anger management

[kthomas]

i used to break racquets all the time 2 years ago...now instead of doing that i'm yelling and cussing. idk which is better but at least cussing is cheaper. anyways, tonight two courts down from me.....a whole family is playing....

i had a tough night playing...i was down 1-4, i come back to 4-4 and then its 5-5.....anyways i had enough and i just leave and slam the gate. their dad comes to me and says how i shouldnt be cussing in front of 14 yr olds and his 7 yr old or whatever.

how do you handle it when you're losing without cussing?

[MPC]

I can't really relate to people like that. I get frustrated and as a result could become distracted, but I don't get angry like that.

try to focus on correcting your errors instead of swearing about them

[raiden031]

I went through a few phases of this over the years. Playing bad used to have little effect on me. Then as I started getting better I developed higher expectations of myself and started getting angry when I didn't meet them. I would crush the ball into the fence or sometimes throw my racquet while angry. My cussing increased and became louder and more frequent. Then I threw my racquet once in a USTA league match and it ticked off the players in the next court. After that I realized I was going too far and have been trying to curb this behavior. I have done a very good job controlling the need to throw anything but sometimes I still cuss, but its usually to myself where hopefully others can't hear it but sometimes its still too loud so I have some work to do.

I think the key is you have to realize what it looks like to other people and then make a conscious effort not to do it when you are getting urges.

[Headshotterer]

be like john mcenroe
he is angry, but uses it too boost his game

[kthomas]

hell yea, i must be related to johnny mac

[TommyC]

Okay well I'm a brand-new horrible tennis play, so I can't relate to you in that aspect. But in other sports I've had times where I can see where you're coming from--most of the time it would be football where I could take out the anger on the next play. In baseball, if I had my perfect home run pitch and missed, I'd probably be right about where you're at wanting to throw the bat, yell, whatever. I'd squeeze the bat handle like a stress ball pretty much, and try to shake it off as much as possible. Being angry at yourself on your next play(or point, in tennis) isn't going to make you do much better.

[AznRamenDude]

on your next serve, hammer it like there is no tomorrow. do a double fault if you want to get it out of your system. and if you somehow get it in, at least it will leave you opponent going "wtf was that..."

try not to spoil the kids at an early age. yes, they would eventually learn it and the 14 years old knows all the words anyway, but at least spare the 7 year old.

[ttbrowne]

Learn to cuss in another language that no one understands.

[ThA_Azn_DeViL]

coming from me, take a breather, and walk around for a sec before going back into the game, naturally you should calm down at least a little, if not then like everybody else does, throw your racquet!!

[LuckyR]

Originally Posted by kthomas

i used to break racquets all the time 2 years ago...now instead of doing that i'm yelling and cussing. idk which is better but at least cussing is cheaper. anyways, tonight two courts down from me.....a whole family is playing....

i had a tough night playing...i was down 1-4, i come back to 4-4 and then its 5-5.....anyways i had enough and i just leave and slam the gate. their dad comes to me and says how i shouldnt be cussing in front of 14 yr olds and his 7 yr old or whatever.

how do you handle it when you're losing without cussing?

A couple of ideas:

It is the very uncommon personality who plays better when emotional. If you are one of the very few who can pull this off, it is good to know this. I would use it to my advantage during tournament play. Use at other times (for matches that don't matter) is basically broadcasting the fact that you throw tantrums like a five year old. Pretty embarrassing.

If you are the 99% of folks who play worse when emotional, and you allow yourself to get emotional anyway, then basically you are saying that soothing your ego is more important than winning. Which is fine, I guess, if you don't care about winning (assuming looking like a five year old is OK too). If winning is important to you, you need to wrap your mind around the fact you are intentionally sabotaging your matchplay. Most folks who care about winning are in search of any conceivable advantage (look at the number of Threads in this Topic) to increase their wins, here is an easy one right in front of you. Go for it.

[eric draven]

Originally Posted by kthomas

i used to break racquets all the time 2 years ago...now instead of doing that i'm yelling and cussing. idk which is better but at least cussing is cheaper. anyways, tonight two courts down from me.....a whole family is playing....

i had a tough night playing...i was down 1-4, i come back to 4-4 and then its 5-5.....anyways i had enough and i just leave and slam the gate. their dad comes to me and says how i shouldnt be cussing in front of 14 yr olds and his 7 yr old or whatever.

how do you handle it when you're losing without cussing?

I used to be just like that, throw the racket, cuss out everyone and everything within earshot and then I had kids. I don't know if you can relate but what helped me was thinking two things:

1. What would my children think of me if they saw me behave this way?
2. What do I think of myself when I behave this way?

The main thing I do now is create a routine, something I do after every single point the same way win or lose. I chose to do this rather than explode on the court. For serves I'll always bounce the ball twice, breathe deep twice and go into my delivery. For returns I'll try to focus on a particular spot on the fence for a moment before walking to the baseline for the next return. Then, I'll twirl my racquet in my hands twice and rock side to side. Having a routine gives you something to focus on other than the negative. It also keeps you from riding too high after winning a fantastic point.