serve like a man.

- "Watch the jewels please."

- When down a set, we say "We have them where we want them".

- We call folks who don't admit touching the ball Gonzo.

- If we see a blatant foot fault, we yell out "I'm gonna shove this ball down your throat".

r,
eagle

[retlod]

1. "That's a great shot...in doubles."

2. After sailing a serve so long that it barely lands inside the baseline..."That was IN!"

3. After a totally lucky shot...fist pump and a "YESSSSS!!!"

4. During a set when I'm getting thrashed, I'll make up a fake set score like 0-18.