Random thread of good jokes, aggie jokes, yo mama jokes, or what have you..

[Sentinel]

The Longest Password
We laugh -- but her I.D. is safe.

During a recent password audit by Google,
it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacrame nto"

When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and
said:
"Helloooo! It has to be at least 8 characters
long and include at least one capital."

[kairosntx]

^^^ Good one... I laughed out loud and had people looking at me wondering what I was looking at!

[BHiC]

Here are some great Mark Twain quotes -


"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."

"Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't."

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."

"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."

[stringertom]

^^^ "I never spent a colder winter than a summer in San Francisco!"

[Sentinel]

Q: Should I move to doubles.

Discuss.

A: You should move to Mongolia



(seen on a forum, not tennis, slightly changed)

[hollywood9826]

[jswinf]

Originally Posted by hollywood9826

Cruelty to tank-tops.

[hollywood9826]

[Sentinel]

Subject: Fw: They played this game they called Bridge

A lady applied for the position of a house maid. Asked why she left her last employment, she said: Sir, the wages were good, the living conditions were quite comfortable but it was the most ridiculous place I've ever worked. They played this game they called Bridge. Last night a lot of folks were there.

As I was about to bring the refreshments, I heard a man tell a lady: "Lay down and let*s see what you*ve got."


Another man said: "I have strength, but not much length."


Yet another man told a lady: "Take your hand off my trick!"

I dropped dead when a lady said: "You forced me. You jumped me twice but you didn*t have the strength for even one good raise."


Another lady was talking about protecting her honour.

One lady told another: "Now it*s my turn to play with your husband; you play with mine."
I packed my bags, took my hat and coat and was leaving, when I heard a young man say: "I guess we can go home now. This is the last rubber."

[jaggy]

Roger Federer gets ask what he likes about being Swiss. He replies:

"Well the flag is a big plus"

[Sentinel]

I once had a Chinese girlfriend. She was sweet .... and sour.

(taken from reddit)

[Leelord337]

Originally Posted by jaggy

Roger Federer gets ask what he likes about being Swiss. He replies:

"Well the flag is a big plus"

[Sentinel]

http://typicalprogrammer.com/?p=143

I was in a coffee shop in Portland, Oregon and happened to spot Linus Torvalds sitting alone at a window table. I asked the creator of the Linux operating system and the Git source code control system if I could join him. Over the next fifteen minutes we talked about programming and programmers.

Typical Programmer
It’s been 20 years since Linux was released. Now it’s one of the most widely-used operating systems. How does that make you feel?

Linus Torvalds
Surprised, frankly. It was a hobby project I didn’t expect to do much with. As interest in Linux grew I saw it used mainly by the hardcore programmers and computer geeks to separate themselves from the herd. There are a lot of people in the software industry who like to show off that they’re using the latest software or programming language. It’s a status thing, like the people who talk about obscure indie bands or foreign movies. Whether it’s Linux or Haskell or MongoDB or whatever, every workplace has at least one guy who spends most of his time talking about closures and how he is moving his blog to NodeJS so it will scale.

TP
Linux is mainstream now. Did it get too easy?

Linus
I don’t think it’s any easier, but there are a lot more resources now. In most ways Linux is more complicated to learn and use than Windows or MacOS. The people using it for servers were already used to Unix so it was no big change for them. They were used to conflicting updates and dependencies and shared library hell. On the desktop I think people lost interest after a few years.

TP
Lost interest?

Linus
No one is excited anymore about transparent console windows or Kate color schemes or being the first to post on Slashdot how to get some weird sound card to work. That’s what got the early adopters to switch from Windows to Linux. Now Linux looks like Windows. I can install Ubuntu on my grandmother’s laptop and she wouldn’t know the difference, as long as there’s a Facebook icon on the screen.

TP
What about all of the Linux distros out there? It seems like there are more distros than Linux desktop users.

Linus
There are more Linux distros on a single Linux Format disc than Microsoft has versions of Windows. But they’re all pretty much the same thing warmed over. Only the clever and cute names distinguish one distro from another. Once a Linux For Dummies book was published I started to lose interest in it.

