I'm The Rudest Hooker!

[jaybear1909]

Originally Posted by samarai

Its recreational tennis, there are no line judges, no instant replay. Hopefully no money involved. If both of your opponents call it out, then its out. You may question their call and put a thought in their minds to be more efficient in their calls but that's about it. You move on and play the next point.

In the third set that's how it went about. I just asked if they were being honest and the woman was furious to any objection.

A couple more points I just remembered:

We were in a rally and they were lobbing a lot. My gf was at the net, and a lob went close enough in range for her to swing at it. She wiffed at the ball and I was behind her to recover it. The point ended soon after, and the man proclaimed to scream that she tipped the ball. I just stared and he went on to serve angrily.

Another point I hit a ball close to the line, he put his finger up but she played it. Neither of them said anything and both quickly recovered to play the point out. I said "What??" as the ball was coming back over my side and I saw him shrug. We won the point and I asked "Was it in or not? What was that all about?" He huffed and shrugged and turned around. According to the rules that was our point as soon as they disaggreed on the call, correct?

These are just two examples out of about 50.

I promise you these guys were not playing fair tennis. I would never go to the extremes that I did had it not been warranted. Think of me how you will, but know that I am not the person you think I am. Unless of course you think I'm not all that bad, in which case you'd be right .

[woodrow1029]

Originally Posted by sureshs

jaybear:

Don't listen to the comments here. Posters are jealous of you because they cannot jump over a net.

There's that too. I wouldn't even make it halfway up the net!

[sureshs]

Originally Posted by woodrow1029

There's that too. I wouldn't even make it halfway up the net!

How do umpires get on their chair? Is a forklift used? Even if I could climb up there, I would be dizzy with vertigo.

[woodrow1029]

Originally Posted by sureshs

How do umpires get on their chair? Is a forklift used? Even if I could climb up there, I would be dizzy with vertigo.

You should see the chairs in Memphis and San Jose, with no stairs. They have to bring out either a ladder or some blocks to make steps for us to get up there.

[jaybear1909]

Originally Posted by sureshs

jaybear:

Don't listen to the comments here. Posters are jealous of you because they cannot jump over a net.

Thanks, lol.

[jaybear1909]

Originally Posted by woodrow1029

There's that too. I wouldn't even make it halfway up the net!

The truth comes out!

[blakesq]

Were these clay courts or hard courts? If they were hard courts, you were completely in the wrong.

Originally Posted by jaybear1909

Let me begin by saying I am by no means a hooker (ignore thread title). I call the ball as I see it fair (and more often than not give calls that I should have taken). So let's begin:

Tonight was my girlfriend and I's final mixed match. It was going to decide who won the division. We arrived at the courts and they were still very damp from the rain earlier this afternoon. We just decided to play with it (really wasn't bad) and soon learned that the balls left really good marks in the water. Great, so no one could cheat. Right?

Everything went smooth up until 5-4. I was serving out the set. There had been some iffy calls made, but with the ball marks clearly showing, no one objected. We go up 40-15, 2 set points. We get in a rally and our opponents both are playing baseline (why, I do not know). My girlfriend gets a forehand and hits it right down the middle. Neither of the opponents went for it. I saw it hit very close, and the man called it out. I then proceeded to jump over the net (okay, I could have walked around) and asked nicely if they could show me the mark. I was smiling, and had no intentions of being rude. The woman about freaking died! Firstly, she showed me a mark that was WAY away from the mark he showed me. Then she proceeded to tell me how rude I was for not honoring their call.

Of course we started arguing a little. I just explained to her that I was confirming it was out, I was not dishonoring anyone's calls (granted I saw no mark out ). She smarted off about 100 times and we dished it back out. Next point, I served and it went wide. She says "Do you think that one was in??" My girlfriend said "I can see it was out, thanks!". Second serve, we get into a rally. I end up hitting a shot to the man's forehand and he hits it just wide. Me and my girlfriend both call this shot wide. They immediately think we're cheating. I showed him where the ball hit, but he wouldn't hear it.

Second set we were just trying to calm down. Went down 2-5, came back to 5-5 and then lost it. Third set went up 3-0, then 5-4, my serve again. Shi* hit the fan my friends! They called 2 let balls (both clearly in) and a baseline shot out. Neither of us argued. We called 2 of their shots out (I saw them both out, and we had marks to prove it) and they went nuts.

At this point I was aiming for heads (no I didn't hit any, just an expression). We ended up winning the third 6-4. They had no intention of shaking our hands. I walked over and stuck my hand out, only to get a blank stare. Finally the woman shook mine furiously, and proceeded to tell me I was a great player. Then she says that me jumping over the net in the first set was the rudest thing she's ever witnessed. I told her that no matter how I got around the net, that I could legally look for the mark. She asked what I would do had I found a mark in and I said, "If I found it in, I'd show you, and if you still proceeded to call the ball out that's your call."

Am I really in the wrong for jumping over the net? I just wanted to see the mark (it was a very important point). I never saw the mark, but didn't argue. Just was showing them that I wasn't afraid to object. Regardless of how I get over there, I feel it's legal to look for a mark.

In all honesty, I think she's just jealous because she can't jump over the net .

*And we won by the way

[sureshs]

Originally Posted by woodrow1029

You should see the chairs in Memphis and San Jose, with no stairs. They have to bring out either a ladder or some blocks to make steps for us to get up there.

Or just climb up on Ivo Karlovic's back.

Seriously, I once tried sitting on an umpire's chair that had been set up for a junior tournament at my club, and I felt uncomfortable. I did not think it was heavy enough to withstand my climbing, and after that I was afraid of toppling over. I am like, if one person can drag this chair around, how safe is it really for climbing up on?

