How Not To Handle Not Being Invited

[3fees]

Captains should pick the best thats available and developing, there will always be persons who feel they should have been included,part of the headache of being a captain..

[Nostradamus]

Originally Posted by Gemini

Sounds like that person that sent the " I see you didn't invite me.." is harboring some existing issues. When people send me stuff like that, I take it that I've offended them in some way previously that I, personally, am not aware of. Still, that's his/her issue..not mine. And a message like that is a surefire way to make sure you NEVER receive an invite from me...for anything...ever!

And you're right, people need to stop assuming that they'll be invited to every event. There's a lot of competition out there and you may not be the best fit for the "job".

I doubt that person has issues. I am sure she felt like she should have been invited and wasn't so probably was wondering why ? maybe she is wondering she was wronged in someway or she offended cindy as a friend

[Nostradamus]

Originally Posted by 3fees

Captains should pick the best thats available and developing, there will always be persons who feel they should have been included,part of the headache of being a captain..

yea but you can't just dump people that's been with the team for years just cause they suck now or isn't as good as division winning team you are trying to build

[andfor]

Those not on the team.....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serfdom

[NumbersGuy]

Agree with Nostradamus. I've seen many teams (and captained one) that dumped a bunch of old players in favor of new, stronger ones. Created a bunch of ill will, which of course was expected, but perhaps more importantly the teams always self-destructed at the end of the year.

[Cindysphinx]

Originally Posted by Nostradamus

yea but you can't just dump people that's been with the team for years just cause they suck now or isn't as good as division winning team you are trying to build

It's more complicated than that.

I'm not trying to build a division-winning team. I think what people don't understand that it is very hard as captain to take/keep bad players on a roster.

It's the same thing every time we have a much weaker player on the roster. No one wants to partner with them. If I spread the pain by giving them several different partners, they complain that they have a revolving door of partners. If I don't play them a lot, they complain that they are riding the bench.

Add in the fact that captaining a bottom-feeding team makes it very, very hard to recruit. So even if we are not playoff bound, I would like my teams to make a respectable showing.

The answer to all of this is: If you want to be invited onto teams, improve you tennis.

[JoelDali]

Originally Posted by NumbersGuy

Agree with Nostradamus.

Nostradamus is looking very strong.

May win TTPOATYEC.

[Nostradamus]

Originally Posted by Cindysphinx

It's more complicated than that.

I'm not trying to build a division-winning team. I think what people don't understand that it is very hard as captain to take/keep bad players on a roster.

It's the same thing every time we have a much weaker player on the roster. No one wants to partner with them. If I spread the pain by giving them several different partners, they complain that they have a revolving door of partners. If I don't play them a lot, they complain that they are riding the bench.

Add in the fact that captaining a bottom-feeding team makes it very, very hard to recruit. So even if we are not playoff bound, I would like my teams to make a respectable showing.

The answer to all of this is: If you want to be invited onto teams, improve you tennis.

If they are like the weakest player, they usually know that. That is what I had found. and they know they won't get any much playing time as the strongest players. And when I am a captain, I usually just put them at #3 doubles when we play bottom 1/3 division teams. and that usually works out. These weaker or weakest players don't want to play when we play the top 1/3 division teams anyway.

[Cindysphinx]

Do the weaker players know they are weaker?

Nope.

I think if I told the two weakest players on any team I have captained that they are the weakest player, they would disagree and take great offense.

[JoelDali]

Most 3.5 GOATs ascend to higher levels in their own minds when playing in front of an audience. Especially during playoffs.

In 4.0 Queens Districts last year I saw a doubles team bust out into spontaneous 5.0 level volley and passing shot epic-ness, far beyond 4.0. Absolutely GOATed.

But they went on to Sectionals and got crushed by 4.5 samdbaggarz playing 4.0 for USTA league death glory.

[darrinbaker00]

Originally Posted by Nostradamus

yea but you can't just dump people that's been with the team for years just cause they suck now or isn't as good as division winning team you are trying to build

Why the heck not?

[tennis tom]

Originally Posted by Nostradamus

yea but you can't just dump people that's been with the team for years just cause they suck now or isn't as good as division winning team you are trying to build

Originally Posted by NumbersGuy

Agree with Nostradamus. I've seen many teams (and captained one) that dumped a bunch of old players in favor of new, stronger ones. Created a bunch of ill will, which of course was expected, but perhaps more importantly the teams always self-destructed at the end of the year.

