Whatever Happened To Common Courtesy?

[spot]

If someone was a no-show or if they cancelled twice the day of the match then I'd be more than happy to tell them why they weren't playing. This is the advantage of captaining a men's team rather than a women's team I think. If someone is being a selfish jerk then we can just come out and say it.

I completely agree that just sitting someone without telling them why totally defeats the purpose.

[Roforot]

Originally Posted by Cindysphinx

The solution (freezing out the bad player) has its own issues.

Say Josh had decided simply not to play the unreliable player. What does that player do? Does the player consider what he may have done to warrant such treatment?

Nope. He bashes the captain to anyone who will listen. He assumes the reason he isn't in the line-up is that the captain is incompetent, doesn't recognizes his tennis genius, the captain is biased in favor of others, or it's an oversight.

Eventually, he will just ask the captain why he isn't playing. The captain will have to explain the issue with reliability (or whatever it is).

Rather than go through all that, perhaps it is better to just confront the player from the get-go and say, "Bill, I'd like to play you more, but we've had two instances when you were late. I can't take a chance on a default."

I have confronted two players about problematic behavior. In both cases it was because of unsportsmanlike behavior that made people reluctant to partner with them. In both cases, the players left the team of their own accord.

Honesty -- the best freeze-out of all!

Cindy, courtesy is part of a social contract and when things are no longer "face to face" this link is weakened. You may need to reach out to your players by doing something like creating a facebook page and friending your players who are committed. This may sound silly but it does make things a little more serious and public declaration of their loyalties.

And if they flake out, you can have the satisfaction of defriending them.

[Spokewench]

Originally Posted by Roforot

Cindy, courtesy is part of a social contract and when things are no longer "face to face" this link is weakened. You may need to reach out to your players by doing something like creating a facebook page and friending your players who are committed. This may sound silly but it does make things a little more serious and public declaration of their loyalties.

And if they flake out, you can have the satisfaction of defriending them.

Oh my God, am I out of touch or what? Roforot, you must be really young if you believe face to face means Facebook? Wow, really!

Face to face means talking to someone not some social media network on the computer!

[Red Sunset]

Originally Posted by Spokewench

Oh my God, am I out of touch or what? Roforot, you must be really young if you believe face to face means Facebook? Wow, really!

Face to face means talking to someone not some social media network on the computer!

Looks like you ARE out of touch. Don't be afraid to evolve.

[Ronaldo]

Originally Posted by Spokewench

Oh my God, am I out of touch or what? Roforot, you must be really young if you believe face to face means Facebook? Wow, really!

Face to face means talking to someone not some social media network on the computer!

Skype, eh?

[Avles]

Originally Posted by Red Sunset

Looks like you ARE out of touch. Don't be afraid to evolve.

Nah, I don't think so. I have plenty of experience with facebook and it's while it's great for staying in touch with the faraway it's clearly extremely different from genuine in-person interaction.

[Red Sunset]

Agreed. I just don't like it when people say "oh you don't understand because you're from a younger generation". A lot of people seem to think their own generation is some kind of Golden Age. It's not, it's just a DIFFERENT age. You can either move with the times...... or stagnate and become bitter because you're not young anymore.

[NLBwell]

Originally Posted by Red Sunset

... or stagnate and become bitter because you're not young anymore.

I'm not bitter, but I do kind of like stagnating.

[Maui19]

Originally Posted by NLBwell

I'm not bitter, but I do kind of like stagnating.

Game, set, match NLBwell

[tennis tom]

Originally Posted by NLBwell

I'm not bitter, but I do kind of like stagnating.

Me too, it's the Western form of meditation. Folks would do much better on the tennis court if they would stagnate a bit more instead of running around the courts like chickens with their heads cut off (sorry PETA).

[NLBwell]

Yes, be like Mike
http://www.miketheheadlesschicken.org/story.php

[Roforot]

Originally Posted by Spokewench

Oh my God, am I out of touch or what? Roforot, you must be really young if you believe face to face means Facebook? Wow, really!

Face to face means talking to someone not some social media network on the computer!

No, but I think Facebook and it's ilk are replacing "Face to face" contact.

Have you ever been w/ a group of people where someone's texting someone else. Sometimes, they're having a text or virtual conversation w/ someone in the same room... I always thought it was odd and rude to be honest, but then I only use my phone or text out of necessity. Still you have to recognize that things have shifted to include virtual contacts. Cindy's friends may know that she ****ed off at them, but it's another matter if they're outed on Fbook!

In fact, I wonder if any of them are members of talktennis...

[Spokewench]

I think you have it wrong - I am on facebook. I use it for what I think it does best; but I do not think it replaces face-to-face contact with real people and real discussions. I think that it can be a cop out because people are not developing face-to-face communication skills. It has nothing to do with moving on with the times.