TP
You released the Git distributed version control system less than ten years ago. Git caught on quickly and seems to be the dominant source code control system, or at least the one people argue about most on Reddit and Hacker News.

Linus
Git has taken over where Linux left off separating the geeks into know-nothings and know-it-alls. I didn’t really expect anyone to use it because it’s so hard to use, but that turns out to be its big appeal. No technology can ever be too arcane or complicated for the black t-shirt crowd.

TP
I thought Subversion was hard to understand. I haven’t wrapped my head around Git yet.

Linus
You’ll spend a lot of time trying to get your head around it, and being ridiculed by the experts on github and elsewhere. I’ve learned that no toolchain can be too complicated because the drive for prestige and job security is too strong. Eventually you’ll discover the Easter egg in Git: all meaningful operations can be expressed in terms of the rebase command. Once you figure that out it all makes sense. I thought the joke would be obvious: rebase, freebase, as in what was Linus smoking? But programmers are an earnest and humorless crowd and the gag was largely lost on them.

TP
What do you think of github?

Linus
It started as a place for mothballing unmaintained and unnecessary projects, and that is still most of what is hosted there. But it’s turned into a kind of World of Warcraft universe for programmers, where they are ranked by their commits and which projects they have trunk privileges on. I read about a recruiting company built around the idea that github reputation means something, so I guess if you aren’t committing to github you won’t be getting a job at the coolest startups. The good old days of writing FizzBuzz and moving Mt. Fuji during your interview are over.

TP
It sounds like you’ve soured a little on Git.

Linus
The first Git For Dummies and Git Visual Quickstart books are going to be out in a couple of months, and that is the beginning of the end as far as I’m concerned. Those books mean the end of git expertise and github reputation as reliable indicators of geek status. Once a technology is adopted by the masses the extreme geeks find something more esoteric. Look at what happened to Ruby on Rails. The people stumbling their way through Rails to-do list tutorials have never even heard of DHH.

TP
So what’s next?

Linus
I’m not sure. It’s getting hard to predict the next technology fashion. I have a text editor I’ve been using myself that is so complicated it makes VIM look like Notepad — maybe I’ll release that.

Linus finished his coffee and had to leave. I appreciate his time and for making me think about Linux and Git in new ways.

[Dedans Penthouse]

Guy walks into a coffee shop in Portland, Oregon and sits down with a fresh cup of coffee. The cell phone on the table starts ringing.

He answers it on speaker, "Hello?"

"Hi honey, you know that cruise I've been wanting to take? Well our travel agent just called and she says the price drops from $18,500 to $16,000 during the week of your business trip to New York. I hope you don't mind but I booked it for myself. You aren't angry are you?"

"Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy" the man answered. "In fact, go ahead and book the 30-day cruise." She squealed with excitement and thanked him profusely.

They said their goodbyes and everyone in the coffee shop had gone stone quiet, listening to the conversation on speaker. The man closed the phone, looked around at all the people starting at him and said, "Does anyone know whose phone this is?"

________

[Sentinel]

[rk_sports]

Originally Posted by Bobby Jr

Some Olympic humour... the funniest games related video I've seen so far.

http://www.thatvideosite.com/v/5852

ah haha! ..that is freaking unreal...
right at the end is the killer... "..no one won the race! oh!..no! its the beginning"

[Leelord337]

Originally Posted by rk_sports

ah haha! ..that is freaking unreal...
right at the end is the killer... "..no one won the race! oh!..no! its the beginning"

haha yeah, its a good vid to get your friends to try to watch without laughing...And I don't think that was really Tim Henman on the team GB boat was it?

[Sentinel]

Originally Posted by Leelord337

haha yeah, its a good vid to get your friends to try to watch without laughing...And I don't think that was really Tim Henman on the team GB boat was it?

Nope, and nor was it Steven Spielberg, lol.

[Leelord337]

Originally Posted by Sentinel

Nope, and nor was it Steven Spielberg, lol.

hahaha. I loved how he called them "idgiots"

[Leelord337]

People should start calling vets Dogtors.