A lot has to do with how it's done. If it's done with some compassion, face to face letting them down easy...nah, what am I saying, that's never worked when breaking up, why would it work for a tennis team? Just e-mail 'em that you're cutting 'em loose, park nose out and get ready to peel out.

To be fair, I would have a playoff and let the best players prove themselves. Very few team captains I've know are able to judge tennis talent as well as a tennis pro can. Best thing is hire a tennis pro to pick the team, then you can blame him.

[atatu]

Originally Posted by Cindysphinx

Do the weaker players know they are weaker?

Nope.

I think if I told the two weakest players on any team I have captained that they are the weakest player, they would disagree and take great offense.

Not to hijack this thread, but Cindy could you tell me if it is ok to join another team if your team from last year has not been in touch since the end of the season and you are now being recruited by last year's first place team ? I'm feeling conflicted about this, but I'm leaning towards jumping ship.

[Cindysphinx]

Originally Posted by atatu

Not to hijack this thread, but Cindy could you tell me if it is ok to join another team if your team from last year has not been in touch since the end of the season and you are now being recruited by last year's first place team ? I'm feeling conflicted about this, but I'm leaning towards jumping ship.

Hey, hijacks are fine!

I think players are free to jump ship so long as they haven't accepted an invitation already. If you want to be on that other team, this is your chance.

Now, if you like your old team and think the captain just hasn't sent out invitations yet, you could inquire. That would be a nice thing to do if you have a long history with the team.

Often, however, silence from a prior team means either there will be no team or you won't be on it. It would be really awkward to ask your old captain only to have him tell you that you have been given the heave ho.

Speaking of hijacks . . . . I have to say, it really bothers me when players accept an invitation, sit on it for months, and then change their minds and go play for another team. The asymmetry is a problem. I am not free to bump them from the team once they have accepted if a better player comes along, but they feel free to blow off their commitment to our team for greener pastures.

It makes a captain want to start requiring non-refundable $100 deposits to hold someone's place on the roster . . .

[buruan]

Thats a Generation ME problem if I ever heard one.
Less and less people can handle critizism.

A few years back I played for a 3.0 team and was the worst player on the team, I didn't get invited back the next season.
I wasn't happy about it, but in all seriousness, it makes sense to replace the weakest player.

I improved, and got recruited to a 3.5 team, in the City playoffs we played that exact team (by now mostly bumped to 3.5), I played in the winning 1st doubles getting us to sectionals, and sending them packing.

Either way, yes, just with everything in life if you are the worst of a certain group, you will likely get dropped.

[tennis tom]

Originally Posted by buruan

Thats a Generation ME problem if I ever heard one.
Less and less people can handle critizism.


... I played in the winning 1st doubles getting us to sectionals, and sending them packing.

... with everything in life if you are the worst of a certain group, you will likely get dropped.

Well said, revenge is sweet, anger is a great motivator.

[buruan]

Ha.
Anger is a bit strong a word here.
But winning that game was sweet indeed.

[Cindysphinx]

Originally Posted by buruan

Ha.
Anger is a bit strong a word here.
But winning that game was sweet indeed.

Revenge wins. Now that would make an interesting thread.

[atatu]

Originally Posted by buruan

Thats a Generation ME problem if I ever heard one.
Less and less people can handle critizism.

A few years back I played for a 3.0 team and was the worst player on the team, I didn't get invited back the next season.
I wasn't happy about it, but in all seriousness, it makes sense to replace the weakest player.

I improved, and got recruited to a 3.5 team, in the City playoffs we played that exact team (by now mostly bumped to 3.5), I played in the winning 1st doubles getting us to sectionals, and sending them packing.

Either way, yes, just with everything in life if you are the worst of a certain group, you will likely get dropped.

I think the belief that women take it worse than men is a fallacy, men are just as bad, and they might be more motivated to exact "revenge" than women. I've heard tons of "how do you like me now ??" stories from guys, rarely from women.

[seleswannabe]

Originally Posted by Cindysphinx

It's more complicated than that.

The answer to all of this is: If you want to be invited onto teams, improve you tennis.

^^Agreed Cindy, but it's like the saying, "I need experience to get a job, but I can't get experience unless I get a job"....

I am not sure about other clubs, but the 4.0 women at my club can be very elitist. If you don't know the right people, or aren't the kind of person they wish to include, you will not be included. In ANYTHING. I wish it were about "the tennis", but sadly with women it's about so much more.