How to counter this?

[High Rustler]

I love threads like this, very informative for a tennis parent. now here's one.

My son is playing a kid who has played local and regional tournies for a couple of years. that kid has a younger brother who also plays on a regional basis. The family has been around the sport long enough and at a high enough level to know the rules. At the start of the match the kid makes a few baseline calls, plays one or two other baseline balls, but is looking up at his dad after each one, who is sitting a chair or two over from me. I observe the dad on two occasions shake his head "no" and motion out (point up) at his kid. this is early in a very tight first set. IMO, and I realize I am being completely subjective here, the kid tightened up baseline calls considerably. The whole thing smacks of dad coaching son on calls from the sideline. I considered saying something directly to the dad, but wife and friend were sitting with him and I didn't have the balls. I considered saying something to the ref but didn't. I did let a "come on" go on what I thought was an agressive call, at which dad and entourage gave me teh evil eye, so I moved to another part of the deck so they wouldn't hear me.

my son lost 5-7 1-6 so I'm not so sure the calls meant anything in the long run anyway....Any thoughts? thx

[MarTennis]

Originally Posted by Stokke

My son plays, in my opinion.., solid and attack-oriented tennis when he is playing with confidence - that is, when he is not worrying about the possibility that he could miss the shot.

He recently met an opponent who yelled YES! YES! regulary when my son double faulted or when he made an unforced error.
My son started to focus more on not missing shots and less on winning points - and lost the match..

How should he counter this behavior? Turn the match into a yelling contest?

He should stop play, go to the net, tell him how unclassy and uncalled for his behavior is, but in a tone no one can hear, then get back to playing.

[cluckcluck]

Kill em with kindness! Tell your kid (OP) to tell the opponent, "Nice shot." On good shots.

[db10s]

At times I make it a yelling match (not a normal grunt, more like a dying pig), mostly because its hilarious when I out yell them. Its more of a thing to keep them from grunting when they hit a pusher forehand. Another thing is, once a parent was like "Don't let him get in your head, etc..." and the umpire gave them a warning for coaching, not intended, but thats a positive side effect.

In the rare event that it doesn't work, I go full on MEGA serve, hit an angle to get them to come in, and crush it right at them (it may not be nice, but thats how you learn your lesson). It didn't work once, so I did it and yelled "Everyday I'm crushin' it!" and proceeded to shuffle all the way to the baseline.... I almost fell over laughing.

Yep, I know that I'm going to take some heat for this.... But do you think I care?

FYI: this is a bit exaggerated

[10ismom]

Originally Posted by cluckcluck

Kill em with kindness! Tell your kid (OP) to tell the opponent, "Nice shot." On good shots.

This is a very good suggestion for High Rustler's case.

The opponent (and the parents) will feel embarrassed with their own action. Besides, this might even get into the opponent's head that your kid's level is higher and didn't care about a few skeptical line calls.

[TennisNinja]

Originally Posted by mikej

not necessarily the best role model for your son, but:

i once played a guy in the 18s who yelled "that's what i'm talking about - all day" after any slightly extended rally that he won

stayed quiet, used it as motivation to give everything i had to outgrind the punk, eventually won 6-3 in the 3rd after hearing that ringing in my ears well over 50 times

we're both walking up to the net, i stop at the service line and start yelling at him "that's what i'm talking about" probably 5-7 times before he gives up on me shaking his hand and walks off the court

so, get the last laugh by winning the match, and avoid being an *** at the end if you can help it - if not, let him hear it

That's actually hilarious.

[ClarkC]

Originally Posted by Stokke

He recently met an opponent who yelled YES! YES! regulary when my son double faulted or when he made an unforced error.

Laugh out loud when the other player does this. Relieves your own tension, and lets him know that you think he is a buffoon, while not actually saying anything that would get you in trouble with an official. Most people really don't like being laughed at, especially when they suspect that they deserve it.

[db10s]

Originally Posted by ClarkC

Laugh out loud when the other player does this. Relieves your own tension, and lets him know that you think he is a buffoon, while not actually saying anything that would get you in trouble with an official. Most people really don't like being laughed at, especially when they suspect that they deserve it.

This is what I (pretty much) do...

[tennis5]

Originally Posted by High Rustler

I love threads like this, very informative for a tennis parent. now here's one.

