Fair weather tennis friend....

[tnnisfan]

Just venting here....When I was losing to my friend and league teammate...she was very friendly and would regularly have after play drinks with me and the team...but now that I am playing better than I ever have and am beating her, (3 times as of today) she is hardly speaking to me and won't stay for drinks... Why can't some people just leave it on the court, or even better congratulate others when they play well? Anyone else ever have a "fair weather tennis friend"?

[InspectorRacquet]

Yep. Got one myself. We're cordial in practice and pretty good friends, but if we get into a match, all bets are off.

[Fuji]

I don't play anyone like that any more. I don't want to have a stress relief bringing drama in my life.

-Fuji

[hard2explain]

No animosity or anything like that, but I've a bunch of friends who only play for 4 months in the summer, so last autumn I joined an indoor club and haven't looked back.

[DeShaun]

I'm just now beginning my third year of learning to play tennis. I have had multiple playing partners along the way. Many I still play with, but many more--particularly those who previously never lost to me--disappeared the moment I began defeating them regularly. Tis the way of things.

[nickarnold2000]

Originally Posted by InspectorRacquet

Yep. Got one myself. We're cordial in practice and pretty good friends, but if we get into a match, all bets are off.

IMO, there's nothing wrong with having a competitive nature during a match when playing with a friend. That being said, I'm always respectful and will give credit when a good shot has been struck to my opponent. After the match, win or lose, it's time for a beer and some good conversation - life's to short to be carrying around negative thoughts.

[atatu]

There's one guy here who I was good friends with, I'm a bit better than him (never lost a singles set to him in about 50 sets) but I always played with him anyway. Last year I would drill with him for a hour every week to try to get him better. Anyway, he is the captain of a USTA team, it's the best team in the league by far, and he asked me to be on the team. I said no, because I had already committed to another team and because some of the guys on his team are way too serious for a 4.5 league. After that, I never heard from him again. Very weird.

[sureshs]

Subtle way to inform us that OP is winning

[leech]

Originally Posted by InspectorRacquet

Yep. Got one myself. We're cordial in practice and pretty good friends, but if we get into a match, all bets are off.

This doesn't sound like a fair-weather tennis friend; just a competitive person while playing but otherwise a good friend. The OP was describing a situation where the actual friendship disintegrated once the tennis dynamics changed.

[JoelDali]

Originally Posted by tnnisfan

she is hardly speaking to me and won't stay for drinks...

Shes busy GOATing J011y.

[tnnisfan]

Originally Posted by sureshs

Subtle way to inform us that OP is winning

Nope...I'm not being subtle at all ... I AM winning and it feels great! I've been working hard (clinics/privates etc..) I spent the entire year losing to this gal and "sucking it up" afterwards as we would have drinks alone or with our team. Just felt real deflated to learn she wasn't a "real" friend...

[chollyred]

Women carry a grudge much longer than men for some reason. As little boys, we'd beat the snot out of each other, then pick ourselves up and be friends afterward. I've never seen girls to that. They hang onto the past far longer than men (in general).

As long as she was superior to you (in her mind), she could be friends, but when you beat her, you challenged her personally and she can't let it go. Some people are better at sportsmanship than others. If she's being a bad sport, let her go. There are too many other poeple to meet and play.

[goober]

Originally Posted by tnnisfan

Just venting here....When I was losing to my friend and league teammate...she was very friendly and would regularly have after play drinks with me and the team...but now that I am playing better than I ever have and am beating her, (3 times as of today) she is hardly speaking to me and won't stay for drinks... Why can't some people just leave it on the court, or even better congratulate others when they play well? Anyone else ever have a "fair weather tennis friend"?

Well at least she is still playing with you. My fair weather friend stop playing with me at all. The first year and half I played tennis we played one a week and I didn't win a single set. Tennis was a once a week exercise for me and it was his "main' sport. I then decided to play 3-4 times a week and actually try to get better at different strokes and strategies. After about 6 months we were even, then in about another 3 months he never took any sets off me. He promptly stopped returning calls and emails.

As a followup, I hear from him again after about 3 years. He wants to play. I win in a closer match something like 6-3, 6-4. He asks me if I have been taking lessons. I tell him I haven't taken lessons in many years. He seems upset. Later on, I find out that he has been taking weekly $70/hour lessons for the last several years.

[tennisjon]

Just to play devil's advocate here. Is it possible that she is feeling bad that she isn't good enough competition for you any more? That she isn't able to keep up with you and that you may not want to play with her any more? I would just ask her what is going on and tell her that you have always enjoyed playing together and want to keep doing so.

[SwankPeRFection]

Originally Posted by tnnisfan

Nope...I'm not being subtle at all ... I AM winning and it feels great! I've been working hard (clinics/privates etc..) I spent the entire year losing to this gal and "sucking it up" afterwards as we would have drinks alone or with our team. Just felt real deflated to learn she wasn't a "real" friend...

Maybe she likes being the dominatrix more than the submissive.

[Alchemy-Z]

I have a guy who I have played in league matches and in tournaments (and he has never beat me)

and he always says "I hope we get to play again" he was watching my semi final match and my wife was talking to him and said you need to trade phone numbers so you can get together an play.

he said...he only wants to play if it counts (official match)

He's a nice guy but I guess he really wants it recorded some where that he's beat me?

[storypeddler]

Originally Posted by tnnisfan

Just venting here....When I was losing to my friend and league teammate...she was very friendly and would regularly have after play drinks with me and the team...but now that I am playing better than I ever have and am beating her, (3 times as of today) she is hardly speaking to me and won't stay for drinks... Why can't some people just leave it on the court, or even better congratulate others when they play well? Anyone else ever have a "fair weather tennis friend"?

Because, as in all areas of life, some people only show their true colors under pressure. My advice would be to work on beating her more often and more soundly. She will either get over herself, get better, or stop returning your calls. LOL. In any case, not worth losing sleep over.