[jaybear1909]

Originally Posted by blakesq

Were these clay courts or hard courts? If they were hard courts, you were completely in the wrong.

Hard.

And so I've been told.

[woodrow1029]

Originally Posted by sureshs

Or just climb up on Ivo Karlovic's back.

Seriously, I once tried sitting on an umpire's chair that had been set up for a junior tournament at my club, and I felt uncomfortable. I did not think it was heavy enough to withstand my climbing, and after that I was afraid of toppling over. I am like, if one person can drag this chair around, how safe is it really for climbing up on?

There are some that make me nervous, for sure. At Midland, MI, where they play the women's challenger, the chairs are affixed to the netpost. The ladder is attached to a single pole that is slanted upwards, and there is a seat on the top. When you look down from sitting on it, it gives the appearance that you are just "floating" there. When the serve hits the net, you can "feel" the let.

[NTRPolice]

Originally Posted by woodrow1029

LOL. Thanks for the comic relief of this thread though. If anyone wants to know how NOT to handle a situation on court, read the OP.

I dont think this thread is funny at all. I find this thread quite disturbing.

The OP is the exact kinda person I can see who follows a little old lady home after she "obviously" cuts him off and intends on giving her a piece of his mind. After he jumps out of his car and startling her hes so proud that when questioning her about her lane change she offers no explanation to his satisfaction.

Originally Posted by jaybear1909

Originally posted by jaybear1909; TRANSLATION BY NTRPolice

Let me begin by saying I am by no means a bad driver. I call lane possession as I see it. So let's begin:

Tonight was my girlfriend and I's final day with our rental car. It was going to decide whether or not we "rent to own" or just buy a new car all together. We arrived at the dealership and the roads were still very damp from the rain earlier this afternoon. We just decided to just drive it and soon learned that the tires left really good marks in the water. Great, so no one would drive bad. Right?

Everything went smooth up until I54. I was driving. There had been some iffy drivers out, but with the tire marks clearly showing, no one objected. We go up to 40-45 mph, 2 miles left. We get in the center lane and there are no cars around us. Out of nowhere this gold Mercedes comes out of nowhere. There were two people in that car, none of them even looked to see if it was clear. I saw it car come very close, and the man beeped his horn. I then proceeded to swerve around them and cut them off back and slamming my brakes (okay, I could have just flipped the bird). The cars came screeching to a halt and I asked nicely if they could show me the tire marks. I was smiling, and had no intentions of being rude. The woman about freaking died! She was clutching her chest and everything! LOLS! Firstly, she showed me a tire mark that was in the WRONG LANE from the tire mark he showed me. Then she proceeded to tell me how rude I was for slamming on my brakes.

Of course we started arguing a little. This little old lady stared going off. I tried "calmly" explaining how they almost killed us, but they wouldnt hear it. That old guy didnt want any of this.

I told them I was calling the cops on them and they went nuts.

At this point I was aiming for heads (no I wasnt going to beat this old couple up, but I wanted to intimidate them so they dont bother steppin' to this). We successfully got them to give us $100 for "griefing" us. I said "thanks" and extended my hand. They had no intention of shaking our hands. Finally the woman shook mine furiously, and proceeded to tell me I was a great driver. Then she says that me slamming on my brakes was the rudest thing she's ever witnessed. I told her that no matter how I get rear ended, that I could legally sue them because its their fault, and that $100 is a small price to pay. She asked what I would do had caused a serious accident and I said "If I you didnt cut me off, I wouldnt cut you off. I'd show you the price of playing games with me."

Am I really in the wrong for cutting them off and slamming my brakes as a response? I just wanted to see the tire marks in the rain so I could see if they were reall in our lane, or if we were in theirs (it was a very important point). I never saw the mark, but didn't argue, I just almost killed all of us instead. Just was showing them that I wasn't afraid to kill all of us just to prove my point. Regardless of how I get rear ended its their fault. I feel it's legal to look for a tire marks to check for whos vehicle had lane possession.

In all honesty, I think she's just jealous because I called that old lady out and she didnt want none of this. .

*And we won by the way

[jaybear1909]

Originally Posted by NTRPolice

Hi, my name is NTRPolice and I'll start by saying I've never played 4.0 a day in my life. I'll then continue to say that there's NO WAY IN HELL a 4.0 woman can serve 50 mph. They should be serving 80-100 or they're not 4.0! I am also bad at grammar (just look at that post that I quoted and switched around that the OP made! Man, I can't even understand most of it after re-reading it!

lol 10 char

[jaybear1909]

By the way, love how into my threads you get NTRP.

[woodrow1029]

NTRPolice gets the award for the Post of the Day!

[woodrow1029]

Originally Posted by jaybear1909

By the way, love how into my threads you get NTRP.

It's not possible to NOT get into a thread that has the quality that this one does!

[jaybear1909]

Originally Posted by woodrow1029

NTRPolice gets the award for the Post of the Day!

Technically, that's my post.

*But I'm not claiming it. I'm claiming most of it (the parts that are legible - the one's I wrote).

That whole second paragraph is a doozy.

[jaybear1909]

Originally Posted by woodrow1029

It's not possible to NOT get into a thread that has the quality that this one does!

When are you two getting married? If there's a net there, can I jump over it and object?

[woodrow1029]

Originally Posted by jaybear1909

Technically, that's my post.

That's like telling Weird Al Yankovic that he can't get credit for a great song because it's someone else's.

[woodrow1029]

Originally Posted by jaybear1909

When are you two getting married? If there's a net there, can I jump over it and object?

I'm already married. So, I'm sure someone else would object before you had the chance.

[jaybear1909]

Originally Posted by woodrow1029

I'm already married. So, I'm sure someone else would object before you had the chance.

Or would they...?

Dum dum dum.