My son is playing a kid who has played local and regional tournies for a couple of years. that kid has a younger brother who also plays on a regional basis. The family has been around the sport long enough and at a high enough level to know the rules. At the start of the match the kid makes a few baseline calls, plays one or two other baseline balls, but is looking up at his dad after each one, who is sitting a chair or two over from me. I observe the dad on two occasions shake his head "no" and motion out (point up) at his kid. this is early in a very tight first set. IMO, and I realize I am being completely subjective here, the kid tightened up baseline calls considerably. The whole thing smacks of dad coaching son on calls from the sideline. I considered saying something directly to the dad, but wife and friend were sitting with him and I didn't have the balls. I considered saying something to the ref but didn't. I did let a "come on" go on what I thought was an agressive call, at which dad and entourage gave me teh evil eye, so I moved to another part of the deck so they wouldn't hear me.

my son lost 5-7 1-6 so I'm not so sure the calls meant anything in the long run anyway....Any thoughts? thx

While your son is suppose to go get a ref, in that situation where you believe that a dad is coaching his son, you can go to the TD and tell him what is going on. Better to put it on the record, and let the TD handle it.

[Number1Coach]

Originally Posted by Stokke

My son plays, in my opinion.., solid and attack-oriented tennis when he is playing with confidence - that is, when he is not worrying about the possibility that he could miss the shot.

He recently met an opponent who yelled YES! YES! regulary when my son double faulted or when he made an unforced error.
My son started to focus more on not missing shots and less on winning points - and lost the match..

How should he counter this behavior? Turn the match into a yelling contest?

If your son has a great drop shot have him pull the kid to the net and nail him then yell out "YESSS" then repeat as much as needed thats the quickest cure . If he does not have a dropper teach him one .

[Woolybugger]

always take the high road and let your tennis speak for itself.

[coaching32yrs]

Overall the sportsmanship of Amercian juniors is poor. Every junior and parent should read this article on what tennis and sportsmanship should be. I would be interested to hear your comments after reading it.
http://www.whitman.edu/athletics/sport_pages/gball.html

[BMC9670]

Originally Posted by coaching32yrs

Overall the sportsmanship of Amercian juniors is poor. Every junior and parent should read this article on what tennis and sportsmanship should be. I would be interested to hear your comments after reading it.
http://www.whitman.edu/athletics/sport_pages/gball.html

Excellent article. The view that you have to be a disrespectful barbarian to be successful is becoming an epidemic in sport. I try and instill in my kids that it's important to not only have respect for yourself on the court, but also your opponent and the sport itself. That doesn't mean you can't be aggressive, just means you don't have to be an a-hole to win.

[NLBwell]

I teach my kids that I expect them to be better people than the other kids.

[North]

Originally Posted by tennis5

While your son is suppose to go get a ref, in that situation where you believe that a dad is coaching his son, you can go to the TD and tell him what is going on. Better to put it on the record, and let the TD handle it.

Yep. The kid does need to learn to deal with the jerks but I also support just dispassionately reporting the errant behavior to the refs/TDs. Hopefully, the jerks (kids and parents) wind up with a collection of complaints and a paper trail of a terrible reputation. I think the jerks count on people not reporting them due to not wanting to "make a scene" or out of some misplaced macho to "tough it out".
Yes, learn to deal with it but also calmly let the officials know.

[Number1Coach]

Originally Posted by North

Yep. The kid does need to learn to deal with the jerks but I also support just dispassionately reporting the errant behavior to the refs/TDs. Hopefully, the jerks (kids and parents) wind up with a collection of complaints and a paper trail of a terrible reputation. I think the jerks count on people not reporting them due to not wanting to "make a scene" or out of some misplaced macho to "tough it out".
Yes, learn to deal with it but also calmly let the officials know.

I hear what your saying and it sounds like the right way to go but nothing ever gets done especially when the match is happing "right now" so waiting on a paper trail of a kid who has a reputation should be dealt with "right away" . So let your racket and ball do the talking .

[tennis5]

Originally Posted by Number1Coach

I hear what your saying and it sounds like the right way to go but nothing ever gets done especially when the match is happing "right now" so waiting on a paper trail of a kid who has a reputation should be dealt with "right away" . So let your racket and ball do the talking .

NOT TRUE AT ALL.
I witness terrible cheating at a recent match,
where the boy was unable to get a ref to watch more than two points.

Neither boys were my kids, both were from my section.

The mother of the cheated boy alerted the TD.

In addition, I pointed it out to the TD on how that ball was in, and called out, etc.
The cheating was on a scale that one rarely see.
(TD's desk was near the court, so this was easy).

I then put it in writing to the sectional and national office.

The boy who cheated is now serving a suspension in his section.

SO, CREATING A PAPER TRAIL ( EMAIL) AT THE SECTIONAL AND NATIONAL OFFICE IS KEY TO STOP THESE KIDS FROM CHEATING OTHER KIDS, AND MAYBE YOUR KID TOO IN SOME FUTURE MATCH.

I have said it before, become friends with your sectional head.
They do want to hear what is going on....
If I am at a good tournament, I let them know, and visa-versa.
At this point, however, my sectional head said only to call with the problems.

[db10s]

Originally Posted by tennis5

NOT TRUE AT ALL.
I witness terrible cheating at a recent match,
where the boy was unable to get a ref to watch more than two points.

Neither boys were my kids, both were from my section.

The mother of the cheated boy alerted the TD.

In addition, I pointed it out to the TD on how that ball was in, and called out, etc.
The cheating was on a scale that one rarely see.
(TD's desk was near the court, so this was easy).

I then put it in writing to the sectional and national office.

The boy who cheated is now serving a suspension in his section.

SO, CREATING A PAPER TRAIL ( EMAIL) AT THE SECTIONAL AND NATIONAL OFFICE IS KEY TO STOP THESE KIDS FROM CHEATING OTHER KIDS, AND MAYBE YOUR KID TOO IN SOME FUTURE MATCH.

I have said it before, become friends with your sectional head.
They do want to hear what is going on....
If I am at a good tournament, I let them know, and visa-versa.
At this point, however, my sectional head said only to call with the problems.

I think you deserve a round of applause.


PS: I suggest you get into the witness protection program.... Some parents are a little nutty

[Number1Coach]

Originally Posted by tennis5

NOT TRUE AT ALL.
I witness terrible cheating at a recent match,
where the boy was unable to get a ref to watch more than two points.

Neither boys were my kids, both were from my section.

The mother of the cheated boy alerted the TD.

In addition, I pointed it out to the TD on how that ball was in, and called out, etc.
The cheating was on a scale that one rarely see.
(TD's desk was near the court, so this was easy).

I then put it in writing to the sectional and national office.

The boy who cheated is now serving a suspension in his section.

SO, CREATING A PAPER TRAIL ( EMAIL) AT THE SECTIONAL AND NATIONAL OFFICE IS KEY TO STOP THESE KIDS FROM CHEATING OTHER KIDS, AND MAYBE YOUR KID TOO IN SOME FUTURE MATCH.

I have said it before, become friends with your sectional head.
They do want to hear what is going on....
If I am at a good tournament, I let them know, and visa-versa.
At this point, however, my sectional head said only to call with the problems.

We had a problem with a parent talking trash to my kid at the tourny director was right there "he did nothing" so the following weekend made a phone call had 3 of the biggest ,hard friends of mine show up I walked up to the parent told my boys "this guy says one thing to my kid put him in the hospital" I proceeded to shake the parents hand and said "lets watch the kids play"

The parent behaved very nicely with just a warning .

My child won all were happy and from there on out that parent showed the utmost respect for us .

[tennis5]

Originally Posted by Number1Coach

We had a problem with a parent talking trash to my kid at the tourny director was right there "he did nothing" so the following weekend made a phone call had 3 of the biggest ,hard friends of mine show up I walked up to the parent told my boys "this guy says one thing to my kid put him in the hospital" I proceeded to shake the parents hand and said "lets watch the kids play"

The parent behaved very nicely with just a warning .

My child won all were happy and from there on out that parent showed the utmost respect for us .

So, you had 3 bodyguard types threaten the parent and everything was ok for the match the following weekend.....

HOW DOES THAT HELP OUT ANOTHER PARENT OR CHILD WHO WILL FACE THIS PARENT WHO TALKS TRASH TO THE KIDS?

You just helped your kid out and no one else.

Honestly, you act like this great Christian here quoting the Bible and this story just seems selfish to me.....

Sorry, but this site is to help other parents and other juniors.

What could have been done differently?

How about recording at the moment with a pen and paper, taking out your phone and recording it, or writing an email to yourself
with THE ACTUAL LANGUAGE THAT ANOTHER PARENT USED TO TRASH TALK A CHILD.

Then, email it to your sectional office and your national office.

What happens. Maybe, at that moment, nothing.

But, you created a paper trail on this parent.

I have seen bans of 6 MONTHS, THAT'S RIGHT 6 MONTHS, on parents.